What was I thinking?

Enough Is ENOUGH!

2007-02-09T14:47:00.000-05:00

I've had all the fun I can take with blogger. I spent most of the day today migrating ALL of my blog content over to another site.

I can now be found HERE!

2007-02-08T11:41:00.000-05:00

HOLY SHIT!

I just got a newsflash that Anna Nicole Smith collapsed and died. Check your news...

I feel sorry for the legal battle that's going to occur over that little baby girl born in September....

Remember that SUV driven into the lake that I blogged about yesterday?

Well, it's been sitting in that lake, with sub-zero wind chills and surface temperatures in the single digits for about 2 days. They finally got it out last night. It went in a whole SUV, this is what it looked like when it came out last night.

It is estimated, so far, that the cost of removing the vehicle from the lake is around $5,000, not counting the anticipated fines from the DEC for the oil and gas leaking into the lake. It was almost double it's original weight (from 4500 lbs. to 9000 lbs.) from the frozen stuff inside it. It apparently kept falling through the ice every time they got it above the ice.

Lake-effect snows are wreaking havoc around here these days. As I type this, I can barely make out the building across the quad, the snow is coming down so hard -- whiteout. A bit more north of where we are, they've already had about 5 feet fall since Monday, and are expecting more still. Simply put, lake-effect snow happens when cold, dry air moves in from Canada and crosses the warm(er) lake water, where the front picks up vapor and turns it to snow/ice.

Just as a matter of interest, these lake-effect bands (or snowbelts) have a large population of people who suffer from "seasonal affective disorder"(commonly called Winter Depression) because these areas are often overcast. Rochester's average sunny day count for the year is only 58 days. Now, that doesn't mean that we don't see the sun for the other 307 days of the year, only that, on average, it's not cloudy in any way for 58 days.

A state senator has introduced legislation that would make talking on the phone while a pedestrian (presumably around traffic) illegal and subject to a $100 fine. Hmmm....not sure how I feel about this. From one side, I can see the safety issue but heck, at what point is cell phone use NOT going to be illegal? I don't know, I think this might be going a bit far...

It's about time to blow this pop stand, and hey, ony one more day in the work week!

Random thoughts and stuff

2007-02-07T10:01:00.000-05:00

So, here's a bunch of us on Go Red Friday. I'm all the way in the back, right side (as you look at the picture), second from the right (dark hair, white turtleneck, between a black woman and a woman with red/black on). Note the men in the picture -- I think it was pretty cool that they participated.

Today is little Brandon's 4th birthday. His blanket was delivered to their house (in the pirate's chest) yesterday, so we're anxiously awaiting that phone call tonight.

I finished a hat I made for Lisa last night, too. Now she's got a hat to go with her scarf. She's good for my knitting self-esteem, claiming that she feels honored/privileged to be the "guinea pig" for anything I make. And she wears that stuff proudly! Gosh how I love that little dork-o-mine!

I've also been working on a three color project -- white background, green leaves, red rose flowers. It's really very pretty and I'm quite taken with my ability to incorporate multi-colors into a project.

I'm staying small for the time being -- no big projects, just little ones that are easy and quickly completed. I've done cloths with motifs -- yellow duckie, fish, sailboat, pear, apple, cat paw.

I have patterns for every letter in the alphabet, as well as several animals and other child items (planes, etc.) I have a pattern for awareness ribbons, too. I'm considering taking orders for them, as well as making up a whole bunch of them to sell at the Fall Foliage Festival in October (along with our other wares that we'll have at our booth).

The memorial service for my uncle is Saturday at 1:00. I figure to go down earlier in the day, hang with my aunt and uncle for a bit, then go with them. Lisa will likely stay home, which is fine.

Then I have to turn around and go back down there next Wednesday to go to traffic court. First ticket I've gotten in more than 20 years, and it was for doing a U-turn in one of those turnarounds on the highway -- you know the ones, they're built to turn around in, but they have a sign that says No U-Turn. Well, I was trying for more than 2 miles to get over to the right lane to exit, but I apparently offended the car that was in the right lane because, if I slowed, so did she, if I sped up, so did she -- she just wouldn't let me in. As my exit approached, I briefly considered a quick acceleration and shooting across the two lanes to exit, but people who do that piss me off and, it's not a very safe thing to do anyway. Just as I made the decision to stay on the highway and not shoot across the two lanes, I saw a state trooper in the median -- thankfully, I made the right decision. A mile or so down the road, I turned around and backtracked to my exit. Unbeknownst to me, there was another state trooper following me in an SUV. So, I got a ticket. I'm not going to fight it, just show up at court in the hopes that it'll be reduced to something that's not a moving violation.

The SuperBowl sure was a yawner, wasn't it? I mean, other than the first five minutes, that is. High points of the game was the Colts' offense racking up 190 rushing yards against what normally is a very stingy Bears defense -- the team of Addai and Rhodes just tore up the field.

Tony Dungy, in my opinion, should have been named MVP of that game. Oh, sure, he's not a player, per se, but he's a player in the bigger pictures. And here is a guy that got Tampa Bay just shy of the SuperBowl, and left an excellent team for John Gruden to take to the SuperBowl, and win.

I was glad to see Peyton Manning get that ring, but wasn't at all sure that the MVP selection was right.

I'm off the Provera now, and actually have my energy back. I spent the last ten days in such a fatigued funk that all I could think of all day long was a nap. Thankfully I only have to be on that crap for ten days out of every three months.

Almost every school in the area was closed yesterday. With wind chills reaching the -20 mark, the problem of child safety was a factor for most level-headed school administrators but, for those districts that typically don't close until AFTER the allotted time for federal monies, they were forced to close because the frigid temperatures caused jelling of the diesel fuel in the buses, and the buses just wouldn't run. Almost two dozen buses broke down and had to be repaired on the side of the road, while students waited in the frigid temperatures inside the buses.

As it turns out, the problems with the fuel jelling comes from a state mandate which requires the use of a low-sulfur fuel additive. I guess we'd better go back to the drawing board on that state mandate, eh?

Ever notice how severe weather brings out the excessively stupid? Here's a moron who saw other tracks on the ice at the local bay, and decided to drive his SUV on it. Now, keep in mind that, up until about 3 weeks ago, we had temperatures in the 50s and 60s since the onset of winter. Sure, we've had some pretty low temperatures, but not for a long enough time to completely freeze one of the GREAT LAKES. According to police, the tracks he saw were most likely from MUCH LIGHTER four-wheelers. What a stupid, stupid, stupid putz. Wouldn't you love to know how much it's going to cost him to get it out of the bay? They said he has to get it out, and very soon -- they're not going to let him leave it there until the spring thaw or anything like that. One tow truck operator estimates it'll run about $3,000. I hope it costs him his right nut, too. Idiot.

Miracles upon miracles, the Rev. Ted Haggard has been counseled out of his homosexuality, and after only three short weeks! I'm sure that his conviction of his heterosexuality doesn't have anything to do with any wants, needs or desires to head up another big-budget organization like the one he had before, right?

February 2, 2007

2007-02-02T10:30:00.000-05:00

Well, Phil says there'll be an early spring. I'll believe that when I see it. Here in Western New York, the weather typically defies all rules and odds. Oh, sure, we've had a mild winter thus far (except for the past two weeks) but around here, that just means that winter will last until August or so.

Here's an interesting site with great historical information on the whole groundhog day thing, as well as a chart of "readings" going back to 1900. Interestingly enough, only 15 times in the past 107 years has the groundhog NOT seen his shadow, and predicted an early spring.

In addition to Groundhog Day, today is National Wear Red Day to raise awareness of women's heart and stroke health. There was a woman on the radio this morning (apparently also in Women's Day) who, at the age of 32, had a heart transplant. Apparently she had a virus attach to her heart when she was 28. But, because she was young and female, they didn't believe there was anything wrong with her heart. It took four years before anyone seriously took a look at her heart and, by the time they did, her heart was functioning at only 15%. On the day of the surgery for the transplant, her husband flew up to be with her, via helicopter. The chopper crashed, and her husband died nine days later. Left to raise three kids alone, and recuperate from the heart transplant as well, this is truly an inspirational story.

Only a bit more than 55 hours until the SuperBowl.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about this game and, while Indianapolis is a great team, they lack in defense what Chicago excels in. Rex Grossman lacks what Peyton Manning exudes but, like my son's Pop Warner football coach used to tell the boys, "If they can't score, they can't win." I'd like to see Peyton Manning get this ring, but I think the reality is that, even though they are the odds-on favorites, I think they've got a better chance at losing than they do at winning -- unless their defense shows up with a vengeance. Time will tell.

Apparently the state police have found more remains, which we assume are those of my missing uncle. They have also determined that the skull was fractured, although they are unable to determine if it was pre- or post-mortem.

Rants

2007-02-01T10:58:00.000-05:00

OK, so someone give me a quick lesson on the United States Constitution, specifically

Article IV, which begins: Full faith and credit shall be given in each state to the public acts, records, and judicial proceedings of every other state. And the Congress may by general laws prescribe the manner in which such acts, records, and proceedings shall be proved, and the effect there of.

The 14th Amendment, which begins: All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction equal protection of the laws.

With this in mind, I wonder how individual states and the lawmakers in them can do this sort of thing WITHOUT someone taking it up with the Supreme Court -- and who advises these so-called "lawmakers?"

Wyoming Senate Passes Ban On Out-Of-State Gay Marriages
by 365Gay.com Newscenter Staff

Posted: January 31, 2007 - 7:00 pm ET

(Cheyenne, Wyoming) The Wyoming State Senate passed legislation Wednesday that would ban the state from recognizing same-sex marriages performed in other states or countries where they are legal.

The bill passed 21-8 generally along party lines, with most Democrats opposed and most Republicans in favor of the bill.

If the bill passes the House and signed into law by the governor it would mean Wyoming gays could not travel to Canada or any of the European countries where same-sex couples can marry and have their marriages recognized when they return home.

It also would mean if a same-sex couple moved to Wyoming because of work or even visited the state their marriages would be considered void in Wyoming.

One of the few Republicans to vote against the measure, Sen. Cale Case, said Wyoming already has a poor reputation for its treatment of gays as a result of the 1998 murder of Matthew Shepard.

Wyoming already has a so-called Defense of Marriage law that mandates marriages conducted in the state must be between a man and woman. The new measure would strengthen that act.

But opponents say the new provisions will make it harder for companies and universities to attract the most qualified people.

Supporters of the bill say they only want to strengthen traditional marriage.

Wyoming calls itself 'The Equality State'.

You really have to laugh at the irony of that last sentence, don't you?

On the flip side of the coin, Connecticut lawmakers have introduced a bill that would legalize same sex marriage in that state.

Oppponents, naturally, claim that the concept of marriage goes all the way back to Christ (who never married -- not sure how that fits into their logic). While it may be true that the CONCEPT of marriage goes back to Biblical days, the practice of marriage in front of a priest, or in a church, only dates back to the 1500s -- which makes the argument of marriage being a "sacred institution, blessed by God" nothing more than wishful thinking.

In ancient times, women were either "captured" or "purchased" into marriage -- that act of capture or purchase actually being the "marriage ceremony." In some cultures, a large celebratory dinner was the ceremony. And interestingly enough, the Catholic Church recognizes that "...yet among many uncivilized peoples marriage has taken place, and still takes place, without any formal ceremony whatever. " The Catholic Church herself did not classify marriage as a sacrament until 1563.

So much for the argument of "sacred institution."

Anyway, the leading oponents of this legislation, The Family Institute, makes the same old tired argument that these marriages are a threat to the institution of marriages (and these folks NEVER EVER EVER explain HOW it's a threat to the institution, just that it is).

Love Makes a Family head Anne Stanback argues "Divorce is a threat to marriage. Infidelity, domestic violence and losing your job (are) a threat to marriage, marriage is not a threat to marriage."

Right on, sister!

Thievery

2007-01-31T11:00:00.000-05:00

I think today I'm just mostly going to steal stuff from other blogs.

From Sandra's blog, I got this:

Your Chances of Being a Multimillionaire: 76%

You have a good chance of being a multimillionaire. Better than most people.
You simply have a natural knack for money and the personality for success.

Will You Be a Multimillionaire?

It made my day!

And Gladys, from Austin, TX talks to Ellen DeGeneres -- and it's a hoot! (I got this from sassy) WARNING! If you're at work, this may literally cause you to laugh out loud, so don't blame me if you get in trouble!

One of the professors sent me this -- you might need to watch it more than once because there's a lot to really see:

Not sure I have any comments on this one -- seems to fit, great leering and all! LOL!

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is:
Very Lady Pat the Verdant of Great Leering
Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

And finally:

Q: Why do most men want to vote for a woman for President?

A: So they only have to pay her half as much.

2007-01-29T11:07:00.000-05:00

As soon as I figure out how to send sassy all this frickin' snow, I'm going to have it dumped right in front of her door (and all over her car -- so she can have that wonderful exercise you get cleaning that crap off your car). Perhaps I'll ball it all up and toss it at her as she comes out of the house.

We're supposed to get snow every single day this week, right on through to Sunday, with 1-3" accumulation each day.

I am sick to death of getting up early so that I can get to work on time, just because of the snow. It took more than two hours Friday to get from home, to the chiropractor, and back to work -- not arriving at work until 9:45. This morning it took twice the normal time as well. Friday was especially bad, though, with parts of the expressway closed due to "multiple crashes" and traffic either backed up waiting for the expressway to re-open, or traffic snarled and congested on the surface streets, from the people trying to bail out of the expressway and find an alternate route to work. I saw a couple of SUV's wipe out -- the first one was really going fast, lost control, made the second one swerve and they both wiped out. The first one came to rest listing to one side on a hilly part of the median. The second came to rest on the shoulder, facing in the right direction, as if he'd pulled over momentarily.

Assholes get what they deserve on those kinds of roads...

OK, I've had my temper tantrum, on to other things...

Filed under the "no huge surprise" category, it seems that 58% of Americans want Dubya's Presidency to just be over. My, how things have changed in the past two years when some of those voters thought he was the man to keep in the White House. Buyer's remorse.

Approval rating at 30%? According to Newsweek, the lowest rating for the President since they started keeping track of it.

Perhaps instead of stumping for a change to the Constitution to restrict the rights of same-sex couples, we should be looking toward an amendment that would allow the nation to UNelect a President who has lost favor with the country, through a "no-confidence" vote or something. Sort of like what they did in California with Governor Gray.

The world is more peaceful and more free under my leadership -- G.W.
Bush, White House, October 2003

We went down to see my Aunt Wanda for her birthday on Saturday. We had a nice, quiet visit, ordered Chinese food, had a wonderful dinner, and got home around 11:00. We slept in yesterday morning, until nearly 10:00.

Lisa applied some polyurothane to the little guy's chest that we're going to send his blanket in, and then we put new stain on two of my end tables (that I've had for 25+ years). They had scratches and nicks and bumps in them and, being that they're pine, they showed those imperfections really, really well. The new stain colored and hid many of those sins and, from just a few feet away, they look like new pieces of furniture.

I knocked out a quick cloth, for something small and fun to do. I did it in white. I'm not looking for any huge projects anytime soon, although I have promised Lisa I'd try to do a sweater.

We did a lot of picking up, weeding out, dusting, and just sort of low-keyed cleaning. I re-organized my knitting supplies, inventoried my yarn, put all the loose patterns in a binder, and collected up all of the stitch markers laying around and got them into a container.

Oh, sure, it's not nearly as exciting as sassy's pen adventure, but we just don't like living that close to the edge.

I'm back on the Provera again. Not only am I de-railed on my weight loss quest, but I'm so G.D. tired I can't stand it. The last time I went on the stuff, I gained 13 lbs. and have yet to lose it. I'd dropped 6 lbs. since the first of the year and, within two days of going back on the shit, I was back up 2 lbs. I'm back up to the original weight I started at the beginning of the month. No point in even trying to diet until I'm off the shit -- which will be the end of the week.

The idea is to force a period, since it's been 3 months again since I last had one. My GYN tells me that as long as there are eggs, I need to do this every 3 months or so, or run a risk of uterine cancer.

Not only do I gain weight, but I'm so frickin' tired I can't stand it. I feel like I haven't slept in years. I'm sluggish, dull-witted, and just generally drained. (Not like the dull-witted could be blamed on the Provera, though.)

We're going to the Home Depot Do-It-Herself Workshop tonight with my foster sister. I put on a crockpot of "white chili" and we'll have dinner early, then make our way to the Home Depot. We really needed to go yesterday for some stuff but decided to wait until after today, as we usually get 10% off coupons at these workshops. Hey, every little bit helps, eh?

2007-01-25T09:00:00.000-05:00

I've been remiss in my correspondences lately and haven't been around to some of my friends' blogs to catch up and comment, but I want to make note of a couple of folks who I'd like to offer congratulations to.

So, congratulations to:

Jenn -- who got a big, hairy gorilla of her own off her back...her now EX-husband. I've been reading Jenn's blog for about a year now, following the story of her divorce from The Idiot with the morbid fascination that one would have for a train wreck -- and that guy IS a train wreck.

Patti who is moving into a new house in the next couple of weeks. A new house is always fun -- it's like getting a clean slate in part of your life. Given that she's recently changed jobs and now this new house, it looks like Patti is making all the right moves (pardon the pun).

The identification process on the remains found was inconclusive so far. They're being sent to Albany for some forensic tests, mostly some DNA sampling.

More when it becomes available.

Drowning

2007-01-24T13:57:00.000-05:00

I woke up at around 3:30 this morning sitting on our bed, gasping for breath – choking, gulping in air, panicked, unsure of my surroundings, Lisa’s concerned voice foreign to me. Even through the darkness I was able to make out items in our bedroom but not even those familiar things seemed right, nor did they restore anything that resembled calm in me. I was aware of where I was and was even aware that I was awake and safe, yet I continued to choke and gulp air, as if I was barely rising above water to gasp in breath. Overwhelming fear crushed my chest. I felt Lisa’s hand on my back and heard her voice urgently saying “Pat, are you okay?” Unable to respond, I could only try to choke in air to try and stop the burning in my lungs that had begun. A little more panicked and a little more high-pitched I heard her ask again “Pat, are you okay?”

As I finally began to gulp in (and swallow) air, I nodded my head. It seemed like an eternity before I was finally able to breathe and my heart felt like it had leaped up into my throat, hammering away.

I had been drowning – that’s the only way I can describe it.

For many years I had violent nightmares – horrific dreams starring my abuser, nightmares that just wouldn’t give me a break. While I would awaken panicked and breathless, I was always nauseous and choking but never like this. This was strangely different and I have no explanation for it. I don’t believe I had been dreaming at all. I haven’t had those nightmares in a long, long time, thanks to some good therapy and excellent hypnosis.

Lisa thinks that maybe my saliva just went down my throat the wrong way. I suppose she’s right, but the way I was gasping and wheezing for air, I somehow doubt that a little bit of spittle could have done that.

Once my heart slowed, I lay back down and, with Idgie camped on my chest, I drifted back to sleep – not at all what I would have been able to do with those long ago nightmares. I’m a bit unsettled by it all today, not sure what it was all about.

Lisa had a job interview today – in fact, it started just a little over an hour ago. I would have thought I would have heard from her by now, as we both believed it was just a preliminary HR interview that is often done at large companies, just to sort of “size” up any potential employees.
She’s been so disenchanted at her job lately. There is nobody there with any meaningful managerial skills, including the President of the company, who drinks during the day most days now. I pointed out to her last night that, when the “big 3” are away (President, GM, and Sales Manager), they leave the company in the hands of a very capable HOURLY employee (she makes just a tad over $12 an hour, and is in charge of a company at times????) And she’s worth so much more than what they’re paying her.

Lisa does inventory control these days. Before she took it over, each year they had to adjust inventory in amounts that would equal just about 1% of sales. That’s a lot of unaccounted for inventory when a company makes more than $5 million in sales.

Since Lisa took it over, the past two years their adjustment rate has not even equaled one one-hundredth of a percent. Last November, they adjusted only about $1,000 worth of unaccounted for inventory – as opposed to more than $50,000 in the past.

Inventory control specialists make almost double what Lisa is making.

I’m proud of her, that she’s taking this step, even if it amounts to nothing. I think it will do her good to get out there and look around, and reinforce to herself what her worth is.

I finished that GD blanket over the weekend. I put it in the washer on a delicate cycle, same with the dryer, and found I didn't need to block it. It looks great and it's ready in time for the little guy's birthday February 7th. That's a huge, hairy gorilla off my back!

No word yet on whether the remains found down in the southern tier are those of my uncle, although there's a reasonable certainty that they are his.

Fatigued Friday Frought with Frenzy

2007-01-19T12:10:00.000-05:00

YAY! SINGLE DIGITS!

DOWN SIX!

Art Buchwald passed away yesterday. In the past two weeks, Yvonne DeCarlo, Carlo Ponti, Jane Bolin and Tillie Olsen have also passed away.

Lisa is feeling better, after having suffered for almost two weeks with a nasty sinus thing. With her sinuses not draining (impacted) and then finally draining, she’s coughed and hacked a lot at night – once I thought she was going to hack up a lung – and she’s not getting much rest (nor am I, for that matter). We decided we were going to lay low this weekend and just give her some slow, quiet time to finish mending.

We’re supposed to get somewhere between a dusting and a foot of snow depending on where the “localized snow squalls” end up during the lake effect snow we’re supposed to be getting. They’re using the term “blizzard” in the forecast but “blizzard” doesn’t refer to snow, it refers to strong wind gusts during a snowfall. And that’s exactly what we’re supposed to be getting – 35-40 mph winds during this lake effect storm.

It’s probably a good thing we planned to stay home and lay low. Sounds like the kind of weather where the best activity is to lounge on the couch (or bed) and find a good movie to nap through. Just interesting enough to not be boring, but not so interesting that you stay awake and watch it all the way through.

The state police stopped by my Aunt Wanda’s house today to inform the family that some remains have been found about a mile and a half upstream from where my , missing uncle lived. I figure it’s a pretty good bet that it’s him, and can’t imagine who else it would be. They’ll send the remains up here to Rochester for an autopsy and possible identification, since they don’t have those kinds of facilities down in cow country in the southern tier. Poor Jerry.

I’ve gotten hammered all week at work by the same faculty who always wait until the last possible moment to get their syllabi, course outlines and class handouts done. They come in, frantic, thinking I’m going to wave some magic wand and make everything happen for them. One, who came in yesterday at three o’clock and was told that he wouldn’t get his stuff back before Monday, said to me “You DO realize that the semester starts on Monday, don’t you?” I said “Yep, sure do. And I’ve been here for the past three weeks with NOTHING to do.”

What a putz. The lot of them!

I’ve stayed late almost every night this week trying to keep up. I’ve been flying solo for two years now, having had my other position sort of “stolen” from me by our director who sold some bogus numbers to the VP. Of course, HE got the position. Last night, about 5:45 I thought “Why am I staying late to get this shit done?” Frankly, if they don’t care enough to staff us properly, then I don’t see any reason to care enough to stay late. However, I don’t think today is the day to draw the line – I’ll make a point, starting Monday, to leave on time every day. What doesn’t get done, doesn’t get done. They can complain to the VP.

Bitter? Me? Nahhhh

I stole this from sassy’s blog:

In 1955 (the year you were born)

Dwight Eisenhower is president of the US

Hurricane "Diane" claims 184 lives form North Carolina to New England

Rosa Parks refuses to give up her bus seat, which leads to bus segregation being declared unconstitutional

The AFL merges with the CIO, creating the nation's largest labor union

Dr. Jonas Salk discovers a vaccine for polio

The Scrabble board game debuts

Disneyland opens in Anaheim, California

Kevin Costner, John Grisham, Arsenio Hall, Steve Jobs, and Billy Bob Thornton are born

Charlie Parker, Albert Einstein, and James Dean die

Brooklyn Dodgers win the World Series

Cleveland Browns win the NFL champion ship

Detroit Red Wings win the Stanley Cup

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov is published

What Happened the Year You Were Born?

And oldie, but always a goodie!

2007-01-12T15:10:00.001-05:00

Alien Song

Thursday, 1/11

2007-01-11T15:54:00.000-05:00

Back to the old grind

2007-01-08T09:45:00.000-05:00

Still working on that frickin' blanket, but getting toward the end...slowly.

It sure would have been nice to have continued to lose ½ a day since the 1st -- that would have put me at 4 lbs. down, but I'm only 1 lb. behind that so it's not so bad.

If there are any The L Word fans out there that don't get Showtime, take a look at the complete showing of episode 1 of season four, which premiered last night -- click the picture above. Or, click here.

Note that Cybill Shepard and Marlee Matlin will be joining the cast this year -- should prove to be VERY interesting.

Another meme stolen from Sandra, at her invitation to steal.

What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before?

Started a business.

Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year?

I didn't really make resolutions, per se. I have started a weight loss endeavor and we'll see where that takes me. I'm not thinking about next year, yet. It's too early.

Did anyone close to you give birth?

My youngest daughter gave birth to Ethan Michael on August 21st.

Did anyone close to you die?

Our sweet, selfless, loving Tigga. And not a day goes by that I don't miss her still.

Did you go anywhere special?

Not that I can think of, other than camping over Memorial Day weekend -- and it was a great, relaxing time.

What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?

Less drama. MUCH less drama.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Starting that business that we've talked about for so long.

Did you suffer illness or injury?

Not a bit, which makes two years running that something didn't happen over vacation that would send me to the doctor! :)

What was the best thing you bought?

Our hutch.

Where did most of your money go?

Mortgage, home equity line, Lisa's truck payments, and gas.

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The demise of 2006 -- it really, really, really sucked for me.

What song reminds you of 2006?

Just pick a theme song from any horror movie...

Compared to this time last year are you:

a. Happier or sadder?

Happier -- much of the drama is behind me.

b. Thinner or fatter?

Fatter. Way.

c. Richer or poorer?

I guess that depends on how you define rich and poor. Monetarily, a bit better off. My life as a whole is always richer with each day I have my family and Lisa.

What do you wish you’d done more of?

The things I let myself get derailed on, like gardening, fitness/bicycling, care of my home, camping, knitting, weight loss, etc.

What do you wish you’d done less of?

Letting myself get derailed.

Did you fall in love in 2006?

Every single day. I fall in love with Lisa each morning that I wake up next to her.

What was your favorite TV show?

The L Word, House, The Closer, Dexter

What was the best book you read?

The Audacity of Hope, by Barack Obama

What was your greatest musical discovery of 2006?

Nothing new, really.

What did you want and get?

A DVR -- and I wonder how I ever lived without it!

What did you want and not get?

Easy -- a winning ticket for the MegaMillions.

What was your favorite film this year?

Brokeback Mountain

What did you do on your birthday?

Nothing special -- spent a quiet day with my sweetie.

What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Lisa and I both became miserably disenchanted with our jobs -- for similar and different reasons alike. I think that some sort of passion for our jobs, and a feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction regarding how we are seen by our superiors would have had an immeasurable effect on our overall satisfaction with life in general last year.

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?

Almost nonexistent. Once upon a time, I even ironed t-shirts. Last year "close enough is good enough" became my fashion mantra.

What kept you sane?

Prozac

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Mariska Hargitay

What political issue stirred you the most?

The campaign by the right to strip the GLBT community of any semblance of rights -- we donated a lot of money to groups that are waging battles against these hatemongers.

Who did you miss?

My boss -- but I think my aim is improving. :)

Who was the best new person you met?

Kay Ann -- my father's step-sister.

It's Spring!

2007-01-05T09:43:00.000-05:00

Or, at least the dandelions, dusty miller, grape hyacinths and even our rose bushes think so.

Actually, they never died back yet. We've had a couple of really good hard frosts, but apparently it's been so warm this winter that even the hard frost couldn't kill off some of the more hardy vegetation. We actually have yellow dandelions in our yard, as well as dandelions that have gone to seed. Of course, it's 56 degrees out right now, and it's not even 10:00 a.m. They're calling for temps around 60 this afternoon, with some rain. By Monday or Tuesday we're supposed to get some cold(er) weather with the possibility of snow, but without any real accumulation. By this time next week, it's supposed to be back up into the high 40s again. In the meantime, they're calling for killer frigid temperatures in the midwest, with temps as low as -20 to -30. Some really freaky weather, eh?

I'm down another half pound this morning -- YAY!

It's my last day of vacation. Gosh two weeks have gone by fast! I'm heading down to see my aunt and uncle today, mainly because I'm sick of being "grounded" and trying to get that damned knitting done. I only have 72 more rows to go (at 300 stitches per row). It'll get done in plenty of time for the little guy's February 7th birthday so I decided I needed a break, since that's all I've done this week is knit, knit, knit.

Oh, and, wear a helmet. You never know what might fall from the sky next.

Weight loss

2007-01-04T11:07:00.000-05:00

I'm going to start each post with this little ticker. While the numbers are run together on the left side, I figure that as the little scale begins to slide to the right, those jumbled numbers will straighten themselves out. BUT, the good news is that I've lost 2 lbs. already this week -- most likely water weight.

The thing is, throughout most of my early life, I was UNDERweight.

I was a tomboy, playing every sport there was with the boys in the neighborhood, and riding my bike, and climbing trees and doing all that stuff. Throughout high school, I played every intramural sport there was, and joined the synchronized swimming team.

When I went to join the Army, there was a minimum weight requirement for my height, which was 103 lbs. I weighed only 93 lbs. The minimum was waiverable down to 98 but I still fell short. The doctor conducting the physical, most likely thinking that basic training puts weight on people, just put on the sheet that I weighed 98 lbs. (As an aside, I shudder to think of what direction my life would have taken had he not done that and I was unable to join the Army and leave that town...but that's another story.) I should mention that I took up smoking when I was 17, and that probably didn't help my weight at all.

In basic training after my true weight was discovered, my drill sergeant used to accompany me through the chow line, and load my tray with foods, and I ate every bit of them, but failed to gain any weight at all. Since she was a fairly heavy woman, I think that pissed her off that I could eat so much, and be unaffected by it.

After I completed basic training and advanced individual training, I was sent to Okinawa, Japan where I played softball "semi-professionally" for two years, until I married and became pregnant. At that point, I wore a size 3 petite. It was in this pregnant state when I broke 100 lbs. for the first time in my life. Following that pregnancy, I fell back down below 100 lbs. within a month or so and, three years later when I became pregnant again, I weighed about 98 lbs. I never saw that size 3 petite again following that second pregnancy. I was only down to a size 5 petite.

Through those years, following the births of my first two children, I continued to play softball recreationally, and as we all know, being a mother is a good physical workout anyway. I continued to smoke, which probably kept a lot of the weight off as well. My physical activity and the smoking kept my metabolism revved up quite well.

Just before I became pregnant for the third (and last) time, I was down to 88 lbs. However, during that pregnancy I gained 67.5 lbs. Since the birth of my son, I have never seen a weight below 130 lbs. Now, the thing is, 130 lbs. was about 5 lbs. heavier than I wanted to be, but that's all. I LIKED being heavier. I had curves. I had BOOBS.

For the next 15 years, my weight stayed between 130-135 lbs.

In September of 1998, I quit smoking. For good. On the day I quit, I weighed 138 lbs.

When Lisa moved in around October of 2000, I weighed 147½ lbs.

By Easter of 2004, I weighed 67½ lbs. and went on a diet and exercise program, anticipating my daughter's wedding in late August and determined not to let my ex-husband see how fat I'd gotten. By July, I had lost only 14 lbs. but was able to fit nicely into the dress I'd bought for the wedding. It was the same dress I wore for my OWN wedding in Canada that month. I was working out compulsively, riding my bike 10+ miles per day, spending 20 minutes or more on the strider, working my ass off, and had only 14 lbs. to show for it. Sure, it was just a bit above 1 lb. per week (which they say is the safest rate to lose), but I was really discouraged by how little I'd lost compared to how much I was working out.

But, during that vacation, I let myself get derailed and by the end of 2004, I was back up to 167½. It's funny, because that seemed to be the mark that didn't move for my maximum weight. 167½ -- never 168 or more.

My weight stayed steady throughout 2005 and the early parts of 2006. However, I stopped having periods after July and, between July and November, gained 13 more pounds. The GYN put me on Madroxyprogesterone for 10 days. The idea is to force a period -- and, after those 10 das, I had a period. I'm supposed to take it again if I go three months without a period again -- I'm already two months without.

I believe that the menopause is playing a huge role in the RECENT weight gain, but cannot be blamed for all of it. A large part of the weight gain comes from the smoking cessation and, while I'm healthier for not smoking, I have to stop excusing my weight and do something about it.

What's my plan?

Well, I'm not going to go into some drastic lifestyle change suddenly. It took years for this weight to put on, so I have to accept that it could take a long time (a year or two) for it to leave. That said, I started the new year by cleaning out and bagging up all of the leftover holiday goodies and sending them into work with Lisa. When I went grocery shopping yesterday, I tried to be realistic when it came to the cost of buying GOOD foods. Unfortunately, I don't think Americans are fat JUST because we're lazy. A large part of it is that the foods that are good for us are expensive, and it's cheaper to eat crap that cause us to gain weight.

I stocked up on frozen vegetables, bought some apples, bananas and clementines. I bought wheat bread and spinach pasta. We always buy very lean meat, so that isn't much of a change. I switched over to 1-a-day weight smart vitamins, so that I can continue to have good vitamins and minerals and not be deprived of anything while I try to lose weight.

I don't do well with regimented diets. I think that regimentation is a good way to set myself up for failure. That said, I like to try to ease into weight loss programs slowly.

Since the first, I've only increased my water intake and exercised better portion control. I've lost two pounds doing just that. Imagine what I can do if I actually get up and move my fat ass around!

We're having such a mild winter so far, I've decided to dust off my bike and get out on it. It's 52 degrees out right now and sunny. We're expecting rain later on, but heck, I can ride in the rain -- or at least it won't hurt me to ride in the rain. I've got a nice warm band to put around my ears (which are VERY sensitive to cold air), a good skip-proof CD player, some excellent CDs I've made for riding, so what the heck!

I have three bikes now, and I plan to take one into work and keep it in my office so I can ride the perimeter road around campus during the lunch hour (or just before it, so the traffic isn't as bad).

I plan to walk to the other side of campus to go to the bathroom. Take circular routes to go check my mail. I already park a long way away from my building -- that's so people won't ding up my vehicle with their doors.

I can do this -- I just need to stay focused.

Pat Robertson is an Idiot (and other random thoughts)

2007-01-03T09:47:00.000-05:00

Pat Robertson seems intent on spreading fear and panic throughout the nation, with his latest proclamation that God told him of a "mass killing" in 2007. He's stupid and irresponsible. In the first place, I'm pretty sure that the voices he hears aren't God's. I'm also pretty sure that, if he took some good psychotropic meds, the voices would stop and the entire nation would be that much the better for it.

I mean, how can anyone lend any credibility to a supposed evangelist who says "You say you're supposed to be nice to the Episcopalians and the Presbyterians and the Methodists and this, that, and the other thing. Nonsense. I don't have to be nice to the spirit of the Antichrist." And folks wonder why Christianity is constantly "under attack." Calling for the assassination of Chavez, If this is Christianity, I don't want any part of it. Fortunately, though, many Christians don't think in the same way that the likes of Pat Robertson, Jimmy Swaggart and Jerry Falwell do. However, one has to wonder if it's a weak mind that follows these idiots with such fervor, lending their financial support to such "worthy" causes as gold mines in Liberia, or race horses.

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Newly sworn in governor, Elliot Spitzer unveiled his administration's plans to "Renew New York," including plans to:

Implement a property tax reduction targeting the middle class.
Designate an upstate chair of the Empire State Development Corp. (ESDC) and upstate headquarters in Buffalo.
Expand state aid to distressed upstate cities and towns.
Reform mandates like Wicks Law and workers compensation laws.
Launch a universal broadband initiative to provide all of upstate with affordable, high-speed Internet service.
Develop new infrastructure projects, such as the Peace Bridge expansion in Buffalo.
Fix the state's brownfields program, which helps redevelop former industrial sites.
Provide new state assistance to small businesses.
Implement a plan that promotes outdoor activities and tourism.
Convene an emergency preparedness summit of state and local officials.
Expand aid to upstate schools.

This is a large part of why he was elected -- he looked beyond New York City and recognized that there was a whole 'nother part of the state that desperately needed attention.

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I am currently searching the web for the BEST repacement for Blogger. I want the versatility to customize the way my blog looks, as well as the ability to use HTML coding, easy formatting features, picture and video inclusion, commenting, and other user friendly (and viewer friendly) features. I am sick to death of having to log in each and every time I change a page on blogger. I'm open to any suggestions. While I have very few regrets in my life, switching over to the beta version of Blogger is a big regret. 'Nuff said.

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My condolences to one of my staff members, Eileen, for the loss of her sister. While it was expected, I'm sure that doesn't lessen the loss. Best to you, Eileen.

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Here's a picture of my new grandson, Ethan Michael, age 4 months.

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Thank you to those who asked about my little granddaughter and how she has healed since her accident. I'm happy to say that she's healed up very nicely and you can't tell by looking at her that she'd even had the accident. To borrow a line from Fried Green Tomatoes, "...there's a separate God for children."

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I am on the final run of that darned blanket I've been making for my grandson's birthday in February. With any kind of luck, it'll be done by next week around this time and I'll have a couple of weeks to literally tie up the loose ends, do some finishing work, and get it shipped out to him in time for his February 7th birthday, when he'll be four already.

Joe bought me a "how to" video on crocheting, and I believe that this skill will help finish off some knitted projects very nicely, once I figure out how to hold the frickin' yarn and let things flow smoothly.

Lisa asked me last night what I was going to make next, and I barked "I'm not doing any f***ing knitting for at least three months after this!" She nodded her head and said "Mmm hmm, sure Pat." She's probably right!

Idgie has been completely spoiled having me home for the past two weeks. She sits on my lap, or at my side while I knit, and sleeps her days away. When I'm not paying any attention to her, she walks around the house meowing. All I have to do is say "Here I am, baby!" and she comes running. Gonna be hard for her to adjust to me going back to work. Heck, it's going to be hard for ME to adjust to me going back to work!

But, the Mega Millions lottery is up to $100+ million - I think I'll buy a ticket and wish fervently.

Holiday recap

2007-01-02T14:38:00.000-05:00

Well, things have finally settled down enough for me to take a breather, before I go back to work, and assess the holidays.

From the NEVER A DULL MOMENT file:

December 22 (Friday) at 1:30 a.m. our phone rings. Now, as we all know, a phone ringing in the middle of the night is NEVER a good thing. Not only that, but one tends to awaken disoriented and unsure of what has roused them -- Lisa and I stared stupidly at each other in the dark, both wondering why the alarm sounded so funny, and why it was going off in the middle of the night.

Because the cordless phone in our bedroom is a piece of shit (to put it mildly) we cannot answer the phone in our room and, in the darkness, I was unable to see the button on the answering machine that would allow me to pick up on the speaker phone. The phone fell silent and almost instantaneously, my cell phone began to chirp out in the living room. Running naked through the living room, I snatched up the phone and ran back to the bedroom -- without my glasses on, I was unable to see who was calling.

It was my Aunt Wanda, sobbing and near hysterics. Her daughter, Robin, whom she was expecting in at the airport later that day, was apparently already AT the airport, and had been waiting to be picked up since 7:00 p.m. Robin is mildly mentally challenged and lives in a group home out in Connecticut and, each Christmas, her sisters pay for her to fly to spend Christmas with her mother and father. While Lisa spoke with my Aunt Wanda, I answered the phone that began to ring insistently again. It was my cousin, Peggy, calling to give me the information on how Robin could be picked up. They had paid for an escort, but the escort just dropped Robin off at baggage claim, and left.

You see, I live only a mile from the airport, and my aunt and uncle live 65 miles away from it. It only made sense for me to go to the airport to fetch Robin. And so, at 2:00 a.m., I was backing out of the driveway to go to the airport to get Robin. I told my aunt and uncle to just stay put and come collect Robin later in the morning, as I would just bring her to my house, feed her something (she'd had no dinner) and put her to bed here.

We got back home at 2:20 and, as we came into the house, the smell of eggs greeted us. Lisa had gotten up, gotten the bed in the spare bedroom made, and was fixing eggs and toast for Robin. After she finished eating, we got Robin settled into bed and I was back in bed, exhausted, by 3:00.

I was at work by 7:30, anxiously watching the clock, waiting for noon so I could go home. Our new hutch was being delivered. We weren't expecting it until mid-January so getting it just before Christmas was a hugely welcome surprise. And, it was all that we had hoped it would be. We unpacked Lisa's grandmother's china and put it in one side, mine in the other, added our Willow Tree Collection figurines, some Christmas decoration, and there it was -- magnificent!

Saturday we moved the couch and recliner from the upstairs living room down into the family room, in order to make room for the dining tables that would accommodate our ten family members that would be present for dinner Christmas Day.

Michelle and the girls arrived in the early evening and we set to work decorating stockings and frosting cookies. The kids used M&Ms, sprinkles, mini-peanut butter cups, candy canes, and chocolate bells. We got the two little ones into bed around 10:00 and let Vanessa help with the Santa stuff before we all fell exhausted into bed around midnight.

Christmas morning broke with everyone sleeping until just about 8:00 -- major bonus there! Lisa put on some Kona coffee and the kids leisurely went through their stockings. Then, in our sweats, pajamas and bad bed hair, we opened present after present after present, listening to the squeals of pleasure from the girls, and from Lisa when she opened her laser-guided circular saw.

Tuckered out after the excitement of Christmas morning, Joe dropped off to sleep, dreaming of Playstation games, new clothes, and bartender aids.

Since Christmas day, it's been quiet and restful. Joe and Taylor headed out to Connecticut on Tuesday and just got home last night. Lisa worked only two days last week, and spent much of her time off relaxing as well.

New Years Eve we lit a fire in the fireplace, settled in downstairs in the family room to watch television and drink champagne and welcome in the new year. Like any typical male, Simba was crashed in the recliner, looking like the alpha male who would likely demand a beer, his slippers, and a smoke.

I started a weight loss program yesterday, looking to lose as much as 60 lbs. Wish me luck.

And here's a wish for all of you -- may your new year see much happiness, health, luck, and resolution to some of the drama that you've lived through.

Me? I'm hoping for a drastically reduced level of drama.

2006 in review

2006-12-28T14:21:00.000-05:00

This won't be a year that I'll be sad to see go. It's been a drama-filled year, full of twists and turns not unlike an old, rickety, wooden roller coaster.

Sandra has challenged her readers to list 10 things they've learned this year, and I'm going to see if I can't rise to that challenge -- and then some.

Hating the sin but loving the sinner is difficult. No matter how much we want to kid ourselves into believing that we still love the sinner, it's still an enormous stretch to hold firmly to that belief. Human nature would dictate that we hate the sinners, on some level, BECAUSE of the sin.
Leaving the door open, without restrictions, continually invites them to step through and, eventually, they do.
While I will never be ready for my son to leave home, I realize it's time for him to go out on his own and make his own way.
While it may seem that leopards can, in fact, change their spots, it's an illusion -- a fancy bit of camouflage.
Charmin Ultra does not fit on the toilet paper roller.
No matter how much you want to, you can't make someone happy who is so immersed in their own unhappiness as to make it a way of life. Do not tolerate or otherwise enable their negativity and unhappiness -- like laughter, anger and negativity are infectious.
Artichokes aren't so bad after all.
Shit floats to the top. Just take a look around.
It's not foolish to consider your pets to be of the same caliber friend or family member as their human counterparts and the loss of those pets is no less than the loss of their human counterparts. We miss you terribly, Tig.
Just because some people are users, not everyone is. For everyone out there that will use you and make you feel bad, there are dozens more that will treat you with dignity, respect, and human compassion.
Family is important -- even the uncles that nobody likes to talk about (or brothers...or parents...or...).
The quality of my life improves exponentially with each day that I have Lisa in it. I like the person I am with her love. But my life doesn't just stop there, and each day that a new person enters into my life, whether I choose to believe it or not, they shape my future and affect how I see the world and the people in it.
Knapp Jammin' Strawberry wine tastes like ass and, even when mixed as a "spritzer," it tastes like an ass spritzer.
Pot holders and oven mitts are not meant to merely accessorize the colors in a kitchen.
Children are a lot tougher than we give them credit for and every adult could take a lesson in toughness from a 5-year-old.
Old comfortable sneakers eventually stop providing support. Sometimes, no matter how much we love them, we have to step out of them and into a new pair.
Menopause sucks, but will eventually end.
Even though this year will finally end, it's impact and lessons will live on.

I've had a wonderful period of time off and am looking forward to eleven more days yet. I have had the privilege of having Lisa at home with me for five of the last seven days and, when my 16 days off end, I'll have had the privilege of having her home with me for eleven of them.

Hope your final days of the year are peaceful and joyous, and that the new year brings peace, prosperity, and a host of new (good) lessons.

2006-12-21T09:01:00.000-05:00

After today, only one more day to go, and I'm done for sixteen, yes SIXTEEN wonderful days to myself. Out of those sixteen days, I get Lisa for five of them, consecutively over Christmas, and 4 or 5 over New Years as well. I'm psyched. I adore time off with her. While we get a LOT of "us" time, I never seem to get tired of it.

Michelle and the girls will be up on Christmas Eve day, and will spend the night. Since Michelle and Doug have split, and are maintaining separate households, and Michelle JUST got a job (after having spent the last two years going to college), Christmas wasn't viable for them. Michelle had her power turned off because she couldn't pay the bill. I told her she had to bring the kids up and we'd make sure they had a good Christmas.

This is what happens when you get your Christmas shopping done early and gloat about it!

I promised steak for dinner Christmas Eve, and Lisa wants to do cookies with the girls (not sure who the biggest kid is there...) We have some Christmas DVDs that might be fun to set up with the fireplace going later after dinner. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is Lisa's absolute favorite. The guy at the left, Yukin Cornelius, is her "hero." Him being a redhead and all, I suppose is why she loves him so. I cannot truly articulate how childlike she is about Christmas. She brings the fun and magic back somewhat.

Then there's Polar Express, that came out last year or so. We ordered it on Pay-per-view and just loved it, and I'm now in the hunt for it for Christmas Eve. I think the kids (big and small) will thoroughly enjoy it. View the trailer -- it's awesome.

Finally, you've probably seen this already, but I never get tired of seeing this Christmas light show -- I think the music is by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. I just think it's very cool.

I'm not sure, but this could be my last entry for the year, depending on what I get into (or don't) while on vacation. Have the best of times with your friends and family, and have a wonderful holiday season.

Sugar Hangover

2006-12-18T09:07:00.000-05:00

I woke up yesterday morning with what can only be a sugar hangover.

We drove down to PA Friday afternoon and went out to dinner with Lisa's parents just shortly after we got there. We had a pleasant evening and helped Lisa's mother pack some stuff in their motor home, as they were going to leave for Florida Sunday morning.

Saturday we helped pack some more and, around noontime, Lisa's mother ordered steak and cheese subs for lunch. We each had a half-sub and I think I had a Squirt or some sort of lemon-lime drink. Then we went over to Lisa's grandparents' to say hello and, by 5:00 were at Lisa's sister's house to help set up for the Christmas gathering. It was to be a "dessert" gathering, since it was agreed that putting on a dinner was just too much work. I was starting to feel a little hungry, since I'd only had that half sub, but pressed on with the preparations.

Family began arriving about 6:30, and the table began to fill with cheesecakes, "ultimate" chocolate cake, brownies, pretzels, cookies, M&Ms, carrot cake, and even a "fruit pizza." A chocolate fountain was running, with cookies, fruit, and other items surrounding it. Fruit punch, pop and some sort of fruit chai was also available. A veritable cornucopia of sugar.

And I knew better, I really did.

But, I was starving and, even though I didn't eat all that much, my subconscious told me that this was as close to a meal as I was going to get that night.

I had a cupcake sized mini-cherry-cheesecake. I had a piece of carrot cake but didn't eat the too-rich cream cheese frosting. I had a handful of pretzels, dipped in that chocolate fountain. A handful of M&Ms with peanuts (needed protein, right?). Some milanos (cookies). Some fruit punch. Some fresh strawberries. Some pineapple. A couple of slices of apple. A cup of coffee.

I felt queasy by the time we fell into bed at a little after 1:30 AM.

Lisa's father came and woke us up yesterday morning at 7:00, asking Lisa to help her mother with the packing/loading. Lisa poured us coffee -- fully caffeinated. We usually only drink half-caffeinated. My head was raging. I felt disoriented. My eyes hurt. My head felt like a helium balloon. My heart was racing. I felt flush.

At 10:00, as Lisa's parents pulled out of the driveway in their motor home, on their way to Florida, I told Lisa "I have to have some REAL food, and soon." We went back into the house and Lisa called her sister to tell her that Mom and Dad had left, and Diane invited us over for breakfast. Ten minutes later, Lisa was fixing fried egg, cheese and English muffin sandwiches for us. I ate mine very slowly, at Lisa's insistence. She was concerned.

Our plan for the day was to go and see Lisa's grandparents (always a highlight of our trip). So, she called them to see when they were going to go for their weekly Sunday lunch at a local restaurant. They had been waiting to hear from us to see when we were going to come see them, and invited us to have lunch with them. Twenty minutes later, we were ordering lunch, having just had breakfast forty minutes earlier. I had a BLT wrap -- didn't want anything heavy.

We said goodbye to Lisa's grandparents around 2:00 and set off for home. I was still a tad disoriented, but was feeling a whole lot better, having had as much protein as I did. We stopped off to see my Aunt Wanda and Uncle Bob on the way back, at around 4:00, and were home by 6:30 -- just in time to watch the tail end of the day's late football games.

I'm tellin' ya -- I've never done anything like that before and I'm positive I'm never going to do anything like that again. My system has spent the day today sort of flushing itself out. I don't mind saying that I feel like I've been shot at and missed, and shit at and hit.

Anyway, we had a great time with Lisa's family but it's always good to be back home.

We fell into bed last night and that's the last thing I knew before the alarm went off this morning.

I have just this week to work, then we're shut down for the week after Christmas, and I'm taking the first week of January off.

Michelle and the kids will be up Sunday night to spend Christmas Eve with us. It's sort of unexpected (they're spending the night) so we have to scramble around and get some "santa" stuff for the kids, but it'll be fun.

Heavy work week -- final exams and final grades to get done. Then it comes to a screeching, grinding halt until classes start back up the day after Martin Luther King, Jr. day.

Hopefully I'll be up for air from time to time.

As long as there's no sugar in it...

Help me, I'm drowning!

2006-12-14T15:31:00.000-05:00

It's the end of the semester, next week is final exam week AND final grades week, I'm flying solo, and everyone needs shit done NOW!

I continue to work with the "8 to 4 and out the door" mentality as I cannot bring myself to care enough to stay until things get done. If they don't get done, they don't get done. The Division VP and his cronies made the decision to leave my staff position out front vacant, without giving me the benefit of consultation, and having done so behind closed doors. I've been flying solo for nearly two years now.

I refuse to stay one minute past quitting time, which has left some of the faculty with knots in their knickers but I continue to suggest to them that they call and complain -- not to me, but to the decision makers.

I'm frustrated and just can't get myself to give two shits about anything other than when I'm taking the next day off, or how close the weekend is. While I'd like to kid myself into believing that, as long as I'm here, I'm giving 100%, I think the reality is that, if you're not happy with your job, you sure as hell aren't giving 100%.

Lisa has similar frustrations at work and, while I'm pretty much locked into my job, she's not with hers. She applied at the Home Depot (three stores) night before last. We did the math and, if she doesn't have to drive halfway across the county to work, she can make $2/hour less than she does right now, and still break even. It's a good incentive to aggressively pursue other employment.

I say I'm locked into my job because I figure I'm officially at the age where I'm too old to get a new job and be able to expect any sort of meaningful retirement benefit from it. While the mandatory participation in the state retirement program ended this month for me, my employer still contributes to my retirement. Hard(er) to walk away from than someone in Lisa's position, making hourly wages just above what my son makes at the garden center, no raises in 5 years, health benefits cut in half, and no contributions to her profit sharing plan in the past 5 years. If she walks away, she's 100% vested in just over $3000 for eight years' worth of loyal dedication. That's not even enough to pay off her truck, so it's negligible.

We leave tommorrow for Pennsylvania for the weekend. Lisa's family has Christmas the Saturday before the actual holiday, so everyone is free to do what they want on the actual holiday, with less stressors regarding who wants their time and where. Leaving at lunch time, and will get there around dinner time.

After that, it's just next week, then that's it until after the first of the year -- I'm taking the first week in January off, too. Hopefully I'll be able to get that darned blanket finished up, once and for all! I won't likely post much during that time, as I try to make it a point to not be on the computer so much at home, but I'll still be reading your blogs and commenting, from time to time.

Sorry everyone's having such a hard time with comments on the beta version. Second biggest mistake of my life, switching over to the beta version. If I didn't have so much time and "stuff" invested here, I'd seriously consider moving to another provider.

And may still........

Devil-Man Speak With Forked Tongue

2006-12-11T08:06:00.000-05:00

It would seem that yet another Republican hypocrite has been "outed." Oh, I don't mean "outed" as in discovering he's gay, I mean "outed" as in having said one thing to garner support from a specific voter base, and then done another.

In 1994, while opposing Senator Kennedy in Massachusetts for a seat in the Senate, now-outgoing Mass. governor Mitt Romney apparently showed quite another side where same-sex couples, and the GLBT community is concerned.

You may (or may not) remember that just after the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ordered same-sex marriages to begin in Mass., Romney dusted off and invoked an old 1913 law that had not been used in almost 100 years to prevent same-sex couples from outside the state from getting married. He has consistently, at every turn, fought against any positive strides the GBLT community has made toward equality. Most recently, he has asked the state's highest court to order the legislature back into session to vote on an anti-gay-marriage measure that, if passed, would be put to the voters in 2008. It seems Mr. Romney was pissed off that they adjourned without addressing the issue, even though they're technically still in session until the first of January.

Now, it has come out that in a 1994 interview with a Boston gay publication, Bay Window, Mr. Romney said, "People of integrity don't force their beliefs on others, they make sure that others can live by different beliefs they may have," Romney told Bay Windows a dozen years ago when the paper interviewed him on LGBT civil rights."
In more remarks in that interview:

He told Bay Windows that he opposed "extremists" who were trying to impose their positions on the Republican Party and that he believed marriage was a state issue.

He tied his willingness to advocate for the rights of gay people, Bay Windows reports, to the Mormon concept of “free agency”.

When I speak of free agency, I don’t just mean that each person can do what they want to do, I mean that our society should allow people to make their own choices and live by their own beliefs,” he told the paper.

In the 1994 interview he said that supported then President Bill Clinton’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy but said that “I believe that there will be change over time as the military establishment and the rank and file become more comfortable with the realities of sexual orientation in the military.”

Romney went on to say “I will support progress being made in that area as time progresses and the military and society becomes more accepting.”

Of course, now that he's making a Presidential run and trying to gain favor with the ultra conservative Republican base, he presents a different front with regards to same-sex marriage and GLBT rights.

Last year, as he was beginning to seek support for a presidential bid he delivered a speech to a GOP audience in South Carolina that not only opposed gay marriage but also civil unions "from day one.''
"Today, same-sex couples are marrying under the law in Massachusetts,'' Romney told the crowd. "Some are actually having children born to them,'' he continued.

"It's not right on paper. It's not right in fact. Every child has the right to have a mother and a father.''

Once this interview had been republished by Bay Window, the Log Cabin Republicans released a letter written to them by Mr. Romney in his campaign for Senate in 1994.

The 1994 letter was written to the Log Cabin Club of Massachusetts, a gay Republican group, when Romney was courting gay voters during his unsuccessful campaign against Kennedy.

Citing Kennedy's record of advocacy for gays and lesbians, Romney wrote, ''For some voters, it might be enough to simply match my opponent's record in this area. But I believe we can and must do better. If we are to achieve the goals we share, we must make equality for gays and lesbians a mainstream concern.''

I think these revelations beg the question of which Mitt Romney people would be voting for, f they were inclined to do so -- the one that says what they want to hear, or the one who makes a name for himself by what he does? While there is no way in Hell I would have thought (then OR now) that Al Gore would have made an effective President, it galls me that conservatives such as Romney used the terms "flip-flop, waffle," an other terms to describe what appeared to be Gore's inability to stand firm on an issue.

One conservative, from the Free Congress Foundation points out:

"Unless he comes out with an abject repudiation of this, I think it makes him out to be a hypocrite,” Weyrich said. "And if he totally repudiates this, you have to ask, on what grounds?”

Indeed. And I think that is a question that absolutely MUST be answered.

In an op-ed piece in the Salt Lake Tribune, Romney is exposed as a right wing panderer, willing to sell his soul to the devil in order to win the ultimate prize.

It's like turning a ballerina into a right-leaning elephant.

Romney, who is a staunch opponent of illegal immigration, claims he was unaware that several of the workers employed by Community Lawn Service with a Heart to take care of the grounds at his suburban home were illegal immigrants. While I can certainly understand being caught off guard under NORMAL circumstances in this type of situation, it would seem that someone so staunchly against illegal immigration would insure, beyond any doubts, that a company with predominantly Hispanic workers, would be on the up-and-up as far as immigration law. If you're going to go public against something, as a public figure, you mke sure that little details like this are checked out.

Let's hope that the Republican party can see through this guy (and if they can't, they're in some real trouble) and show him the door before too many tax dollars are spent in a fruitless campaign for this putz.

More fun stuff

2006-12-07T10:15:00.000-05:00

Took this quiz this morning -- the thing is, I learned most of the stuff on the quiz AFTER school (which was when I paid attention more).

You paid attention during 74% of high school!

68-84% Pretty good, you know that there are libraries and newspapers, and you remember what you've read. You were a child that wasn't left behind!

Do you deserve your high school diploma?
Create a Quiz

This one explains a lot about some of my previous relationships...

What type of person do you attract? Your Result: You attract unstable people! Congrats, you are an 'insane' magnet, and you probably have no idea why. Something about your mix of styles, how you walk not just 'one' lifestyle, but appear to have a foot in them all. To the insane, you appear to be a beacon of hope and they will flock to you, like it or not. But, they ARE insane. Lucky for you, the insane tend to be the best sexual lovers, just the rest of the package deal may not be for you.
You attract artsy people!
You attract rednecks!
You attract geeks!
You attract models!
You attract Yuppies!
What type of person do you attract? Quizzes for MySpace

I ♥ my books!

What Kind of Reader Are You? Your Result: Literate Good Citizen You read to inform or entertain yourself, but you're not nerdy about it. You've read most major classics (in school) and you have a favorite genre or two.
Dedicated Reader
Book Snob
Fad Reader
Obsessive-Compulsive Bookworm
Non-Reader
What Kind of Reader Are You? Create Your Own Quiz

Hmmmm..........

Your score on this personality test was 59%

Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

Personality Quiz
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Don't ever get this drunk...

How's this for flexibility? I'm thinking this could come in handy in the...er..."private" room.

Finally...and they say women are the "weaker" sex.

Dyke the Halls extra

2006-12-05T08:35:00.000-05:00

As promised, here's the video of the rockin' reindeer.

If clicking on the video doesn't work, try clicking here.

This is a picture of the Christmas tree skirt I bought as well. The picture doesn't really do it justice, but hopefully you can get a good idea of just how whimsical it is.

I brought stuff in to work today to decorate the office.

I'll tell you a secret -- Lisa's childlike love of Christmas is contagious...

Caught Simba grooming the little one last night -- they're the best of buddies and it's just so cute to see them this way. When she's ready to settle down for a nap and he's already laying down, she snuggles right up with him, he grooms her, and they both nap.

Finally, a Christmas meme from sassyfemme:

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Hot chocolate. Egg nog is...........EWWW!

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? Depends on the size. Larger items sit under the tree unwrapped, smaller items get wrapped.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? Mostly colored. But some inside decorating is with just white lights.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Nope.

5. When do you put your decorations up? Sometime after the first of December.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Whatever is on my plate at the moment -- which explains the rather large derriere I sit on.

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: Going to my grandparents' house. Even now, 25 years after losing them, Christmas just doesn't seem the same. But, I try to make Christmas for my own grandchildren just as special a tradition as my own grandmother did.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? My mother, in a fit of anger one day, told us. I was devastated.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Even as a kid, we were allowed to open one gift Christmas Eve. It's a tradition I've held over with my own kids.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? Our tree is a sort of family history. There are all sorts of things that the kids made over the years in school, along with new priceless works of art from the grandkids. There are blue "blobs," paper doilies with school pictures pasted inside, glass unicorns received one year for Christmas, Buffalo Bills ornaments, wooden craft figures hand painted or decorated during Christmas camp, all sorts of wonderful memorabilia. And they're beautiful! Also, since Lisa and I have been together, we've gotten into the practice of buying an ornament each year that best represents the theme of the year.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? UGH! Hate shoveling it. Hate driving in it. Hate cleaning it off the car. BUT, I love the looks of it after a fresh snowfall, clinging to the trees and ground and with the sun sparkling off it.

12. Can you ice skate? *I* can, it's my feet that can't.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? My Thumbelina doll when I was five.

14. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Family.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? See response to #6.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? The youngest member of the family present when the tree goes up puts the tree topper on. These days, Uncle Joe has to lift one of the little ones up to reach it. We always play Christmas music and light the fireplace when the tree goes up

17. What tops your tree? A popsicle stick star, with little poofy balls at the end of each stick -- made some 20 years ago by my little boy.

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? I really enjoy giving gifts to other people. I've always felt a bit self-conscious about receiving gifts, always afraid I'm not going to react appropriately for the gift-giver.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? O Holy Night.

Dyke the Halls

2006-12-04T14:37:00.000-05:00

It's started.

That Christmas spirit is creeping in.

Saturday morning we stayed in bed until after 10:00, just snuggling, dozing, chatting softly. We talked about how nice it would be to have a tree upstairs where we sit and watch television.

We got up, relaxed over coffee, then made the decision to go look for a smallish, slim, artificial tree. There were some other things we needed/wanted to pick up as well, so it was a good time to just get out and go.

We checked out the Big K near our house but didn't find anything that floated our boats. We did, however, find some cute stuff for my newest grandson and I picked up a couple of nice sweaters for myself. We thought maybe Big Lots was a good place to look for something inexpensive and, while we were right about inexpensive, everything they had was pre-lit with white lights. I like the colors, and want no part of a pre-lit tree.

We went over to the Home Depot and found a nice 7½ foot slim tree, not pre-lit. We also found one of those "One Touch" adjustable wrenches for my Uncle Bob. I got one for Lisa a couple of months ago and was really psyched to find the one for my Uncle.

We got home and unloaded the stuff from my RAV4 and got some lunch. Lisa got out the pieces and parts to the tree and said to me "Why don't you go down to KMart and get some decorations and lights and garlands -- you know what we want."

So, off I went, unsupervised, to KMart.

Let's just say I spent more for the decorations and stuff than we did on the tree itself.

But I have to make a confession -- I fell for something so whimsical and dorky, it'll surprise anyone that knows me.

I was walking up and down the aisles, perusing the ornaments and garlands and bows and candles, and found this cute little stuffed reindeer sitting in a rocking chair. It was about 15-18" high. By itself, it was adorable and I thought "This would look cute under the tree just as a decoration." Upon closer inspection, I saw the telltale "press me" pad on his paw, so I set it on the floor and obliged.

The reindeer shifted forward in the rocker, then back, making it rock and the familiar chorus of "Grandma got run over by a reindeer" filled the aisle. I howled. I laughed so hard people began to look at me oddly -- but I couldn't help it, lost in the moment, I just laughed and laughed and laughed. A woman came upon me and said "Someone is having fun," and all I could do was laugh and point at the object of my amusement. Soon, the two of us were standing there sharing raucous laughter at the reindeer throwing itself forward and backward in that rocking chair.

Yes. I bought it.

I also found a nice, whimsical tree skirt that I just cannot describe, but also can't upload a picture for (as blogger doesn't seem to have that feature enabled today).

When I arrived home with my purchases, I excitedly told Lisa "You have to see this!" and placed that rocking reindeer on the laminate floor and pressed his paw. He began his song and his rocking, eliciting more peals of laughter from me, while Lisa rolled her eyes, shook her head, and looked at me sadly as I recounted my trip to the store. As the reindeer rocked and sang, the cats circled cautiously around it, tentatively walked toward it with their noses out, and then backed away -- much to my continued amusement and laughter.

We got the tree trimmed and are quite pleased with its appearance. And yes, the rockin' reindeer has a place under the lower bows.

And I'll take a video of the reindeer and a picture of the tree and the skirt, as soon as I can figure out why there's no photo upload links displaying here. (Anyone else have this problem?)

Random

2006-11-30T08:58:00.000-05:00

Today is payday and my check is just shy of $100 heavier.

When our union agreed with our employer on a new contract last year, the agreement contained language that would collect our "voluntary" deductions over 24 pay periods instead of our typical bi-weekly (or 26) time frame. Since this month had 5 Thursdays in it, this was the month that we didn't have that money collected. It's nice, since it's so close to the holidays.

I was also informed by Payroll that this will be the last check that the mandatory state retirement contribution will be collected. It's mandatory for 10 years and I've been in the plan 10 years next pay period (I've been here at the college for 12½ years, though). That will be another $50 (minus taxes) I'll be getting, too. It's like getting a pay raise.

We had record high temperatures yesterday, near record highs on Tuesday, and will have near record highs today as well. It got up to 69 yesterday and, as I write this at 9:00 AM, it's 65 degrees.

I went grocery shopping last night and saw that they already have their Christmas hams on "sale" for $1.99/lb. It's too early, isn't it? Maybe not.

I've had a bit of Christmas music in the stereo to mix with the regular music. We have a 60-CD changer and put it on shuffle all the time. It's nice to have the Christmas music only occasionally. One of the pieces that I particularly love is Kenny G's Auld Lang Syne, Millenium Edition. I also love the Mannheim Steamroller Christmas albums. And, of course, Yanni's Snowfall.

Did you ever have moods where you only want to hear specific types of music? I have a Time Life collection of 70s singers and songwriters and lately, it seems that's all I want to hear. Jim Croce, John Denver, Joan Baez, The Moody Blues, Anne Murray, Carole King. It sure takes me back quite a way, but to a time when I was self-destructive and unhappy with myself and my life. I've come a long way -- perhaps the music is a reminder of that.

I'm suffering from a bit of anxiety over my father. While he remains in prison, he's receiving virtually no medical care that is adequate or appropriate. When he was taken to a regional medical center for a vascular consultation, he saw an anesthesiologist student/intern. His blood pressure has ranged from dangerously low to dangerously high and his blood pressure meds are administered inconsistently, at best. He was told in mid-September that an order for an MRI on his aorta had been placed, yet nothing has come from that order. In the meantime, his foot grows worse and worse, without any treatment at all. His becoming more and more alarmed by the fact that he had been told that, if it gets bad enough, they'll amputate it. He's afraid that the mindset is that letting it get bad to the point of needing amputation is cost effective for the department of corrections. I'm lost as to what I can do, if anything.

Like I said -- no New Year Resolution, just a New Year wish. One year, no drama.

Interesting Meme

2006-11-28T11:20:00.000-05:00

Here's an interesting meme from Sandra.

Here's a list of the top 100 banned books. I'm not convinced this list is correct, though – why on earth would anyone have banned Little House On The Prairie??? Anyway, bold the ones you've read. Italicize the ones you've read part of. Underline the ones you want to read. Read more. Convince others to read some. Tell me if I've missed out by not reading some of these.

#1 The Bible
#2 Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
#3 Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes
#4 The Koran
#5 Arabian Nights
#6 Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
#7 Gulliver’s Travels by Jonathan Swift
#8 Canterbury Tales by Geoffrey Chaucer
#9 Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
#10 Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman
#11 The Prince by Niccolò Machiavelli
#12 Uncle Tom’s Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
#13 Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank
#14 Madame Bovary by Gustave Flaubert
#15 Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens
#16 Les Misérables by Victor Hugo
#17 Dracula by Bram Stoker
#18 Autobiography by Benjamin Franklin
#19 Tom Jones by Henry Fielding
#20 Essays by Michel de Montaigne
#21 Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
#22 History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by EdwardGibbon
#23 Tess of the D’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
#24 Origin of Species by Charles Darwin
#25 Ulysses by James Joyce
#26 Decameron by Giovanni Boccaccio
#27 Animal Farm by George Orwell
#28 Nineteen Eighty-Four by George Orwell
#29 Candide by Voltaire
#30 To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
#31 Analects by Confucius
#32 Dubliners by James Joyce
#33 Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
#34 Farewell to Arms by Ernest Hemingway
#35 Red and the Black by Stendhal
#36 Das Capital by Karl Marx
#37 Flowers of Evil by Charles Baudelaire
#38 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
#39 Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D. H. Lawrence
#40 Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
#41 Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser
#42 Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
#43 Jungle by Upton Sinclair
#44 All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque
#45 Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx
#46 Lord of the Flies by William Golding
#47 Diary by Samuel Pepys
#48 Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway
#49 Jude the Obscure by Thomas Hardy
#50 Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
#51 Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak
#52 Critique of Pure Reason by Immanuel Kant
#53 One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey
#54 Praise of Folly by Desiderius Erasmus
#55 Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
#56 Autobiography of Malcolm X by Malcolm X
#57 Color Purple by Alice Walker
#58 Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
#59 Essay Concerning Human Understanding by John Locke
#60 Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
#61 Moll Flanders by Daniel Defoe
#62 One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
#63 East of Eden by John Steinbeck
#64 Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
#65 I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
#66 Confessions by Jean Jacques Rousseau
#67 Gargantua and Pantagruel by François Rabelais
#68 Leviathan by Thomas Hobbes
#69 The Talmud
#70 Social Contract by Jean Jacques Rousseau
#71 Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
#72 Women in Love by D. H. Lawrence
#73 American Tragedy by Theodore Dreiser
#74 Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler
#75 Separate Peace by John Knowles
#76 Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
#77 Red Pony by John Steinbeck
#78 Popol Vuh
#79 Affluent Society by John Kenneth Galbraith
#80 Satyricon by Petronius
#81 James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
#82 Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
#83 Black Boy by Richard Wright
#84 Spirit of the Laws by Charles de Secondat Baron de Montesquieu
#85 Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut
#86 Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
#87 Metaphysics by Aristotle
#88 Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder
#89 Institutes of the Christian Religion by Jean Calvin
#90 Steppenwolf by Hermann Hesse
#91 Power and the Glory by Graham Greene
#92 Sanctuary by William Faulkner
#93 As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
#94 Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin
#95 Sylvester and the Magic Pebble by William Steig
#96 Sorrows of Young Werther by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
#97 General Introduction to Psychoanalysis by Sigmund Freud
#98 Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
#99 Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee by Dee Alexander Brown
#100 Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess

OK, so, how about you?

Post-Thanksgiving Post

2006-11-28T08:18:00.000-05:00

I quit my job at Joann Fabrics. My first day of work was a Sunday and I spent the 5 hours unloading boxes, putting the product in bins on carts, and taking the carts out to other team members who stocked the shelves. I had a great time, it was good physical activity, and was exactly what I'd wanted to do. The next day, when I reported to work, I was told I'd be trained on the registers because that was where they needed me most. As I explained in an earlier post, I had signed on to do stock. Not registers. Not taking shit from 90 year old ladies who think the item should have rung up on sale when it didn't. I do enough of that at my full time job that pays nearly four times as much. I told the store manager I didn't sign on to do registers, and she insisted that this was what she wanted me to do. I told her I neither needed the job nor the money and that I really wasn't up for being snookered into doing something I didn't want to do. And at minimum wage, no less. So, I quit.

We really had a great holiday weekend. Michelle and Doug and the kids came up (they drove separately, as they're separated). Cher was finally able to eat after her accident more than 6 weeks ago, and that little girl ate and ate and ate. Annie did too! We were amazed at how much those two little munchkins ate. Of course, Michelle informs me that Annie lost her Thanksgiving dinner later that night. No huge surprise there.

My aunt and uncle came up as well. It was a nice, manageable 10 people, counting the three kids. We put on soft background music like Yanni, Enya, Mannheim Steamroller, Celtic Moods, etc. and put on a DVD of a fire in a fireplace. Yes, I'm a dork. But, in a 36" television with the music and soft lighting, it really did create a nice ambience.

Friday, like I promised myself and Lisa, I sat and knitted and watched television. I got ten rows done on little Brandon's blanket. While that may not sound like much, it is when you consider that each row is 296 stitches. I watched a few shows that we had on the DVR and the Terminator Trilogy. Lisa went to the Home Depot and got mouldings and other supplies that she needed to finish off the mouldings in the living room and the trim around the fireplace. Once that's done, the upstairs will be completely finished. We tend to take a long time to get things accomplished, as we wait until we have the cash to do it rather than run up debt. This causes Lisa a bit of stress and anxiety but she likes that we're not in debt doing this stuff.

Once we get the upstairs done, we'll tackle the downstairs family room, but that won't happen until after the holidays are over. We still have a lot of paint left over from when we did the entryway and decided that it would transition beautifully into the downstairs family room, so we won't have to fret over colors and cost. There's more than enough there to get that room and the ceiling done.

Saturday we went down to one of my staff member's house to help them finish putting the roof on a shed they'd bought, but were unable to complete. Of course, we were there as GoldMar Enterprises, not Pat and Lisa. It took us just a couple of hours to complete the task and we decided to swing by the mall as it was only noon and we had some things we wanted to look for. We knew we were taking a huge chance, but ended up being amazed at the lack of traffic and crowds. I kept looking around in the mall asking Lisa "Where is everyone?"

After the mall, we went across the street to a new furniture store that just opened up. We've been browsing a bit, without much intent to buy -- we're not ready for that yet. However, we came across a china hutch that Lisa just fell in love with. I have to admit that I was very taken with it as well. We gingerly looked at the price and found that, while it certainly was a lot of money, it was still reasonably priced enough that I began to do the math in my head. Lisa just kept looking at it, and oohing and aahing and I told her "We can get it if you want it." We left without it, but she kept talking about it. She really was very taken with it -- moreso than I've ever seen her with any other piece of furniture.

We got home and did some light housework, fixed an early dinner of leftovers, and settled in for some relaxation.

Sunday Lisa putzed around some more with cutting and staining more mouldings while I worked on the books for our business. At one-o'clock, I was sitting in front of the four televisions watching football, knitting in my lap, Idgie at my side.

All in all, it was a nice, long weekend. Good food. Family. Relaxation.

Yesterday after work, I went back to the furniture store and bought the china hutch. It is on back order and not due in before mid-January, but that's okay with me because that gives Lisa ample time to get the finishing touches put in on the flooring and mouldings. I put $1000 down on the hutch and got the remainder "financed" at zero percent for one year. (Note to self -- be sure to thank that putz ex-husband of yours for that nice, lump sump payment of child support arrears.) I knew there was no way I was going to "surprise" Lisa at Christmas with this hutch, and didn't want it to be HER Christmas present -- I wanted it to be OURS (I'm selfish that way). So, when she got home, I showed her the sales contract.

Let me tell you, I have never, ever seen Lisa dance like a little kid with excitement the way she did last night. She was just beyond ecstatic and kept grabbing me and hugging me and kissing me. She can get her grandmother's china out of the box it's been stored in now -- and it's big enough to hold that and my china and crystal as well.

This is the first piece of furniture that WE have purchased. The first of many, I hope.

Can I just tell you how much I love my life? I lack for absolutely nothing.

Culture Club

2006-11-20T10:02:00.000-05:00

I guess it's been a day or two since I posted anything, eh?

The search for my half-uncle turned up nothing new, as we suspected. We went to the State Police barracks to let them know that we'd be on the property searching and were told by one of the troopers that they planned to take dogs up there the next day. We limited our search to the creeks and creek beds that surround the property, none more than 300 yards from the house. It was a beautiful fall day, sunny and mild with temperatures in the low 60s. The following day, when the dogs were supposed to be taken in, was to be cold and drizzling rain. Not sure how the dogs can track much after 3 months worth of heat, torrential rain at times, and being IN the rain. With hunting season rapidly approaching, it's possible that he'll be found someplace in the woods behind his property.

We didn't have any work for our company that weekend, so we stayed home and got some much needed housework done. Lisa got some floor trim and mouldings cut and stained and put some polyurethane on them. I got the whole house cleaned and dusted. On Sunday, we just sat and vegetated -- it felt good to not have anything hanging over our heads.

Thursday, around 8:00 we were sitting and talking about how we needed to get groceries for the coming week, as well as for Thanksgiving. Lisa said "You want to go now?" and off we went. Food shopping at the grocery store at 8:00 in the evening is great -- hardly anyone there. We got our 23 lb. turkey and everything we need for Thanksgiving dinner, along with routine groceries, and got out of there just at $250. Not so bad, really, considering it's been two weeks since we last shopped.

Friday we went out to the Christmas Tree Shoppes, AC Moore, and Bed Bath and Beyond to look for some nice table cloths for Thanksgiving. We hate the gaggy turkey decorated things and really just want something with a nice "harvest" color theme. We didn't find anything for the table, but did find some cute Christmas decorations. After we shopped, we stopped by the restaurant where Joe tends bar and had a glass of wine. I think he was pleased to see us because it was a bit slow at that time. He told me last night that on Saturday, when he showed up at 5:30, the place was locked up. Apparently all the cooks and a couple of the servers took a "break," and didn't come back until almost 8:00. Not real sure what that was all about but it sounds to me like there's trouble brewing at San Jose's.

We slept in yesterday morning until almost 11:00. I can't remember when the last time was that I slept past 9:00, let alone that late. We got up and had some coffee, putzed around a bit and before we knew it, it was 2:30. I went in and took a long, hot shower, then spent a bit of extra time drying and styling my hair. We got dressed and were off to the Memorial Art Gallery to see the Color and Conservation exhibit of the late Georgia O'Keeffe. The exhibit not only contains original works by the artist, but is accompanied by a host of black and white photographs of the woman, her hands, and sometimes Georgia and her husband Alfred Stieglitz .

The works were brilliant, and were pieces that I was totally unfamiliar with. One, in particular, Abstraction, Seaweed and Water, Maine 1920 caught my eye and I'm now on a mission to get a print of that work. I can't find it anywhere and have searched the web exhaustively. It's possible, I suppose, that prints of it don't exist.

I did, however, buy a print of this work and will take it to get it framed.

Of course, while the print is beautiful, it does not do justice to the original work. The closer you stand to this piece, the more intricate the details become and you find yourself drawn to the lines and curves and colors and highlights. She had said, about this flower, that if she could paint it large enough, everyone would love the flower. She was right. This work is titled Cup of Silver Ginger.

Some time back, a lover of mine bought me this O'Keeffe print. I kept it, not for any sentimental reasons but because it's just beautiful. Lisa loves it, too and after we painted the upstairs, we made the decision to hang it over the fireplace.

I also own these two:

After the museum, we went to dinner at Edibles, billed as a "hip, urban eatery."

On their menu they have such items as Hog Wings, Caramelized walnut salad, Coconut Crusted Alaskan Cod, Lobster Ravioli, Salmon Baked with a Sour Cherry Glaze and Vegetable Strudel. We enjoyed wine with our appetizer plate, which consisted of some of the Vegetable Strudel, a roast duck pizza, goat cheeze puff, and scallions in a lime sauce. It was amazing! Our entrees were served and we ordered another glass of wine each and enjoyed our dinner. For dessert, we had the Apple Pie Cheesecake.

All told, we had a wonderful weekend. No frantic schedules, lots of rest, and a bit of self-indulgence.

Time Passages

2006-11-13T10:41:00.000-05:00

Wow, where'd the last week or so go?

I've had a full dance card during that time and full plates always make time fly by.

Wednesday I took the day off to take Joe downtown to see a lawyer about his third speeding ticket this year. Under NY State law, three speeds in an 18 month period causes revocation of the license. So, we met with the lawyer (the same one that's handling my lawsuit), and then went to DMV so Joe could get an abstract of his license and I could turn in the plates to my father's vehicle that's been sitting in my driveway since June.

We got home around 1:30, not bad for all the running we had to do. So, we fixed ourselves some lunch and I sat down to knit for a little while.

At 4:30 I had a four-hour orientation for the part-time job I took at Jo-Ann Fabric and Craft Superstore. Yeah, me, a part-time job. It's not that I need the money or that I need more on my plate these days, I just thought a little bit of extra money during the holiday season might be nice. I took the job understanding that I'd be stocking shelves and "receiving." Minimum wage, of course.

Friday I took the day off and went down to my aunt's house. We'd planned the day a couple of weeks prior to that. Now that the leaves and vegetation of summer have died back, we thought we'd go to my half-uncle's property and see if we could find him. He's been missing since July. Because he's got psychiatric difficulties as well as the fact that he's an alcoholic, we pretty much are all of the mind that they'll find him dead somewhere in the woods behind his house. We spent the day walking the creeks and creekbeds in about a 300 yard radius. According to my father, my half-uncle is/was too lazy to go much farther than about 100 yards away. The state police were going to be bringing in some dogs the next day, so we didn't go beyond that 300 yard area.

Saturday we worked for our own business, arriving at the job site around 10:30 and getting home around 4:00.

Sunday morning I was up and out the door to be at Joann's by 7:00 AM, where I worked until noon receiving product, unpacking it, and sending it out to the floor to be put on the shelves. I hit the floor running at 7:00 and went non-stop (except for a 15 minute break) until quitting time -- and I was home before the opening kickoff of the early football games. I was a hurtin' pup by the time I got home, since I did all that bending, twisting, pivoting, stooping, lifting and climbing. I took a hot shower and applied some Blue Stop to the really sore areas and sat in my spot with my knitting and watched football. Applied some Blue Stop before bed and got up this morning feeling pretty darned good except for a couple of minor muscle aches where I didn't apply any Blue Stop. Not bad for an old heiffer.

I work from 5:00 to 10:30 tonight and tomorrow, too.

The store manager insists that they need me most on the registers and, like I told Lisa, since I don't want to work the registers and I'm only getting minimum wage AND I don't need the money, I'm not going to get sucked into doing anything other than what I signed up to do. I guess that's the beauty of not needing the money, I don't need to worry about keeping the job. Oh, sure, I get a 15% discount at the store as an employee but, again, nothing I really need. Just something that's nice to have.

Somewhere in between all that, I've been at my full-time job as well. I had one (brand new) computer go down, the network printer shit the bed, and the guy who fixes the printers won't be in for two weeks. The Computer and Network Services folks brought up a loaner that keeps jamming, won't feed legal sized paper, and is so full of paper dust that it probably will only come clean by sand-blasting it.

The end of the semester is also looming on the horizon and, with that, Christmas will be here -- in just six short weeks. After that, I get about 11 days off and I'm really looking forward to hunkering down without the stressors of work and the holidays hanging over my head. I really love that time because it's always cold outside and I wear sweats around the house, fall asleep watching television curled up on the couch with a cat and an old afghan, do light housework or catch up on projects with the stereo blaring away. Lisa usually takes a couple of days during that time too -- I adore time off with Lisa.

We're working diligently to get a good resume put together for her these days. She's very disenchanted with her job and was alarmed recently when she suddenly realized that she really doesn't care any more. It's time to move on. Frankly, I don't care much these days at my job, either, but I only have 9 years left before I can retire permanently and, unless something better (pay-wise) comes along, I'll stick it out here until then. Lisa, on the other hand, still has about 25 working years ahead of her and still has a chance to get into something that has a good future for her. But, she can't let too much time slip away or, before she knows it, she'll be "too old" to be starting over, too, like some of her co-workers.

Post Election

2006-11-09T12:12:00.000-05:00

Lots of excitement this week, eh?

Like every other household in America, our phone rang off the hook Monday and Tuesday evenings with final pushes for candidates up for election. Because none of the three of us are registered in any specific party, we got calls from all sides. We didn't bother to answer the phone, letting the messages go to the answering machine. In our local paper, we found this article:

Bad word of mouth?
Perhaps not surprisingly, this campaign season produced some charges of robocall abuse. Democrats in several northeastern states, including New York, said that national Republicans funded deceptive robocalls. The calls opened with a phrase that suggested the call was from a Democratic candidate. If the person called didn't hang up, the message went on to point out the candidate's alleged faults. The message did end by saying it was from the Republican Party. If the voter hung up upon hearing the candidate's name, the robocall automatically redialed, further annoying the voter.

I'm glad the elections are over. I get really, really, REALLY tired of seeing commercials telling me why not to vote for someone, but without telling me why I should vote for the person whose campaign sponsored the negative ad.

Here in New York, the Democratic party had a field day and, with that, same-sex New Yorkers have a brighter flicker of hope.

Former Attorney General Eliot Spitzer was elected governor, earning 69% of the vote. In March of 2004 Mr. Spitzer issued an informal opinion in which he indicated that legal same-sex unions that originate in jurisdictions outside of New York State should be recognized in New York (whether they be Canadian marriages or Vermont civil unions).

Andrew Cuomo, the son of former NY Governor Mario Cuomo, was elected to fill the Attorney General vacancy left by Eliot Spitzer. Mr. Cuomo served as Secretary of Housing and Urban Development for four years under former President Clinton. Mr. Cuomo took 57% of the votes cast.

Also raking in 67% of the vote, Senator Hillary Clinton easily won her bid for re-election and, as this blog is being written, is taking a sort of "victory lap" around New York state to thank her constituents.

New Yorkers showed by their votes that they are not easily influenced by recent events or scandals that mar candidates. Republican Tom Reynolds was re-elected to Congress, following a lot of hooplah regarding the House page scandal involving Tom Foley (now stepped down). State Comptroller Alan Hevesi was also re-elected (soundly), following the disclosure that he had used a state-paid employee to chauffer his ailing wife around town to medical appointments. Hevesi stroked a check for $83,000 back to the state to make restitution but to some Republicans, this wasn't enough. An inquiry was launched and, while the inquiry came back in just days before the election, it brought back the conclusion that, while there were grounds to have Hevesi removed from office, there was nothing illegal or criminal about what he did. One of Mr. Hevesi's responsibilities is the administration of the state retirement system, the one that I belong to. Mr. Hevesi released a statement a couple of years ago that assured the partners in same-sex relationships that their relationships would be honored the same as a heterosexual married couple when it came to these state pensions. Hevesi also raised eyebrows as well as ire when he remarked at a commencement ceremony that "...Senator Charles Schumer was so tough he would "put a bullet between the president's eyes if he could get away with it." Perhaps the voters' numbers in the state indicate that they think it might be a good idea?

What's interesting about the Hevesi situation right now is that, while Eliot Spitzer withdrew his endorsement of Hevesi just prior to the elections, the fact remains that the people have spoken and re-elected the man, giving him 57% of the votes. This situation perplexes current Governor George Pataki, along with other state officials looking into the possibility of removing Mr. Hevesi from office. How do they override the people's voice?

Susan V. John was re-elected to the State Assembly again as well. A few years ago, as the Chair of the Drug and Alcohol Abuse Committee, Ms. John was arrested for DWI and petulantly told reporters that it was her private business. Apparently that one "aw shit" did NOT outweigh all the "attaboys" she's earned in Albany.

Local incumbent Republican Congressional candidates all won their bids for re-election, but only by razor thin margins. Walsh took 51% of the votes, Reynolds 52%, and Kuhl 51.5% -- again, another indicator that the Republican party has garnered disfavor in New York State.

Nationally, the Republican party lost their stranglehold on the American people in both the House and the Senate, with Virginia weighing in today with the news that a source in George Allen's camp has indicated that Mr. Allen will concede to Jim Webb today, giving Democrats the weakest of leads over the Republicans in the Senate. Otherwise, if a recount is demanded and the results show Allen winning, the Senate would be evenly split, with VP Dick Cheney being the deciding vote in anything that would require a simple majority.

In Florida, voter-scandal queen Katherine Harris was squashed by Bill Nelson, with Nelson getting 68% of the votes.

By a slim margin, Arizona voters defeated a proposal to write discrimination into their constitution while, oddly enough, haning on to their Republican leadership. It would appear that Arizona voters support Republican ideals and values while at the same time rejecting the notion that a group of people should be discriminated against because of who they are. Interesting folks, those Arizonians. Seven other states didn't see things that way, though, and voted to amend their state constitutions to ban same-sex couples from marrying.

Along with New York State, several other states changed state leadership from Republican to Democrat.

So. What does it all mean? Besides the obvious, of course? What does it mean for ALL Americans, across the country, regardless of income level, sexual orientation, religious beliefs (or lack thereof), age or gender?

If you ask my son's girlfriend (a STAUNCH Republican mindset and a huge Dubya fan), it's the end of this great country -- a sentiment many of us expressed in 2000 and then again in 2004.

Personally, I think it means that this country is going to get back to being OF the people and BY the people, as opposed to OF the government BY the government. We need to stay in Iraq and clean up Dubya's mess but we need to have an exit plan -- a viable one, devised by knowledgeable and experienced people, not politicians and businessmen.

I think it means that the middle class will no longer support the upper class as well as the lower class. And workers will be able to work at a liveable wage (barely). Our government will no longer be bogged down in the House and Senate voting on symbolic measures (that are sure NOT to pass) designed to bring the favor of special interest groups and to disenfranchise groups of Americans.

I think it means that we'll get back to the things that really are important to the nation as a whole. Education. Health Care. Economy. Services. Hope.

I'm reminded of the closing lines from the movie The Shawshank Redemption:

I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head.
I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border.

I hope to see my friend, and shake his hand.

I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams.

I hope.

What's in a word?

2006-11-06T11:31:00.000-05:00

Have you ever heard words that piss you off, even if they're used right?

The word woken does that to me. There's the Sleep Numbers Bed commercial where the guy says "I have not woken up..." In fact, that expression irks me so bad, I actually went to the dictionary and found that, while it's not necessarily grammatically incorrect, it's not necessarily grammatically correct, either.

According to Webster, it's a "...past part of wake" and that's all that's said about the word. It doesn't show it as a verb, noun, adjective, adverb or any other element of speech. Just that it's there.

So, how does that guy in the commercial fix what he says? "I haven't awakened..."

A person I know is one of those types of folks who likes to use $10 words but only has a dollar store brain to use them with. When she's indignant about some atrocity in the world, she says "I can't phantom why someone would do that." Let me see if I've got this straight -- you can't spirit/ghost/spectral figure why someone would do something?

Our neighbor is another one with a bad word habit that annoys me. "The hofstras in the front of the house have started to bloom." You actually have flowering colleges in your front yard?

How about some of those commonly misspelled words we see so much of? "I don't wan't to loose my job." Do you say "GOOZ" when you see the word goose? And, it's definitely, not definately.

Even my own beloved Lisa has a couple of mispronunciations that grate on my nerves. Hon, it's asphalt not ASHphalt. And, there's only one "t" in the little flowers called impatiens. Those flowers don't need to be patient, nor do they lack patience. And, I thought I was going to cough up a hairball when she came inside after spending a couple of hours weeding the gardens and announced "I wed all the beds on the side and front of the house." Honey, we are fighting for marriage equality, but to each OTHER. She protests that it's a Pennsylvania dialect thing, like another Pennsylvanian's "dippy eggs." I'm thinking it's not the eggs that are dippy. We put flowers in a thing that rhymes with the word face not with the place Dorothy and Toto traveled to, even if we are millionaires.

Irregardless really chaps my behind, too. According to Mirriam Webster "Irregardless originated in dialectal American speech in the early 20th century. Its fairly widespread use in speech called it to the attention of usage commentators as early as 1927. The most frequently repeated remark about it is that "there is no such word." There is such a word, however. It is still used primarily in speech, although it can be found from time to time in edited prose. Its reputation has not risen over the years, and it is still a long way from general acceptance. Use regardless instead. " Yes, please use regardless!

When did bad come to mean good? How is it that a litter of kittens is awfully cute? Is that band's newly released song really wicked cool? When I instant message my son and ask if he'll be home for dinner and he responds with "prolly," does that mean yes?

There are people in this country who advocate speaking one language only -- English. They are arrogant enough to think that speaking and teaching in one language only will save taxpayers money, and will heighten the educational outcomes of our schools. The problem, as I see it, is that even those of us who speak English as a primary language can't speak it correctly so how are we going to reasonably convince those that speak English as a second language that it's in their best interest?

Here in New York, I can go to McDonald's and order a chocolate milkshake. In Massachusetts I would order a frap. That fizzy drink with orange flavor? In some places it's called pop, some places it's called soda, and some places it's called soda pop. If his beer sat around long enough that it wasn't cold any more, my ex-husband used to say it was hot. I never saw any steam coming out of the can, nor did it ever burn my hand when I picked it up.

Footlong sandwiches can be heroes, submarine sandwiches, hoagies, or torpedoes, depending on where you live. If you stand in front of a crowd and want to get their attention in the North, you say "May I have your attention please?" In the south it's "Can y'all give a listen here?" In the military, it's simply "LISTEN UP!"

We've gotten in such a hurry that we don't even use words sometimes. We can watch programming on HDTV, DVD, VHS or an LCD TV. We listen to music on an MP3 player or an iPod. We talk to each other using AOL IM.

On the other extreme, we have a lot of redundancy. We take cash out of an ATM machine (automated teller machine machine). When we do that, we have to enter our PIN number (personal identification number number). After we get our cash out of that ATM machine we go to the DMV to register our new car and they ask for the VIN number on the car (vehicle identification number number). Finally, we get home to find that the hot water heater isn't working properly. I'm wondering why I need to heat hot water anyway. Isn't it already hot?

Finally, let's teach our little ones to speak properly. It's a blanket, not a binkie. It's a train, not a toot-toot. If they're old enough to say "pacifier," (or woobie or pookie or whatever else they call them), they're too old to have the damned thing stuck in their mouths.

Maybe I just need more coffee...or java...or joe.

Take this job and shove it...

2006-11-02T08:26:00.000-05:00

I have a worker's comp review today. In March 2005 I fell and busted my sizeable ass outside work on the sidewalk after a snowstorm. I had been fussin' at the Director of Facilities all winter long about the fact that the sidewalk where most of the students and staff come in is rarely treated -- that morning was no different.

When I say I busted my ass, I mean, I busted my ass. There wasn't a spot on the right cheek of my tookas that wasn't bruised and my hip and back were thrown out of alignment pretty badly. I've been under the care of a chiropractor ever since, initially at three times per week, then down to two, and now one. I've had these reviews two other times now. The first one, about a year ago, the chiropractor that examined me concluded that would benefit from exactly six more treatments. The one I saw six months ago said I would benefit from exactly ten more. Interesting, because I didn't see a dart board in either one of their offices. I mean, they have to be using a dartboard to come up with the numbers, right? It's really more of an aggravation than anything else. I don't worry about them because, what happens, happens. It's just an ass-ache.

We had quite a few kids on Halloween. Of course we did, I only bought three bags of candy! In the past two years, I'd purchased 6-8 bags and only went through one so I couldn't see the sense in getting much more than I did. We ran out of candy in the first half hour. Then I started giving out Kashi granola bars. Then we went to microwave popcorn. I was looking in the cupboards for something, anything, that might go in a Halloween bag and spotted the large container of large, soft boullion cubes. We got laughing, the three of us, hootin' and guffawing about how funny it would be to put those big ol' cubes in the kids' bags, them thinking they were caramels, and their mother going through their bag and saying with incredulity, "You got boullion cubes?"

Tell me again how lucky I am to work here...I keep forgetting

I've been drowning in work and finally got caught up to the point where I could breathe again. Like I said to Lisa, I guess I don't hate my job, I hate the position they've put me in for staffing. We have two offices, that used to be staffed by two people each. After I lost an employee two years ago, they decided not to replace her, instead, the asshole that sold me down the river on not replacing the vacancy, managed to get a new position in his own office. He now has more secretaries on his staff in ONE office than I do people in my ENTIRE department, to staff TWO offices.

It really makes it hard to give a shit and I've gotten to where I don't give a shit about coverage for the offices any more. If they don't care, there's no point in me getting myself wound up over whether there's ample coverage for both offices. Last Friday one employee was off and the other called in sick. The other office was closed for the day. That happened a couple of weeks earlier, too. And, while the faculty complains to me about office closures, I merely tell them that complaining to me won't solve the problem, they have to pick up the phone and complain to the people who made the decision and, if they can't be bothered to make that call, I don't want to hear it. Pretty simple.

Lisa has also had some issues at work. She's lost her passion for her job and keeps saying that if the President of the company can't seem to care, it's hard for her to dredge up the sincerity to care as well. I think that if she thought she could get another job quickly, she'd resign today, without something lined up.

Got an email from my lawyer yesterday. It seems that the Assistant Attorney General's office called him, having "gotten wind of" the decision against us this past summer in our lawsuit against my employer. They asked if we're appealing, and if we want them to file an amicus brief on our behalf for the appeal.

For those of you that don't know what an amicus is, here's the legal definition:

Amicus Curiae

Definition: Latin term meaning "friend of the court". The name for a brief filed with the court by someone who is not a party to the case.

"... a phrase that literally means "friend of the court" -- someone who is not a party to the litigation, but who believes that the court's decision may affect its interest." William H. Rehnquist, The Supreme Court, page 89.

Amicus Curiae briefs are filed in many Supreme Court matters, both at the Petition for Writ of Certiorari stage, and when the Court is deciding a case on its merits. Some studies have shown a positive correlation between number of amicus briefs filed in support of granting certiorari, and the Court's decision to grant certiorari. Some friend of the court briefs provide valuable information about legal arguments, or how a case might affect people other than the parties to the case. Some organizations file friend of the court briefs in an attempt to "lobby" the Supreme Court, obtain media attention, or impress members.

"An amicus curiae brief that brings to the attention of the Court relevant matter not already brought to its attention by the parties may be of considerable help to the Court. An amicus curiae brief that does not serve this purpose burdens the Court, and its filing is not favored." Rule 37(1), Rules of the Supreme Court of the U.S.

"FRAP 29. BRIEF OF AN AMICUS CURIAE A brief of an amicus curiae may be filed only if accompanied by written consent of all parties, or by leave of court granted on motion or at the request of the court, except that consent or leave shall not be required when the brief is presented by the United States or an officer or agency thereof, or by a State, Territory or Commonwealth. The brief may be conditionally filed with the motion for leave. A motion for leave shall identify the interest of the applicant and shall state the reasons why a brief of an amicus curiae is desirable. Save as all parties otherwise consent, any amicus curiae shall file its brief within the time allowed the party whose position as to affirmance or reversal the amicus brief will support unless the court for cause shown shall grant leave for a later filing, in which event it shall specify within what period an opposing party may answer. A motion of an amicus curiae to participate in the oral argument will be granted only for extraordinary reasons." Rule 29. Federal Rules of Appellate Procedure.

It would seem to me that this would be a real score for us, with it coming from the Attorney General's office. In addition, they will reference the opinion released by AG Eliot Spitzer in March of 2004 regarding same-sex marriages that originate outside the jurisdiction of NY State.

There's an interesting op-ed in the NY Times today about elitism in BOTH parties and how the rich and famous rarely send their children to war any more. It's a great read.

I'm off tomorrow. I've been taking the first Friday of each month off since I've been flying solo -- sort of a "recharge" day for me. My plan is to try to get at least 10 rows of knitting done (and with 296 stitches per row, that's a lot) .

Lisa's sister and niece are coming up from Pennsylvania tomorrow to spend the weekend with us. We're planning on going to the mall on the east side of the city (it's really big and just so much better than the ones nearer us). I'm putting on some "white chili" in the crock pot, and some Hawaiian sweet bread in the breadmaker for Saturday. Lisa's really jazzed about her sister coming up, as it'll be the first time she's been up since Lisa moved in with me six years ago.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Monster Mash

2006-10-31T09:04:00.000-05:00

*snicker* Welcome to MY world!

Wrapping up the week

2006-10-27T10:27:00.000-04:00

An interesting piece of news coming out of the notoriously anti-gay state, Virginia, indicates that polls show that, even though the majority of voters support a ban on same-sex marriages, it is not by a wide margin at all, as previously thought. Only 52 percent of voters surveyed said they support the amendment. While that may prove to have little comfort value for the GLBT community living in Virginia if the amendment passes, I think it clearly shows them that they're not completely alone in that state.

Of course, if the ballot measure had been written to exclude same-sex marriage ONLY, I suspect it would pass by a landslide. However, the framers of the measure were short-sighted enough to believe that a measure that would ban partnerships of any kind between non-married people, regardless of gender mixes, would pass.

I have long said that ballot measure votes should not be passed by a simple majority because in many areas of the country, the majority is often defined by people who belong to a specific group, whether it be race, religion, or something else.

For example, let's say that 51% of the people that live in Utah are Mormon and the remaining 49% are not. (I'm just using random numbers here, so don't get all cranked about it, okay?). They're given a ballot measure to make Mormonism the state religion and, in so doing, all government will be run according to Mormon beliefs.

If all of the Mormons vote for the measure, based on their religious beliefs, then the minority has no chance at all even though they may have all voted against the measure.

Ballot measures should pass only by a 2/3 majority or a margin percentage or some other measuring stick, not unlike the way the Senate votes. The democratic process is flawed in the simple "majority rules" concept. It's not democratic, it's the majority oppressing the minority in some instances. This is why it's important to have larger gaps dictate the passage or failure of these sorts of ballot measures.

If this sort of system was in place, I would wager that Virginia would see this measure defeated and some of the states that have already passed amendments to their constitution would not have been able to do so.

In our sue-happy or I-can-get-some-big-money-out-of-this society, I can only shake my head as I read this article about a woman who went to a Kansas City Royals game and was struck by a foul ball and now wants the team to pay her medical bills. To me, this is the same mentality as that which was displayed by the two men a few years back who decided to use a lawn mower to trim shrubs. They rigged the safety mechanism so the mower wouldn't stop when they let go of it and they both picked the running lawnmower up by the deck, and lost their fingertips. They sued the manufacturer of the lawnmower, alleging that nothing in the equipment's instructions told them not to pick it up that way. When you go to a baseball game, and sit up front near the third base line, you have to expect foul balls and exercise a certain amount of awareness of your surroundings. I might be silly but I honestly think that personal safety is an individual responsibility first. I'm not saying that she didn't protect herself, not at all. But I am saying that, by buying the ticket and sitting in the seat, you assume a certain level of risk and, as long as the team isn't negligent, it just sucks to be you if you're hit by a stray ball.

I could make MYSELF gag with this! LOL!

You Are Not Scary

Everyone loves you. Isn't that sweet?

How Scary Are You?

Have a great weekend!

This is gonna be a long one...

2006-10-26T09:46:00.000-04:00

OK, so, the ruling is out in New Jersey, to mixed reviews.

The good news is that the New Jersey Supreme Court backs equal rights for same-sex couples.

The bad news is that they "punted" the issue to the State Legislature with the understanding that any new law will be reviewed so ensure that it does not "run afoul of the Constitution." They have ordered the Legislature to write and enact law, within 180 days that will either allow same-sex couples to marry, or enter into a Civil Union.

I read through all 90 pages of the ruling yesterday afternoon, with my yellow highlighter in hand. What follows is some excerpts that I was particularly struck by, either in their insight, or lack of sight -- with, of course, my own editorializing in red. I'm just going to jump right in...

"In defending the constitutionality of its marriage laws, the State submits that same-sex marriage has no historical roots in the traditions or collective conscience of the people of New Jersey to give it the ranking of a fundamental right, and that limiting marriage to opposite-sex couples is a rational exercise of social policy by the Legislature." Have you ever run into those sorts of people at work who do things the hard way and justify it by "it's always been done that way?" This is a similar argument. To say "it's always been this way" is not to justify denying marriage to same-sex couples, it's a cop-out and weak, at best.

"Indeed, the State not only recognizes the right of gay and lesbian parents to raise their own children, but also places foster children in same-sex parent homes through the Division of Youth and Family Services." At least the state didn't argue that same-sex relationships are bad for children.

"The State rests its case on age-old traditions, beliefs, and laws, which have defined the essential nature of marriage to be the union of a man and a woman." It's always been that way...

"In Romer v Evans, Colorado passed an amendment to its constitution that prohibited all legislative, executive, or judicial action designed to afford homosexuals protection from discrimination based on sexual orientation. The Supreme Court declared that Colorado's constitutional provision violated the Fourteenth Amendment's Equal Protection Clause because it 'impos[ed] a broad and undifferentiated disability on a single named group' and appeared to be motivated by an 'animus toward' gays and lesbians. The Court concluded that a state could not make 'a class of persons a stranger to its laws.'" It would seem to me that this ruling would also apply to all of the state constitutional amendments that have been passed in the last couple of years that prohibit same-sex couples from marrying or even having their relationships recognized through civil unions. No wonder the Supreme Court keeps dodging this issue...

"Under the guise of newly found rights, we must be careful not to impose our personal value system on eight-and-one-half million people, thus bypassing the democratic process as the primary means of effecting social change in this State." OK, there's a part of me that understands where this type of mindset comes from (as it is seen throughout the country). "Let the people decide" has been the refrain we've heard since this issue first blew open two years ago. Where this sort of logic fails is in the fact that, by letting the people decide through the democratic process, we lose touch with the reality of the majority oppressing the minority. Had Loving v Virginia been ruled "let the people decide," it's entirely possible that interracial marriages would not be legal today. Laws of equality have always, historically, come from the courts and not the voting booths because of the ability of the majority to oppress the minority through the democratic process of voting. It's a double edged sword.

The court quotes two rulings: "...the more personal the right, the greater the public need must be to justify governmental interference with the exercise of that right," and "Unless the public need justifies statutorily limiting the exercise of a claimed right, the State's action is deemed arbitrary." I think this addresses the heart of the issue. No state or government has yet to provide any reasonable or logical argument for how the public good is served by denying marriage to same-sex couples.

"We next examine the extent to which New Jersey's laws continue to restrict committed same-sex couples from enjoying the full benefits and privileges available through marriage. Although under the Domestic Partnership Act same-sex couples are provided with a number of important rights, they still are denied many benefits and privileges accorded to their similarly situated heterosexual counterparts. Thus the act has failed to bridge the inequality gap between committed same-sex couples and married opposite-sex couples." Domestic Partnership laws only render lip service to equality, and these judges not only saw that, but pointed it out for the Legislature to see. What they failed to see beyond this is that Civil Unions are not a whole lot different than Domestic Partner laws. Separate but equal just doesn't cut it.

"Last, even though they are provided fewer benefits and rights, same-sex couples are subject to more stringent requirements to enter into a domestic partnership than opposite-sex couples entering into marriage." Honestly, I never thought about that but it's absolutely true. When I enrolled Lisa in my benefit plan here at work, I had to provide proof that we were financially interdependent on each other, that we resided together, and had been together for more than a year. Our marriage license was not on the list of accepted documents of proof.

"The Legislature has recognized that the 'rights and benefits' provided in the Domestic Partnership Act are directly related 'to any reasonable conception of basic human dignity and autonomy.' It is difficult to understand how withholding the remaining 'rights and benefits' from committed same-sex couples is compatible with a 'reasonable conception of basic human dignity and autonomy.' There is no rational basis for, on the one hand, giving gays and lesbians full civil rights in their status as individuals, and, on the other, giving them an incomplete set of rights when they follow the inclination of their sexual orientation and enter into committed same-sex relationships." Emphasis my own.

"There is something distinctly unfair about the State recognizing the right of same-sex couples to raise natural and adopted children and placing foster children with those couples, and yet denying those children the financial and social benefits and privileges available to children in heterosexual households." And this practice just slays me. Statistically, same-sex households take into foster care and/or adopt more special needs children than their heterosexual counterparts, and often their medical expenses are paid out-of-pocket because the state's benefits are inadequate. The States are more than happy to dump these "high maintenance" kids off wherever they can yet they fall short of providing the kinds of benefits to the families they dump them off with that they give to those families that can't be bothered with these special children.

"The equal protection requirement of Article I, Paragraph 1 leaves the Legislature with two apparent options. The Legislature could simply amend the marriage statutes to include same-sex couples, or it could create a separate statutory structure, such as a civil union, as Connecticut and Vermont have done." "Plaintiffs argue that even equal social and financial benefits would not make them whole unless they are allowed to call their committed relationships by the name of marriage. They maintain that a parallel legal structure, called by a name other than marriage, which provides the social and financial benefits they have sought, would be a separate-but-equal classification that offends Article I, Paragraph 1. From plaintiffs' standpoint, the title of marriage is an intangible right, without which they are consigned to second-class citizenship. Plaintiffs seek not just legal standing, but also social acceptance, which in their view is the last step toward true equality. Conversely the State asserts that it has a substantial interest in preserving the historically and almost universally accepted definition of marriage as the union of a man and a woman. For the State, if the age-old definition of marriage is to be discarded, such change must come from the crucible of the democratic process." "Raised here is the perplexing question -- "What's in a name?" -- and is a name itself of constitutional magnitude after the State is required to provide full statutory rights and benefits to same sex couples? We are mindful that in the cultural clash over same-sex marriage, the word marriage itself -- independent of the rights and benefits of marriage -- has an evocative and important meaning to both parties. Under our equal protection jurisprudence, however, plaintiffs' claimed right to the name of marriage is surely not the same now that equal rights and benefits must be conferred on committed same-sex couples.

Addressing this very question -- what's in a name -- and writing for the dissenting opinions, Chief Justice Poritz writes "In their presentation to the court, they speak of the deep and symbolic significance to them of the institution of marriage. They ask to participate, not simply in the tangible benefits that marriage provides -- although certainly those benefits are of enormous importance -- but in the intangible benefits that flow from being civilly married. Chief Justice Marshall, writing for the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court, has conveyed some sense of what it means:

Marriage also bestows enormous private and social advantages on those who choose to marry. Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family. 'It is an association that promotes a way of life, not causes; a harmony in living, not political faiths; a bilateral loyalty, not commercial or social projects.' Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition.

Chief JusticePoritz very eloquently concludes "When we say that the Legislature cannot deny the tangible benefits of marriage to same-sex couples, but then suggest that 'a separate statutory scheme, which uses a title other than marriage' is presumptively constitutional...we demean plaintiffs' claim. What we 'name' things matters, language matters."

Language DOES matter. A marital status of "Civil Union" as opposed to "Married" automatically flags the private relationship for anyone in the world to see. It establishes a label that separates us from our heterosexual counterparts in much the same way that "African American" separates people of color from their Caucasian counterparts. Aren't we ALL Americans? What is "African" about a person of color who is a tenth generation American? Why would "African Americans" embrace a label that sets them apart from other Americans? Why would same-sex committed couples embrace civil unions that only set them apart from their heterosexual counterparts? Chief Justice Poritz concludes "By excluding same-sex couples from civil marriage, the state declares that it is legitimate to differentiate between their commitments and the commitments of heterosexual couples. Ultimately, the message is that what same-sex couples have is not as important or significant as 'real' marriage, that such lesser relationships cannot have the name of marriage." Amen.

In the Loving v Virginia case, Poritz points out, Justice Kennedy explained "...times can blind us to certain truths and later generations can see that laws once thought necessary and proper in fact serve only to oppress." Poritz concludes "Without analysis, our Court turns to history and tradition and finds that marriage has never been available to same-sex couples. That may be so -- but the Court has not asked whether the limitation in our marriage laws, 'once thought necessary and proper in face serve[s] only to oppress.'

On the surface, the ruling is a victory for same-sex couples, but only insofar as tangible benefits of marriage equality are concerned. The court seems to have turned a disinterested eye away from the intangible benefits of civil marriage. And with that disregard, it would seem that they have only rendered lip service to true equality.

Bouncing back

2006-10-25T09:10:00.000-04:00

For as crappy as I felt yesterday, I feel pretty darned good today. I took two short naps yesterday, hunkered down, watched re-runs of Judging Amy, caught up on the stuff that's been sitting on the DVR waiting to be watched, sucked down a whole big bottle of white grape juice, and sat with my feet up knitting. Idgie stuck with me the entire day, very happy that someone was home with her. She stretched and curled and yawned and repositioned herself a lot, but pretty much didn't leave my side.

I tend to use children's Benadryl FastMelts for any sinus conditions because it works fast and I don't get revved up on it like I do most antihistamines. I used my Nasocourt nasal spray and that really blasted up the congestion in my nose and sinuses. I slept very well last night and woke up this morning feeling much better. So much so, I decided I could work.

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We had an incident here locally where a woman refused to pull over for police after running a red light and, after a 5 mile chase, crashed. It was later learned that she had an 11-month old baby in the back seat. Of course, the police are taking a lot of heat because the baby was in the vehicle (minor scrapes in the crash) but nobody in the media seems to want to hold the stupid mother accountable for the crash. The stupid mother who was driving under the influence of drugs.

I get so sick of the criticism of law enforcement in this type of situation. The woman ran a red light and, while she didn't hit anyone, she could very well have killed someone doing so. Or been struck and killed herself, along with her baby. They're damned if they do and damned if they don't, I guess.

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The nation is waiting with baited breath to see what New Jersey's highest court is going to do about same-sex marriages.

If they rule that same-sex couples can marry, we're likely to drive to New Jersey and tie it up legally there. That would give us a Vermont Civil Union, Canadian marriage, and a US marriage. More ammunition with which to fight the battle. And we'll continue to do just that.

Keeping our fingers crossed.

Code id by doze

2006-10-24T08:00:00.000-04:00

I hab a code id by doze and I can't dalk dorbal.

The good news is that this is the first full-blown cold I've had since I quit smoking 8 years ago. Over the past eight years I've had a few instances of some mild congestion and light sniffles, but I've fought them off within a day and not gotten sick. No such luck this time. But hey, once every eight years isn't so tough, right?

The bad news is that this has hit me from every direction. Bleeding sinuses, painful pressure in my ears, headache, nose running so bad I can't keep up with it (and the requisite raw, red spot under the nose), even my teeth and jaw hurt.

Yeah, I'm staying home today. *sniffle*

We went to the Home Depot's Ladies' Night last night. They were completely unprepared when we got there but threw something together anyway. Lisa and I were pretty bored, as they did some very basic stuff -- we wanted POWER TOOLS!

So one of their female employees was standing behind me and I said to her "Enough of this grade school crap, I want power tools!" It turned out that this woman worked in Hardware -- that is, where the tools are. She said "I'll be right back" and in a few minutes brought back the coolest little palm-sized cordless screwdriver. It comes with a 34 piece bit set and you can either get it in a storage tin (like you get with Christmas cookies) or a cary case. Here's the cool part -- it will hold a charge for up to EIGHTEEN MONTHS!

Now, I don't know about you but it seems like every single time I want to use the cordless screwdriver, it needs a charge.

Oh, another cool tool we saw as we were wandering around was this adjustable wrench made by Black and Decker. There's a "slide" mechanism on the side where you push either up or down and it automatically adjusts the size of the wrench ONTO THE BOLT! Too cool! How many times have you had to stop, adjust your wrench, try it, adjust it more, etc. before you can do the job?

I'm thinking that Lisa and I both need this tool in our tool bags for our business. The palm-sized cordless is something that I'd love to have in the house. So, while we didn't learn anything from the "Y" chromosomes, we still had a good demonstration, however spur-of-the-moment it might have been, of some useful tools. This woman also asked for one of our business cards -- says she knows folks who could use some of our services.

I have this little munchkin curled up on my lap, begging for me to cuddle with her, so I guess I'm headed for the couch for the day.

Just for Jenn!

2006-10-22T12:19:00.000-04:00

These are for a blogging buddy, Jenn.

Jenn, I thought of you immediately! LOL!

Friday around the web

2006-10-20T09:53:00.000-04:00

I decided some time ago to end my Marriage Equality blog. There's so much in the news these days about the GLBT community that it would be a never ending blogfest. From time to time, I'll likely post important news articles or commentary but, for the most part, the blog is defunct. Yet, I found this in the comments this morning. Methinks someone really, really, REALLY needs to put down their crack pipe...

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A friend of mine who manages a group I belong to sent this along this morning. It's touching, and struck home. I've worried a lot lately about age, getting older, and the future. Give it a minute and check it out.

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Is this a good thing or a bad thing? And how does someone on death row have access to sharp metal objects?

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And finally, a meme stolen from sassy's blog:

1. Dated outside your race?
Hell, I married outside my race. Sort of. I mean, my XH was Hispanic.

2. Singing in the shower?
Yeah, sometimes. When I'm awake enough to function in the morning. But if I/we shower at night, I serenade my sweetie.

3. Spit in someone’s drink?
BLECH! NO!

4. Played with Barbies?
I hated Barbie, even when I was little. And I hated her sister "Pepper" too. I loved my Thumbelina, however. And, for the record? How do you think Barbie got all those houses and cars and stuff? I think Ken's been pimping her out. And, she needs to get an effin' job.

5. Made someone cry?
On purpose? No. Unintentionally? Yes.

6. Opened your Christmas presents early?
How early is early? The night before? Sure, from time to time. Before Christmas Eve? Not that I can remember.

7. Lied to a friend?
I'm ashamed to say that I have.

8. Watched and cried while watching a soap opera?
Yes. When Mary Ryan died, and through all of Rick and Leslie's trials and tribulations. And the whole Luke and Laura thing.

9. Played a computer game for more than 5 hours?
For the longest time, the biggest kid in the house was me. I've played all of the Tomb Raider games, as well as Tiger Woods PGA and can easily spend hours doing so, if I'm on a "lay low" day.

10. Ran through the sprinklers naked?
Nope.

11. Ate food that fell on the floor?
Five second rule...

12. Went outside naked?
Naked? No. Partially? Yes. There was that topless sunbathing incident where a cop showed up at my door. Turns out the battery in my cordless phone was depleted and the stupid thing got ahold of 9-1-1 and, because they got a hangup, they dispatched an officer to ensure there wasn't anything wrong. I got beet red that day, but not from sunbathing...

13. Been on stage?
Yes -- I used to model flower girl dresses when I was 4 or 5, and I was in Concert Choir in high school. There was also the senior play.

14. Been on stage naked or close to it?
Nope. Never been in a comedy show.

15. Been in a parade?
Are you kidding? The military is a parade-fest!

16. Been in a school play?
Yes. The Defiance of David Charles. Our senior play. I played the role of Gladys Swanson.

17. Drank beer?
Hasn't every man woman, child and dog?

18. Gotten detention?
Detention? No. Kicked out of class a few times? Yep.

19. Been on a cruise?
Never.

20. Broken into a house?
Yes, my own.

21. Gotten a tattoo?
No, and I have no desire.

22. Gotten piercings?
Just the ears. Twice.

23. Gotten into a fist fight?
Yep. Patty Rice called me out after school one day. And, of course, with my brother.

24. Gotten into a shouting match?
Yes, but I take Prozac for that now.

25. Swallowed sea/pool water?
Spent three days peeing out Pacific Ocean water each time we went boogeyboarding in Hawaii.

26. Spun yourself in circles to get dizzy on purpose?
Yeah, when I was a kid and didn't yak so easily.

27. Laughed so hard it hurt?
Frequently.

28. Tripped on your own feet?
Playing volleyball, I tripped over my own feet and ended up wrecking my knee because of the way I landed. Lisa often tells people that I trip over the seams in tile floors, blades of grass in the lawn, and the pile on carpets.

29. Cried yourself to sleep?
More times than I could count.

30. Cried in public?
Yes.

31. Thrown up in public?
Does puking in a bag on a plane with the guy across the aisle watching count?

32. Lied to your parents?
Isn't that a rite of passage?

33. Skipped class?
I hooked most of my senior year. I'm still amazed that I graduated.

34. Cried so hard you threw up?
Yeah -- I used to have really bad nightmares that got me to the point where I gagged and retched a lot. When a relationship ended a few years back, I cried to the point of vomiting as well.

35. Had a one night stand?
Yes -- not too proud of that.

36. Left restaurant without paying tab?
Never

37. Been Fired from a job?
Technically? No. I left a job about 15 years ago "under duress."

38. Wanted to make out with your massage therapist, therapist OR hairdresser?
No, never gave it any thought at all.

39. Had a drink "sent" to a stranger at a bar?
I was never that forward in my drinking days.

40. Been winked at and loved it?
Constantly!

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Have a great weekend!

New Tread on Me

2006-10-19T13:16:00.000-04:00

My RAV4 had been making this thumpa-thumpa-thumpa noise and, with each thumpa, I felt it. Road noise was pretty loud and I had to destroy what little hearing I had left to turn up the radio to hear it over the road noise. Had new tires put on yesterday, all around, and oooooohhhh what a smoooooooth ride! I'm a person of very simple pleasures and I couldn't help but call Lisa TWICE on the 10 minute ride from the dealership to the Home Depot and just say "YAYYY!" Of course, she laughed and called me a dork.

We went to the Home Depot and spent nearly $150 on mouldings to finish off the entryway, living room/dining "L" and kitchen that we've rennovated so far. After we got home and I was doing the books for our business, I felt Lisa come up behind my chair and heard her whisper "Did you still want to crawl into the cabinets with me at the Home Depot?"

Clearly I'm getting old because my first response was "No, I'd have needed EMT's to get me out of them!"

I got a picture message from Michelle yesterday that she sent via her phone. This is Cherlyn yesterday, not quite two weeks after her accident. She's looking amazingly good already! It's so nice to see her little eyes full of that sparkle and good humor. She's got quite an intelligent wit for a 5 year old, and those eyes are always so expressive. She's an amazing little girl.

Lisa has been doing some networking and has found some companies with some excellent home products that we are interested in carrying. One such product is a three-sensor alarm system that is hooked up to the sump pump and an electrical source (outlet). If the sump pump overflows, the heat goes out and/or a freezing temperatures is sensed, or if the power goes out, it sounds an alarm AND will automatically call up to three phone numbers that you program into it. Around here, that's huge because power goes out a lot during the cold weather and, since we constantly have snow thawing, losing the sump pump can be a huge economic disaster (especially since outside water isn't covered on our homeowner's insurance). So, if we're at work and the power goes out and the sump pump crock begins to overflow, we'd get a phone call from the system telling us that there's a problem at the house. I think it's a good idea!

Lisa had become so disenchanted with her job that she's thinking about asking my foster sister if her husband needs another hand on his dairy farm. Lisa was raised on a dairy farm and doesn't mind the work at all. Between you and me (a city girl through and through), I couldn't stand her coming home reeking of cow shit every day like Jim does. But, I've also always encouraged her to do what makes her happy, not what makes good money. To me, there's a profound difference between the two. No amount of money earned is worth being unhappy at your job because, whether you believe it or not, it spills over into the home. I'll support whatever she decides.

In the meantime, the web store host, who brags that they're never down, is down today and, as such, we can do no business in our store.

Wouldn't it just fiture...

ROWWWWR!

2006-10-18T17:12:00.000-04:00

Had a busy day today and am only still at work waiting for Lisa to pick me up so I can get my RAV4. It was in for inspection and I had to get new tires. Got a pretty decent promotion with buy 3, get one for $1. And I needed tires BADLY! All things considered I got 4 new tires, a NYS inspection ($20 these days), a new engine oil filter, front end alignment and an oil change for just under $600.

While we're at the Toyota dealership we're going to look into leasing a Hybrid Highlander for Lisa. With stop and go traffic on the expressway and the distance that she drives to work each day, we feel strongly that a Hybrid vehicle is almost a necessity.

After that, it's foreplay.

Yep, you guessed it. We're going to the Home Depot.

10/17/2006 Updated

2006-10-17T09:52:00.000-04:00

First off, take some unsolicited advice. DON'T SWITCH OVER TO THE BETA VERSION OF BLOGGER! It has been nothing but an ass-ache for me and I'm furious with it. Why? Primarily because I blog all day long. That is, I write some, do some work, write some more, do some more work, etc. and then I publish the day's work. Friday I had a nice, long entry ready to publish with an update about my granddaughter, the snow we had Friday, and other stuff. I hit the "Publish" button, and was brought to the login screen. Everything I'd spent the entire day posting was gone. *Poof* There have been other little problems with it as well. Anyway, don't switch over until they get the numerous bugs worked out! This has been a public service announcement.

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Michelle called yesterday after Cher's follow-up appointment with the maxillofacial doctor. They took the splints out of her nose and she'll likely get the external splint removed Friday. She can return to school today.

Michelle is unfamiliar with the area, as she lives about 90 miles south of us but they sent Cher up here because of the Golisano Children's Hospital and the other specialists that the little munchkin had to see. Anyway, as Michelle got off the expressway, she got disoriented and had difficulty finding the hospital. From the back seat she heard "If Gramma was here we wouldn't be lost." He he he. Smart kid.

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We finally got through the muck and mire of beaurocracy and will have our online store open later this evening or early tomorrow morning. Along with that will be a new blog with articles and information related to gardening and anything else we happen to get into with our business. We're doing some routine contract work, fixing broken windows, designing gardens, light electrical repair, plumbing, and other home improvement projects. We're already working on our first job which has presented some fun challengs for us, and produced squeals of delight from the lady of the house. She's thrilled that things are getting done!

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Joe got a speeding ticket over the weekend. What's bad is that about two months ago, he got two speeding tickets in two weeks. This will make his third one in a year and, under New York State law, his license is to be revoked. He'll be working with our attorney to see if there are any plea deals to be made so that he can keep his license. He's furious with himself but also feels strongly that his vanity plates are "cop magnets." I've heard other people complain of the same thing. Joe's plates say "JOEDIRTE."

He's been pretty stressed lately, burning his candle at multiple ends. He goes to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 8:30 until 1:00 and then spends the rest of the day on his reading assignments. He's taking 3 literature courses and has tons of reading to do. On Mondays and Wednesdays he works from noon until 8:00 PM at the garden center, as well as on Saturdays and Sundays from 7:30 to 5:00. On Friday and Saturday nights he tends bar from 6:00 until around 1:00. When he's not working or going to school, his girlfriend wants a lot of his time. We heard him fussin' at her last night on the phone. He just wanted to stay home, get his reading done, and get to bed at a decent time. She was apparently being pissy about him wanting to stay home and he fussed at her about that, too. Can't say as I blame him. He says he feels like he's operating in a fog lately.

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And you still want to know why I don't shop at WalMart?

For months, politicians and activists have been saying that the low prices at the world's largest retailer, Wal-Mart Stores, come at a tremendous cost to its low-paid employees. They point to lawsuits that contend the company discriminates against women and forces low-paid employees to work through lunch breaks and after their shifts, without extra compensation. Wal-Mart has also been boosting its political contributions to stop initiatives aimed at forcing the retailer to raise pay and benefits.

More to the story:

...but they felt that the company had gone too far with certain new policies. Among them were moves to cut the hours of full-time employees from 40 hours a week to 32 hours, along with a corresponding cut in wages, and to compel workers to be available for shifts around the clock.

In addition, the shifts would be decided not by managers, but by a computer at company headquarters. Employees could find themselves working 7 a.m. to 4 p.m. one week and noon to 9 p.m. the next. "So workers cannot pick up their children after school everyday, and part-timers cannot keep another job because they can be called to work anytime," says Vasquez.

In addition to scheduling changes and reduction in hours, workers are now required to call an 800 number when they are sick. "If we are at an emergency room and spend the night in a hospital and cannot call the number, they won't respect that," says Larosa, who has worked at the store for six years. "It will be counted as an unexcused absence."

See the full article here.

The article points out that one attempt to unionize in Canada was met with WalMart shutting down the store. If the employees at EVERY store vote to unionize, what's WalMart going to do, shut down all their stores?

Gestapo management, if you ask me...

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Have you priced mattresses lately? We currently sleep on a motionless waterbed. The bladder is just about 15 years old and, over the years, has "stretched" to the point where, if we want any degree of firmness, we have to fill it to the point where it bulges above the top of the bed rails. We're waking up stiff and sore mornings with aches and pains in our backs and hips. Even the chiropractor agrees that it's not doing our spines any good, nor is it providing us with any good support.

So, just for shits and giggles I stopped off at Raymour and Flanigan after work yesterday. What we need is firm support yet not so firm that it feels like a slab of concrete. We've fallen in love with the pillow-top designs because, while you get firm support, you also get luxurious softness to lay on.

Long story short, it appears that, in order to get that California King Size mattress, it's going to run us about $3,000 for what we want. Even Queen and full-sized ones are running close to $2,000. So, the options are to get the cheapest mattress we can find and probably end up no better than we are right now (which would be a huge waste of money), or bust the big buck and get what we want/need. Even something in the middle is going to cost us a couple of grand.

Man, when did it get so expensive to sleep? For that kind of money, those mattresses should sing, dance, and tell jokes...

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How is it that power can be restored to an entire state within 24 hours after three earthquakes (the first one being a 6.7 magnitude) in Hawaii, but there are still thousands without power after a snowstorm in Buffalo almost a week ago?

I've seen the argument that workers in Buffalo have had to try to maneuver around snow-filled streets but hey, they had to maneuver around impassable streets in Hawaii, too, what with the rocks and boulders and buildings blocking roads.

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It appears that Ben Roethlisberger has returned from the off-season, finally. In his first four games he seemed tentative and hurried, carrying an anemic QB rating of under 35. This past weekend, he topped the league with a 158.3 quarterback rating bringing his overall rating up to 60 points, well below what he usually enjoys.

Hell, even Jake Plummer has a higher rating (not by much).

Matt Leinart and his Cardinals put in quite a strong first half last night but somehow managed to let a 20-0 halftime lead end up as a 24-23 defeat. However, the rookie carries a QB rating of 84, well above veterans like Roethlisberger, Plummer, Favre, Culpepper and Vick.

There's also something wrong with a team whose quarterback is only 100 yards behind the team's running back (in rushing yards). In one game a couple of years ago, Michael Vick ran for 173 yards, and passed for the same amount. I wonder if anyone has considered putting a defensive back on him to contain him and make him throw more? He's really not all that great as a passer, averaging only 135 passing yards per game.

The most exciting thing about Sunday's late game was that the Broncos played the Raiders. I'm a Broncos fan, Lisa's a Raiders fan. That game should have been a blowout but, instead, Denver went the entire second half without a score, and the Raiders scored only a field goal. Major yawner.

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The Georgia O'Keeffe Color and Conservation exhibit is coming to our locale, and will be housed in the Memorial Art Gallery through the end of December.

We're thrilled to death and can't wait to get a free day to get there to see it.

Georgie O'Keeffe's floral works are seductive, erotic, and colorful. She was masterful in her use of colors, creating a sort of "emotion" with every piece she produced. You can feel something when you look at them. Some are very dark (Jack in the Pulpit IV) and others, like Cup of Silver to the left show a range of emotions.

O'Keeffe is a bit of an icon with the lesbian community as many of her floral renderings are erotically suggestive of female sensuality. Even Corn, shown at the right, is darkly erotic.

She was brilliant.

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Finally, for the Ambeau family:

At one point during a game, the coach said to little Ricky, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"

Ricky nodded in the affirmative.

"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?"

The little boy nodded yes.

"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?"

Again the little boy nodded.

"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain it to your father."

A day late...

2006-10-12T11:49:00.000-04:00

I missed National Coming Out Day yesterday. My little granddaughter had her surgery yesterday and we were at the hospital all day. She looks great and has yet to whimper or complain about her injuries at all. She whines a little about having to take penicillin to prevent infection (tastes like ASS), and was bullshit when she awoke and found they'd taken her pajama bottoms off her and her underwear was showing. She's a tough little cookie, I'll tell you.

Anyway, sassy sort of "tagged" anyone that was reading her blog to tell their story of coming out, so here's mine.

I was born a poor black child...

Wait, wrong story...

As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to play with the boys. It wasn't that I liked the boys all that much, it's just that I preferred their activities to those of the girls in the neighborhood. I loved playing baseball and football and basketball and climbing trees and running and riding bicycles and throwing rocks. I was a "tomboy" through and through. I liked BEING WITH the girls, though.

I remember being quite young and still in Catholic school. Whenever our class was let out to go to the "lavatory," I used to stand on the toilet seat and peek over into the next stall to see if I could see the girls' hoo-hoos. There was a part of me that for some reason really needed to see if I could see them. The thought of their nakedness excited me for some reason.

We lived in a small dairy community that was sort of sheltered from the real world so I didn't know about words like "queer" and had no idea of the concept of homosexuality. There was a part of me that wondered why I acted the way I did, but I didn't wonder about it all that much, I suppose convincing myself that it was the way everyone was. But I knew my interests differed from all the other girls.

When I was in eighth grade, Miss Carpenter came to our school and was a 7th and 8th grade math and algebra teacher. I didn't have her for classes because I was in regents courses and she didn't teach regents. There was something about her that drew me to her and I went out of my way to walk near or with her during class change. She was my 7th period study hall teacher and, when I got a pass from her to go to the library or the bathroom, I used to save the signed passes so that I had something of hers. Anything. I had such a major crush on her it wasn't funny.

By that age, I was aware, vaguely, of people that others called "queer" because they liked people of the same gender. I began to wonder about myself but never really worried all that much about it. Since I was abused so badly at home, I rationalized to myself that I was just happy to have someone to look up to.

I "went steady" with some boys in junior high but for very short periods of time. In high school, I had boyfriends as well but spent most of my time out on the sports fields with other girls and found that I really enjoyed participating in these types of activities with them. In my junior year I went with a guy named Gary. I really, really liked this guy and, looking back, I think it was because he was so attentive to me at first. I really needed attention a lot.

The summer between my junior and senior year, Gary got married to a girl he had apparently been seeing the whole time he was supposed to be "going steady" with me. I was crushed. Heartbroken. And I entered into a self-destructive mode.

I gave up my virginity to the first guy to come along and offer to take it and, for the next couple of years, I gave myself to a long string of men.

I joined the Army out of high school and, in basic training, learned that I had not really lived and seen all that the world had to offer. My platoon was full of 40 women of all shapes and sizes, all colors, all religions, and all walks of life. It was the first time I had ever been "exposed" to people of color and I was terrified of the black girls in my platoon. I found myself drawn, however, to the other "athletic" girls in the platoon.

After my initial entry training, I was sent to Okinawa. I was fortunate in that I was able to get on the women's softball team and instead of doing the things I was trained to do, we went around the Far East on a "goodwill" tour, playing teams from other countries. It was here that I met Sonya.

Sonya was not bull-dyke butch, but there was a butch quality about her that both attracted me and scared me a little bit. But one night she said to me, "I can't wait to get you in bed," and I remember thinking how brazen she was, talking about it openly like that, especially since we both had top secret security clearances and could lose them easily if anyone suspected we were even TALKING about being homos, let alone BEING homos..

But, I succumbed. I'd like to say that my first experience with another woman was a good one, something beautiful, but it was not. But, since I had no self-respect, I stayed with her for a while, hating what we were doing, but not knowing why I couldn't just walk away from it.

Then Sharon came along. Sharon openly admitted to me that she was gay and that she was concerned about me being with Sonya. Sharon was a good friend and taught me some things about myself. I ended up over at the Royal Hotel with her one night after we'd been out drinking. She was tender, loving, masterful, and patiently taught me things. I didn't really need to end things with Sonya as she had begun to see someone else who could "enjoy" her more than I did, so I didn't have to worry about that. I absolutely adored Sharon but when I say I loved her, I can't say I was IN love with her. I admired her, respected her, and was grateful to her that she helped me to find some self-respect and dignity for myself. When she transferred back to the states, I was alone, and lonely. I stashed that size twelve secret into a size six niche in my brain, and hoped it would stay there.

Not long after Sharon left, I met LeRoy. He was very attentive to me, was handsome, and treated me with respect. We dated every night for about 4 months and soon got an apartment together. We were married six months later.

I was relatively happy for the most part. We had a new marriage, I got pregnant, we transferred to San Antonio and bought a brand new home, had a new car. It was like I had been given a new life. In those early years, I had a very healthy sexual relationship with my husband, unlike any other man I had ever slept with before. Perhaps I had confused good sex with love back then, I don't know.

We didn't have a bad marriage, we just didn't have a good one. Frankly, I lost interest in sex, NOT because of the secret I had buried in my past, but because the only time my husband would touch me was when he was interested in sex. I got to where I felt cheap and dirty again, like I had with all of those other men before.

I woke up one morning, after twelve years of marriage and three kids, and realized that I couldn't raise happy, well-adjusted kids if I wasn't happy and well-adjusted myself. I filed for divorce and, a year later, after sixteen years on active duty, left the Army.

I moved back to New York, and settled into life as a civilian, working temporary jobs to try and support my family. I longed for someone in my life but rationalized that I needed to be a mother and be home for my kids and NOT be like those single mothers you see out there, leaving their kids at home while they're out partying. I also rationalized that I had young, impressionable daughters and needed to set a good example for them. I kidded myself very well. Occasionally, thoughts of other women crept into my brain, but I worked hard at trying to push them out and reel in thoughts of men. It was, after all, the societal norm I was born into, right? I successfully hid behind my kids for fourteen years. I did not date at all.

In 1999, with Al Gore's invention of the internet in full swing, I became a member of women.com and started hanging out at the weight loss board. I had quit smoking a year before that and was really concerned about weight gain (and rightfully so).

I met Kim at women.com and we struck up a long-distance friendship using ICQ as our primary venue. I had commented once that, if I were to have another relationship with anyone, it would be with a woman. I surprised myself with that revelation, not only to her, but that I'd sort of said it out loud. Kim responded in like fashion, although she was married at the time. That size twelve problem had begun to burst the confines of it's size six container...

Our relationship intensified and took on sexual overtones. When I flew out ot California to visit her on her birthday, we "consummated" our relationship. Kim had a lot of guilt for having violated her marital vows but a month later, when I flew out to be with her in Sacramento for a conference she was attending, we both fell into the abyss that our relationship had become, and neither of us was inclined to try to stop it, even though we knew it was going to be a painful journey.

Kim made promises to me, promises about love and forever, and promises of the future but, in the end, she claimed that her interest in me had been "titillating" at best. She swore I was too needy because I wanted more from her than she could give. Of course I did -- I loved her deeply and wanted us to be together more than anything else in the world. But I really don't think that made me needy. Kim took up the practice of letting me go and then reeling me back in, then letting me go, then reeling me back in. My head was so fucked up that I finally sat down one night with my son, who was almost 16, and poured my heart out to him. He was, after all, my best friend. I cried as I confessed to him who I really was, and he just put his arms around me and didn't say a word. I don't think he knew what to say.

But there, it was out.

Next was my oldest daughter and her response was to ask "Well, are you happy?" I really thought I was (as Kim and I were on an "up" again) and I told her "Yes, I am." "Then that's all that matters," she said.

Eventually, things with Kim ended, and ended ugly. But when that happened, I already had Lisa in my life and was drifting away from Kim and toward Lisa anyway. The ugliness of the end of our relationship broke my heart as I knew I would always love Kim on some level. She, on the other had, had to convince herself that there was something ugly and dark in me, I suppose, so that she could go on with her marriage and justify to herself what had happened.

Eventually, Lisa moved in with me, and we became closer and closer and Kim became more and more distant. Lisa and I went to Vermont and entered into a Civil Union in 2001. It changed our relationship, but we didn't tell anyone about our civil union. Lisa was not yet out to her family (even though we both KNEW that they knew, but just weren't saying anything). In 2004, we were married in Niagara Falls, Canada and, after having been denied marital benefits where I work, I brought suit against my employer for discrimination. Prior to that, I wasn't out to anyone at work -- not because I felt I had to hide it, but because it just didn't feel right to mention anything at that time.

Like it or not, we were out publicly once the news broke of our lawsuit. The day after the news article appeared in the local rag, my email box and voicemail box at work were full of messages of support both from friends and from perfect strangers. How empowering that was!

Lisa came out to her family later that year and now we no longer have that stressor in our relationship -- it had started to come between us. Of course, our neighbors read the newspaper as well, and they wished us the best in our quest for marriage equality as well.

Living "out" has made our relationship that much better -- we're relaxed when we go places with people because we don't have to hide anything. We're not in-your-face out, but neither of us is afraid to mention the other in conversation. I don't like the term "wife," as its a heterosexual term that, in my mind, defines specific gender roles, and therefore do not refer to Lisa as my wife. She's still my partner, in every sense of the word. She's the Ying to my Yang. The cream in my coffee. The sandwich with my soup. The up to my down. The macaroni to my cheese. The gas in my engine... You get the idea.

And, wonderfully, we find that each time we come out to someone, it gets easier and easier and easier.

OUCH!

2006-10-09T13:45:00.000-04:00

So, there we were, having a nice visit with my aunt and uncle Friday night at their house, talking about the Fall Foliage Festival that we'd be going to Saturday morning. We were talking about going to the breakfast they were having at the school, and then going to the festivities afterward.

Around 10:30, my cell phone rang. It was Michelle, my oldest daughter. It seems that Cherlyn, my youngest granddaughter who is 5½ (pictured with her mom), was riding her bike and rode it right into the back of her daddy's Blazer. They were transferring her, via ambulance, from the rinky-dink hospital where they live up here to Strong Hospital's Golisano Hospital for Children. She has a broken nose (badly), the hard palette is broken, a fracture in the eye socket near the eye, and a fracture along the bottom edge of the brow. She also had a laceration in her mouth where the upper lip meets the gums.

We packed up and left my aunt's house and made the trip back home, an hour north. I dropped Lisa off at the house, packed a bag for an extended stay at the emergency room (drinks, snacks, etc.) and off I went.

After 8½ hours in the Pediatric ED, we got home Saturday morning around 7:30. They had done x-rays of her face, a CAT scan of her head, and another of her belly, and another x-ray of her thumb. They did the CAT scan on her little tummy because she was vomiting blood and, even though they were certain that it was merely blood that she'd swallowed, they wanted to make sure there weren't any other injuries that hand't been discovered yet.

They sutured her mouth (an oral maxillofacial dentist) and sent her home with instructions to return Monday morning at 9:00. We all fell exhausted into bed and slept for a couple of hours. Lisa had coffee going when we got up around 10:30 or so.

The poor little thing couldn't eat or drink, as her upper lip had swollen to a point where it was the same size as an adult's big toe. She said it hurt to swallow and we had to beg and plead with her to take fluids. We were finally able to get her to take fluids using a child's medicine syringe. A young man who lives next door to us is an EMT and he came over Saturday and Sunday to check on her and change the packing on her nose (it would ooze and become disgusting and had a bad odor).

This is Cher yesterday. When she woke up, her eyes were swollen shut and no eyelashes were visible at all. We found a facial ice pack (a mask sort of thing) and were better able to ice her eyes and face with it. She seemed much more relaxed with it, and even sat with the whole thing covering her face, for more than 20 minutes, just enjoying the coolness of it. We felt it did a lot of good for her.

Today she had to go back in to the Oral Surgery Clinic to have it looked at. The doctor was pleased with how much better she looked (even though he didn't see her Saturday after we all got). He removed the packing from her broken little nose and, all things considered, we think she looks a lot better today.

This is Cher today. While it may not seem it, she looks much better. After they removed the packing from her nose, all of a sudden the little monkey had an appetite and inhaled some applesauce and a couple of french toast sticks. She drank nearly a pint of orange juice, too. I suspect the packing pressing against the fractured palette may well have been the source of her difficulty in swallowing.

She's supposed to go back Wednesday morning for surgery. They'll do what they can to fix her nose and they think they may need to insert a plate around the fractured bones in her face for support. Surprisingly, the plate will dissolve in a few months. Amazing. I think the doctors were gently trying to prepare my daughter and son-in-law for the possibility that Cher may not come out of it in the same state she went into it (before the accident).

And I've also been working on Michelle trying to help her to accept that it is going to be what it is going to be. I'm not going to think the worse-case scenario and I don't think they should, either. Besides, they do remarkable things with facial reconstruction these days and, if the kids can't afford it, I know that there are grandparents and great-grandparents and aunts and uncles that will all pitch in to help pay for any surgery that health insurance won't cover.

What amazes me about this little girl is that she has not yet complained once about any pain or dicomfort. She has taken it like a little trooper and the only wimpering we have heard from her has been when we needed to give her penicillin, which she didn't want to do because it hurt to swallow so much. I pointed out to Lisa and to Joe that, any one of us adults, would be whining and complaining about how bad it hurts, but we heard not one peep of complaint out of this tough little girl. I told her yesterday that she's my hero because she's so brave. She actually tried to smile.

They've gone home now but will be back tomorrow evening so they don't have to get up at o-dark-thirty to be at the hospital by 8:00 (I live only 10 minutes away from it). I promised her I'd have macaroni and cheese ready for dinner for her.

They'll do surgery on Wednesday and they expect to send her home same day.

I was reminded of a line from Fried Green Tomatoes throughout this whole thing:

"My momma always said there's a separate God for children."

Indeed.

Team Hoyt

2006-10-06T10:24:00.000-04:00

I am in awe of this story, and the video.

TGIT

2006-10-05T09:10:00.000-04:00

Yay! Short week! Taking tomorrow off for down time...to vegetate and hopefully catch up a bit on my knitting.

I got this from Patti-Cake:

13 Random Things You Like:

1) Knitting
2) Chocolate Panda Paws Ice Cream
3) Idgie curled up next to me while I knit
4) Cuddling on a cold night
5) Cool, crisp fall days
6) Visiting my aunt and uncle
7) Doing me~me's
8) Surfing the web
9) Reading
10) Football season
11) Pay Day
12) Time off from work
13) My son's fresh haircut

12 Movies

1) First Wives Club
2) The Miracle of Our Lady of Fatima
3) Shawshank Redemption
4) Grease II
5) Signs
6) Braveheart
7) Gladiator
8) Sleepers
9) Miss Congeniality
10) Brokeback Mountain
11) National Treasure
12) Road Trip

10 things about me

1) I color my hair to cover the gray
2) I'm grossly overweight
3) 25 years ago I was grossly UNDERweight
4) Nuns scare me
5) I work at a community college
6) I knit
7) I'm passionate about gardening
8) I never met my father until I was 35.
9) I have no relationship with my mother
10) I try hard to be a better parent than my own were.

9 People You Talked to Yesterday

1) Lisa
2) Joe
3) Taylor
4) Amber
5) Karen
6) Carmen
7) David
8) My lawyer
9) Mary Jo

8 Favorite Foods

1) Pasta
2) Panda Paws Ice Cream
3) McDonald's Fries
4) Broccoli
5) Cheez-its with red pepper hummus
6) Scalloped Potatoes
7) Alaskan King Crab
8) Steak

7 Things You are Wearing

1) Clothes
2) Watch
3) Sneakers
4) Bra
5) Glasses
6) Rings
7) Medical ID

5 Things You Touch Everyday

1) Lisa
2) Keyboard
3) Keys
4) Cell phone
5) Coffee cup

4 Shows You Watch

1) The Closer
2) CSI
3) Jericho
4) Law & Order: SVU

3 Favorite Actors/Actress

1) Mariska Hargitay
2) Jennifer Beals
3) Mel Gibson

2 Most Recent People You've kissed

1) Lisa
2) Joe

One Person You Could Spend Your Life With
1) Lisa

=====================

The Breast Cancer Site

Tuesday rant -- and it's a long one

2006-10-03T10:47:00.000-04:00

Blogs and the web are abuzz with the horrors of the shootings in the Amish school yesterday.

I think SassyFemme stated it as succinctly as possible:

On top of that, I hate that the damn photographers covering the Amish shooting are showing pictures of the Amish on TV and online. They know how these people feel about pictures, it's not a game. Haven't they suffered enough already without having their pictures taken and blasted all over the place! How hard is it to have a little respect for people, especially people who are hurting?

As Denis Waitley said, "Bad news sells," and, the more sensational the media can make it, the bigger the return is for them. Not only are these folks victimized when violence hits their community, but then they're victimized by the media as well.

I'm going to go off on a rant now, that should bring all the rats and bugs out from under their rocks.

Anyone can buy a gun,for the most part. Oh, sure, if you want a handgun there's the requisite waiting period while the conduct a "background" check on you, but for the most part, you can arm yourself to the teeth for this sort of massacre that sickened us all yesterday.

And what do we need guns for, really? Let's look at the arguments.

"Guns don't kill people, people kill people." No, people with guns kill people. It's harder to kill a dozen schoolgirls with a knife. A gun take the killer away from the act and makes it purely mechanical. A knife, or a fist, makes it more personal. Guns make it easier for the cowards using them to hide themselves, avoid detection, and avoid having to see the consequence of their actions.
"I need the gun to hunt." Bullshit. Before the white man landed on this continent, the Indians sure as hell didn't need guns to hunt, and they provided for their communities quite nicely using bows and arrows. If you want to hunt Bambi, do it with a bow and arrow, don't hide behind a gun. There's no sport in that.
"I need the gun for security." Bullshit. If there weren't so many guns out there in the world, we wouldn't need to defend ourselves from them. Oh, sure, you can argue that you need the gun to defend yourself in the event that drug-crazed hippies break into your house to steal your mother's china and your father's stamp collection but is your intent to use deadly force to keep those things from getting stolen? Why else would you have a gun for security, if not to use it to take a life?
The Second Amendment. Sorry, but I think the spirit of the second amendment is outdated. That's my opinion, now, and I certainly don't advocate taking away any rights that are granted in the Constitution any more than I would advocate amending the constitution to discriminate. But let's be realistic here. What militia does your average gun owner belong to? Statistically, only the lower percentage belong to the NRA, and that's certainly not a militia, either. And let's be realistic here when we look at the probability of a bunch of gun-totin' folks trying to overthrow the government that has access to high-tech weapons, rockets, and nukes -- as if your handgun will win that battle.

I still strongly advocate for some form of gun control. Why, for example, would anyone need an assault rifle? Home security? To shoot Bambi? Get real!

President George W. Bush instructed Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and Education Secretary Margaret Spellings to convene a meeting in Washington next week among educators and law enforcement officials to come up with ways to deal with school violence.

What are they going to do, figure out a new way to say "Tsk, tsk, that's tragic?" This doesn't take a mental giant to figure out. Making laws doesn't stop the violence but taking the tools away from those who would march into a school heavily armed with the intent to kill WOULD go a long way toward stopping mass violence in our schools. Note I said mass violence. There's no real answer to violence alone but taking away the resources with which to commit these types of horrendous acts is just the first step.

I don't just blame guns. I blame parents as well. The greatest survival skill our kids have these days is how to deflect the blame for their own actions onto someone or something else. A large part of this is because many parents don't know the first thing about teaching coping skills and responsibility/accountability to their kids. A lot of them don't know the first thing about taking accountability for their own actions, let alone teaching their kids to. Here are some examples of people I've come across in my own life:

A 15 year old boy tells a teacher to go fuck herself when she dismisses him from the classroom for repeated disruptions and a refusal to stop disrupting class. Ultimately, he is suspended from school. Mom and Dad blame the teacher for not being able to cope with being told to go fuck herself. This same boy is dismissed from the football team because, as the coach tells his parents, he's "uncoachable." Mom and Dad say it's because the coach doesn't know the first thing about working with kids.

A 17 year old girl is given her mother's old (2003) vehicle when mom gets a new one. She is told specifically by her parents that nobody else is to drive the vehicle, and her boyfriend is told, by the parents, that he's not to drive it. The parents are called by a friend in the local police department to tell them that the boyfriend has just been detained after having left a known crack-house -- in the girl's vehicle. Dad says "NO MORE CAR," and Mom says she has to have the car to drive to soccer practice, to her job, and back and forth to school, making "just this once" not only possible, but probable, and likely "just this once" will turn into full use of the vehicle once more.

A 14 year old girl's mother calls me to see if the girl is at my house. I tell her no. She indicates that the girl told her that she'd be spending the night at my house with my daughter. After frantic phone calls and searches by a lot of parents, I run into the girl at a local convenience store and tell her she should get her butt home. She's grounded for two weeks but two days later her mother tells me that she took her off restriction because she didn't want her daughter to hate her. I'm thinking the daughter counts on and uses this emotional blackmail a lot.

A 19 year old boy buys a case of coke and tells his mother and younger siblings that they're not to touch HIS pop. One of the younger siblings has a coke anyway and, when the 19 year old returns home and finds one pop gone, he tosses the entire contents of the refrigerator all over the kitchen, splattering walls, ceiling, floor, curtains and anything else in sight. His mother dismisses his behavior by saying that the younger sibling provoked it by drinking the older brother's coke.

After witnessing a 15 year old boy kick my then 8 year old son's bike causing the bike to tip over and causing severe road rash on my son, asks his mother why she would listen to "...that old bitch" when I call her to tell her what her son has done. She simply says to me, "My son wouldn't do something like that."

In Chicago, teenage girls douse underclassmen with urine, feces, pig intestines and other disgusting materials, while clubbing and beating them with buckets. One girl suffered a severe laceration on her head. The girls involved in the hazing were disqualified from the prom as punishment by the school. Their parents reacted by suing the school and putting on a prom of their own. One of the girls accused in the assault actually said "It's not like anyone DIED or anything." Oh, and, let's not forget that parents supplied the alcohol at the event.

I could go on, but I think it's clear that there is a generation of bad parents raising another generation of human beings that have no concept of human decency, common courtesy, and responsibility. They believe they owe their offspring a car, a cell phone, and a college education and do not ask that their offspring do anything toward earning or even helping out with these things that they are given.

These types of horrific crimes are just in their early stages. I think we're going to see them more and more frequently and, as we do, we'll be looking for everyone to blame BUT ourselves. And maybe it's time that we all took a good look in the mirror and asked ourselves "What am I doing to help with this problem?" Sitting around bitching about it doesn't do any good, nor does it solve anything. Blogging about it might raise awareness a bit here and there but, again, it doesn't solve the problem. Writing to state and federal lawmakers about your concerns is the first positive step toward solving the problem.

We need laws in place that control the ownership and use of any type of gun. We need laws that govern the secure storage of guns in the home so that children cannot get to them thinking they're a quick fix to their problems. We need to hold parents accountable for the actions of their children a lot more than we do. And we need to hold children accountable for their actions as well.

It seems to me that homosexuals getting married isn't what this country has to worry about as far as what will undermine the very core of civilization. It's guns and violence with guns that are truly what we should be worried about.

Just Another Manic Monday

2006-10-02T08:49:00.000-04:00

The drive into work today was beautiful, what with all the trees turning colors, along with the brush and wildflowers. The sumac along the highways is absolutely breathtaking with its deep red colors. This coming weekend is the Fall Foliage Festival and, according to the early reports, it's supposed to be sunny and about 68 degrees. The drive down in the sun, with the foliage nearly at its peak, promises to be gorgeous.

Our first contract job started over the weekend. It's my foster-sister and her husband, who gave us a laundry list of things that need to be done in their 1800's vintage farm house. They recently gutted their kitchen and completely re-did it, from the floor supports all the way to the ceiling. And, when I say they gutted it, I mean they gutted it -- you could see DIRT where the floor used to be.

I cleaned and reinstalled two hard-wired smoke detectors, and installed two dimmer switches. Lisa replaced a handle on the garage door and then we both set in to doing some of the larger items. There are old-fashioned grates in the floor (from a very old and now non-existent heating system) and you could look right through and see the earth floor in the basement. Needless to say, there's cold air that comes up through there during the winter, so those needed to be covered.

We went down into the basement and looked at the flooring underneath to see where the support beams/joists were, and to evaluate just how we were going to attack this job. Amazing -- the floor is comprised of rough hewn trees. You can see the chop marks where they created the flat side to put up against the floor supports. Elswhere there are steel beams that assist the rough hewn trees in supporting the house.

Anyway, we had to cut larger holes so that we could enlarge them enough to secure new boards into the opening and attach them to the support beams. Even the wood floor is old, and made of real tongue-and-groove wood that ranges in thickness from 3/4" to 1" (we suspect that was intended to level the floor better). We got two of the four openings completed. They sure look funny with new wood inserted into the old, but apparently the plan is to carpet the floor when the work is all done anyway.

While it doesn't sound to us like we got much done, we know we did because we worked all day (actually, from about 10:00 until 5:00). We won't go back next weekend because we have recreational things planned for ourselves, but we'll go back the following weekend and every Saturday after that, for the most part, until we work through the list. We gave them an "estimate" of roughly $730 before taxes for the whole job. Some of the items on the list include removal of a tree, installation of gutters on the garage, removing old flooring and leveling a floor so that new flooring can be installed, installation of door casings and floor mouldings throughout, installation of doors and repair of windows with either broken/cracked glass or frames that don't work. There's a lot of work to be done and her husband just doesn't have time to do everything because he's a dairy farmer and, two years ago, his father died so he now has his father's farming to oversee as well.

She tells me that their neighbor is already starting on their own list.

We've decided that we're only going to work on Saturdays, for the time being. We need at least one down day each week so that we're not worked to death and feeling like we never have five minutes to sit and catch our breath. Football season is the perfect time to do it, and football gives us the perfect excuse.

=========================

Speaking of football...

I got all the early games correct in my picks for the pool, and only got one wrong for the late(r) game. I also got the Sunday night game wrong -- who would have thought that Seattle would have allowed Chicago to run all over them that way?

I was about mid-way down the list as far as overall score, but this good week I had this week has brought me into a three-way tie for first place overall...a position shared with Lisa and another player.

We expected the Cincinnati/New England game to be more competitive than it turned out to be, but that was the only real disappointment of the day, as far as expectations. The San Diego/Baltimore game was one that kept the heart racing, as well as the Washington/Jacksonville game. Two fiercely competitive games that had all the drama.

Speaking of drama, did you see what happened in the game between Dallas and Tennessee? Dallas had just scored another touchdown and their center, Andre Gurode somehow lost his helmet. Albert Haynesworth, a tackle for Tennessee STOMPED on Gurode's face with his steel spiked cleats, causing Gurode to require more than 35 stitches in his face. Haynesworth drew a penalty but was not ejected from the game until he took off his helmet and threw it on the ground in protest over the first penalty -- it was at that point that he was ejected.

As Chris Collinsworth and his fellow commentators said, there needs to be criminal charges filed for Haynesworth's actions yesterday.

And apparently Jeff Fisher thinks so, too. He vowed to Bill Parcells that, if the league didn't punish Haynesworth to HIS satisfaction (Fisher's), the team would take their own action against him as well. Jeff Fisher is a class-act -- NO coach should accept that sort of behavior from their players, regardless of who they are.

I think criminal charges should be filed since, if he'd done that anywhere else besides a football field, he'd have been arrested.

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Joe got a phone call on Saturday morning (while he was at work at the garden center) from the new restaurant down the road that opened a month or so ago. He had put in an application there to tend bar (he's gone to bartender's school) and they were calling him asking him if he'd come in Saturday night. He agreed, called to let me know he'd not be home when we got home, and off he went.

They just shook his hand, showed him the bar, pointed out the cash register, and that was it. Joe said that the servers had been making their own drinks up to that point and, apparently, Saturday night was the bar's "grand opening." He said the cash register was a touch-screen type that he couldn't figure out how to use, and none of the servers knew where any of the drink-making supplies were. He was pretty disgusted with the whole setup, but agreed to work again next weekend. He figures it can't get worse, only better as he learns more. I tend to agree.

He made just under $100 total for the night, and really liked that part of it, too. Apparently the hourly pay is $4.25/hour and he gets to keep all the tips. He's been looking for something outside of the garden center, as he's afraid that schlepping 200 lb. trees for a living will make him old before his time. I tend to agree with that, too.

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I'm falling behind on the little guy's afghan. Not by a lot, but enough to stress me a bit. I'm only two rows behind right now but, add that to the four I should get done tonight, and that adds a bit of anxiety. No, normally six rows aren't all that much, but these rows are just under 300 stitches per row. It takes me about 25 minutes to complete a row, which means I'd have to knit for nearly 3 hours straight to get caught up. I can do that, I think, as long as Idgie doesn't climb up on my lap, look at me with those beautiful little adoring eyes, and stretch out with her little paws on my arm, daring me not to pet and stroke her. Yes, this is why I'm behind...

=========================

I've been forgetting my meds a lot lately -- both the morning meds (Prozac) and the night-time ones (Neurontin). Probably explains the headaches I've had lately. I can't figure out why, all of a sudden, I'm forgetting them. I have a routine both in the morning and at night and I just seem to be skipping over that step. Freudian?

=========================

I've decided to shut down my Marriage Equality blog -- trying to maintain so many web sites (four blogs, a web store, and a web page) just adds to the manic feelings. And, since things have slowed down so much on our case, I just decided to incorporate that stuff into my daily blog.

Holy Matrimony, Batman!

2006-09-29T14:01:00.000-04:00

Massachusetts Judge Allows Out-Of-State Lesbians to Marry!

BOSTON, Massachusetts (Reuters) -- A Rhode Island lesbian couple won approval from a judge to marry in Massachusetts, paving the way for the first legal wedding of a same-sex couple from outside the only U.S. state were gay marriage is allowed.

Massachusetts Supreme Court Justice Thomas E. Connolly ruled that the wedding of Wendy Becker and Mary Norton, of Providence, Rhode Island, could go forward because their home state has no laws specifically banning same-sex marriages.

Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, a 2008 Republican presidential hopeful, has sought to prevent out-of-state same-sex couples from marrying in Massachusetts.

Conservative Christian groups have expressed concern that such marriages would turn the liberal New England state into America's gay-marriage capital, a Las Vegas for same-sex weddings.

But gay-rights advocates have campaigned to allow the practice since Massachusetts' highest court ruled in 2003 that it was unconstitutional to ban gay marriage. That ruling cleared the way for America's first same-sex marriages in May the following year.

Since then, more than 8,000 gay couples have wed.

Friday's case was focused on a law passed in 1913 that bars out-of-state couples from marrying in Massachusetts if their own states fail to recognize the union.

"After a very long engagement, we are thrilled to be able to marry and provide our family with the legal protection and social recognition we deserve," said Becker, who has been with Norton for 19 years. They have two children.

Massachusetts Attorney General Thomas Reilly, whose office had opposed Becker and Norton's bid to marry, said the state would not appeal the judge's ruling, leaving it to Rhode Island to clarify its stance on gay marriage.

"This has always been about respecting the laws of other states," Reilly said in a statement. "Rhode Island is now free to address the Superior Court's decision as it sees fit."

A spokesman for Rhode Island Gov. Donald Carcieri had no immediate comment.

Romney has been an outspoken critic of gay marriage, which is a hot-button issue with conservative voters in the United States.

Massachusetts lawmakers are due to vote in November -- after the state and national elections -- on whether to amend the constitution to ban gay marriage.

Methinks this is gonna open a whole new can-o-worms as far as the religious right is concerned. Right about now, they've gotta be poopin' their drawers!

Friday Funnies

2006-09-29T10:37:00.000-04:00

Do you like irreverent humor? Give this a look-see...

Family Guy: Osama Bin Laden - video powered by Metacafe

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Did you hear about the blonde who never learned to water ski?
She couldn't find a lake with a slope. (badump bump)
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The corner shop baker was a true artist when it came to making birthday cakes. One customer asked him "Can you make a birthday cake for my wife? She's an optician." The baker agreed and produced a birthday cake in the perfect shape of a winking eye, complete with eyelashes.

His next customer said, "Can you make a birthday cake for my husband? He's a dentist." He agreed and produced a cake in the shape of an open mouth, including the teeth and tongue.

At that moment another customer began to leave his shop when the baker asked, "Can I help you?" The lady turned and said, "No, I don't think so. It's my husband birthday today, but he's a gynecologist."
====================================
A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly.

"I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything."

He returns her gaze. "Anything?"

"Anything."

His voice softens. "Anything??"

"Absolutely anything."

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"
====================================
Brenda O'Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door, "Brenda, may I come in?" he asks. "I've somethin' to tell ya."

"Of course you can come in, you're always welcome, Tim. But where's my husband?"

"That's what I'm here to tell ya." There was an accident down at the Brewery."

"Oh no," cries Brenda. "Please don;t tell me..."

"I must, Brenda. Your husband Shamus is dead and gone. I'm sorry."

Finally she looked up at Tim. "How did it happen?"

"It was terrible, Brenda. He fell into a vat of beer and drowned."

"Oh my! You must tell me true, Tim. Did he at least go quickly?"

"Well, Brenda, no. Fact is, he got out three times to use the restroom."

====================================
When the driver of a huge trailer lost control of his rig, he plowed into an empty tollbooth and smashed it into pieces! He climbed down from his truck to survey the wreckage and within a matter of minutes, a truck pulled up and discharged a crew of transportation workers. The men picked up each broken piece of the former tollbooth and spread some kind of creamy substance on it. Then they began fitting the pieces together. In less than an hour, they had the entire tollbooth reconstructed and looking good as new.

"Astonishing!" the truck driver said to the crew chief. "What was the white stuff you used to get all the pieces together?"

The crew chief said, "Oh, that was tollgate booth paste."
====================================
Have a great weekend!

Reflections

2006-09-26T08:28:00.000-04:00

A long time ago -- probably six or seven years now, I started up an e-group entitled "Late Bloomers." I was still learning to live in my own skin, having recently embraced my sexuality and looking forward to the life ahead of me.

I belonged to the (now defunct)women.com message boards and invited women to my group if they showed any "interest" or "curiosity." I made some friends there, a couple of which I still correspond with.

One is now a lawyer down in Florida and we still chat from time to time over IM. The other, Leigh, lives in Texas and, I believe, works in the IT field in some way. She's also a "correspondent" with a new gay e-magazine.

This group was designed for women not unlike myself -- women who had lived for a long, long time trying to fit into some societal mode, denying who they were, and living miserable lives. A couple had contemplated suicide, some were still married and not willing to risk losing their children. We talked about our fears, our hopes and dreams, our feelings of guilt, and supported each other through a lot of turmoil.

I, too, was going through some stuff. I was having an affair with a married woman who played games with my head and my heart. Like Ennis DelMar in Brokeback Mountain, I wished I knew how to "quit" her because while my head said "RUN," my heart wouldn't give my feet purchase. It was a huge mistake in a lot of ways. But, in some ways, it taught me some things, too.

As time went on, the group as a whole seemed to grow as each individual member of that group grew. It has been a few years now since I let the group go. It didn't fail, however. Letting the group go was necessary because almost every single one of its members grew wings and learned to fly. I often wonder what became of our members. Have their lives changed? For the better? Worse? Have they found someone with whom they can share their lives?

Anyway, I sent out an email to folks regarding my lawsuit, asking for their input. This is the reply I got from Leigh:

I don't know if it will be righted in our lifetime.... look at the civil rights battles for blacks and for women.... but it will be righted one day, as those other issues have taught us. But the world evolves at it's own sluggish pace. When you feel despair in your battle - look behind you at what our sisters 100 or 200 years ago or even before went through. We do not disguise ourselves as spinsterly sisters or live in fear of our lives. We stand up and tell people exactly who we are. And each time we do, we strike a small mark on the canvas of time. And then there are the true heroes.... those of us who scream loudly from the rooftops and storm across the battlefields.

You are my hero, Pat. I am honored to have the chance to know you. I have seen you when you were at some pretty low points with all that Kim shit, but you picked yourself up by your bootstraps (and me, and a whole lot of other people too) and you kept us going. And you made a difference. Equality will come, if not for you, then (at least in part) because of you. Someday people will argue case law based on Martinez VS some poor Christian right schmuck.

I've never before, nor do I now, look at myself as a "hero." Lisa insists that there may be something to the fact that people use that term a lot when they talk to me about our legal case. After all, we've put it out there for the world to examine under a microscope, she says.

I prefer to look at it as a responsibility to our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters. As citizens of this country, we have a responsibility to pay taxes, vote, peform jury duties, and comply with the laws of our land. On occasion, we're asked to defend our country.

As a member of the GLBT community, we also have similar responsibilities. If there is a wrong that we have the resources to help right, then it is our responsibility to use those resources, whether it be financial donations, rallies, or legal actions.

When Lisa and I made the decision to go with this lawsuit, it was with the idea that we couldn't just sit back and wait for someone to build a superhighway for us to travel. It was up to us to try to cut a path for others to follow and widen and improve upon until it became that superhighway.

I'm no hero. I'm just a schmuck trying to get by in this life by trying to make my life better and, in the process, maybe helping someone else out along the way.

But thanks for the sentiments, Leigh. I'm flattered, and honored to have you and others like you as my friend.

No snappy title here

2006-09-25T10:18:00.000-04:00

Wouldn't it just figure?

I picked New England over Denver for last night's game and Denver handed New England a sound beating, shutting them out completely until the fourth quarter.

Amazingly enough, Jake Plummer finished the game with a passer rating over 100, bringing his overall rating up into the 60's now, moving UP 5 more notches overall, and SEVEN above Big Ben Roethlisberger, who is still sitting in the anemic (and benchable) 30s. He's just seemed terribly tentative since his surgery.

The Manning brothers enjoy mid 90s ratings and are together at the top of the list. However, most amazingly, David Carr leads the pack with a 113. I tell you, Gary Kubiak is a good coach and a GREAT offensive man and a PHENOMENAL QB coach. Maybe in the next year or two he can build himself a really talented team and show the world that the Houston Texans need not be laughed at any more.

Chris Simms' spleenectomy following the game yesterday was a real shocker, too. Makes you wonder how long he played with that ruptured spleen.

======================

Into knitting or crafts? Here's a 50% off code/coupon for Joann Fabrics, good for the next week.

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I read a news article this morning that indicates that the Rochester City Council sent a letter to the New York Legislature "...calling for an end to discrimination against same-sex couples" and urging them to pass legislation to legalize same-sex marriages.

This area of New York tends to lean more toward the conservative yet the entire City Council signed the letter without batting an eye. It is felt that, because this area tends to be very conservative, this letter might have more weight at the legislative level.

Democrat Elliot Spitzer, the current state AG (who issued an opinion in 2004 saying that marriages that originate outside the jurisdiction of NY should be recognized) is the overwhelming favorite for governor this year at election time and strongly supports same-sex marriages as well. While we could lost the battle in court, we could end up winning it through the legislature. We'll see...

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My ex, the putz, filed for bankruptcy a while back when he stopped paying child support. He listed me as a "debt" and forgot to tell the bankruptcy attorney that the "debt" was child support arrears. The money stopped coming in sometime around March and his arrears got up to $3500. When I got the paperwork from the bankruptcy attorney, I forwarded it to the Child Support Enforcement Unit that is handling my case. Guess what? I've gotten a check for $200 each of the past two weeks. I guess the bankruptcy attorney had to restructure the structured payments to include child support, rather than dismissing the "debt."

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I spent a quiet day yesterday watching football and knitting. I got quite a bit done, and am now just about a third of the way through the project (the "flag" blanket for my oldest grandson). Of course, Idgie was a tremendous help, helping feed the yarn to me, making sure the ends of my knitting needles were moving in a continuous motion, and test driving the "layability" of the blanket. It's so good to have help.

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I made a pot of KILLER chowdah yesterday. This time of year my crockpot comes out of the closet (literally) and stays out. I love crockpot cooking -- not only is the food fantastic coming out of it, but it's great to not have to come home and cook.

Yesterday I made a ham chowder, with mixed vegetables and pearl onions. Tonight I'm going to put together the fixings for a wonderful chicken stroganoff that I found in a great recipe book called Grandma's Casseroles. Believe me when I say that the recipes in this book are fantastic and very down-to-earth. One thing I hate about cook books is that most of the foods are too "exotic" for everyday down-to-earth, shoestring-budget types of folks like us. Grandma's is old-fashioned recipes with old-fashioned ingredients and down-home goodness.

And I wonder why I'm overweight...

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Well, it's Monday. Another day. Another dollar. Before taxes.

A wonderful weekend

2006-09-24T10:45:00.000-04:00

So, we're sleeping like babies this morning when the doorbell rings. Lisa grouches "Who the hell is ringing our doorbell at 8:30 on a Sunday morning?" Groggily, I think Jehovah's Witnesses, door-to-door sales, or even Mary. Lisa says "I'm not getting up." I say "Me either."

The doorbell rings a second time, more insistently. I get up, put on my robe, go to the door, and there stands a sheriff's deputy. Being aware that Joe isn't home, my heart leaped into my throat and all I could say was "Please tell me that my son is okay."

The deputy assures me "Oh, sorry to scare you, sorry to wake you, it's not anything like that."

It turns out that my neighbor had the wheels stolen off his car, in his driveway, sometime during th enight. And, if you look at the upper right part of the picture, you'll see another black car with it's back-end toward the camera -- it also had it's wheels stolen. Both vehicles had chrome wheels. The deputy was merely checking to see if we'd noticed anything out of the ordinary. Unfortunately, we hadn't. I did tell the deputy about the man in the red pickup that my neighbor had at his place yesterday morning, looking at an antique car he had for sale. Not only were the wheels stolen, but the rocker panels were badly damaged during the process. My neighbors cars are his passion. He's furious and disgusted. Can't say as I blame him. The other "victims" are an elderly black couple that are just the sweetest, nicest folks you'd want to meet. We live in a nice, quiet neighborhood and it's hard to reconcile this sort of crime when you live in an almost crime-free neighborhood.

We went to the Naples Grape Festival yesterday. It alternately rained, drizzled, and cleared up all day long and, while the temps were only in the mid-70s, it was humid as well. My glasses kept fogging up.

I had a "chocolate dipped cheesecake on a stick." It was heaven on earth! We explored some of the arts and crafts and found an artisan who carries such unique products, we asked him for a business card and his take on wholesaling. Turns out he does wholesaling and, after he gets back to Florida in the next week or so, we'll contact him to plan a purchase from him for our online store.

After we got done touring the grounds, we drove to the south side of Naples and went to "Joseph's" market where we bought a blackberry pie that was still hot, and an assortment of red, white, and purple grapes.

We also went to the 1812 Country Store where I had a coupon for 40% of any one regular priced item. I ended up buying a Willow Tree figurine for my younger daughter for Christmas

For the most part, we were pretty underwhelmed with what we saw at the festival, but still managed to have a good time -- mostly because we were spending time together and we always enjoy that.

After the festival, we stopped in to say hello to my Aunt Wanda. We drank a bit of coffee, had some fun conversation, and took our leave. We arrived home at about 8:00, stiff and sore from walking around all day on concrete, then sitting in our damp clothes for the hour ride home. Bed was a welcome relief...

It's a gorgeous autumn day today. It's about 70 degrees and, while many of the trees still have their leaves, they are turning colors quickly and in the sunlight and the heavy breeze we have today, it's just beautiful. Our little windmill out in the front garden looks like the propeller on an airplane ready to take off.

Fall's arrival always makes me sad (another year has gone by, summer's end) but I still think that it's beauty helps take some of that sadness away.

Prattle

2006-09-22T12:51:00.000-04:00

So, have you been watching Celebrity Duets?

Besides the fact that Lucy Lawless is HOT, HOT, HOT, she can sing, too! Off the show so far are Chris Jericho (yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus), Carly Patterson (an Olympic gold medalist), and Lea Thompson.

Tonight, two more will go and that will leave the final three for next week. My prediction is that tonight's farewells will be given by Hal Sparks and Cheech Marin.

Judged by successful composer David Foster, Marie Osmond and Little Richard, the show is a really lame attempt to imitate American Idol, however, it's like a train wreck -- you just can't NOT look!

The up side is that they've had a lot of big talent singing duets with these non-musical types. Michael Bolton, Gladys Knight, Chaka Khan, Anita Pointer, Richard Marx, Dionne Warwick, Smokey Robinson, LeAnn Womack, James Ingram, Peter Frampton, and Kenny Loggins are just some of the stars that have made their appearances on this show. Leave it to Simon Cowell to remind us of the enormous talents of some of these folks that haven't seen the limelight in the past decade or so.

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And, while on the subject of the boob tube, LOGO began showing the series Queer as Folk last night, with two shows back to back each Thursday night at 10:00. However, with commercial interruption, bleeping of the "f" bomb, and complete cutting of the sex scenes, what's the point in even trying to watch it? In Episode 1, Brian picks up a young man named Justin. It's Justin's first ever sexual encounter and it's that encounter that begins the ongoing relationship with the two men. However, with Brian's tutelage cut out, the dynamics of the relationship are completely lost.

Big BOOOOO to LOGO. They just reminded me of one of the reasons why I don't tune to their channel to start with. What's the point in a "gay" network if it's going to be afraid to BE gay?

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Speaking of being afraid...

We met with my lawyer and the NY City members of the ACLU yesterday to discuss some strategy on how or even IF an appeal will be filed in our lawsuit for marriage equality. I sent this email out to some friends and acquaintences in the GLBT community regarding that meeting. Please feel free to comment openly.

Lisa and I met with Art and Sharon from the NYCLU (NYC) yesterday. This meeting was requested in part by Art and in part by Jeff (my lawyer) so that we could discuss the pros and cons of going forward with an appeal on our case.

As you know, Judge Galloway ruled against us, hiding behind the Hernandez decision and seemingly parroting that ruling. For your edification, I have attached a copy of the ruling if you’d like to read it. MartinezDecision.doc

Particularly noteworthy is the quote on page 6 of the ruling that says “As the defendants correctly note in their papers the legislative history accompanying the statute adding sexual orientation as a protected class clearly indicates that the Legislature expressly did not intend to create any right to marry. Furthermore, as recently held by the Court of Appeals, current New York policy does not authorize or recognize same-sex marriage. This policy is not on its face in violation of the Human Rights Law. “[T]he Domestic Relations Law is facially neutral; individuals who seek marriage licenses are not queried concerning their sexual orientation and are not precluded from marrying if they are not heterosexual. Regardless of sexual orientation, any person can marry a person of the opposite sex.” Id.
(Graffeo, J., concurring); see Hoy v Mercado, 266 AD2d 803, 804.”

Two things come to mind when I read this – first off, we weren’t asking for the right to marry, as we’d already been legally married in Canada. That said, Judge Galloway’s ruling seems to lean more toward the issue of being able to marry, rather than the issue of recognizing a legal marriage conducted outside the jurisdiction of NY State.
Secondly, he quotes a ruling that specifically says that under NY law, homosexuals are not discriminated against because they are free to marry a member of the opposite gender.

Continuing on that page and the next, Judge Galloway addresses the issue of comity (the recognition of legal acts performed in other jurisdictions). Under Federal Law, recognition of foreign marriages is not mandated and is written as a voluntary recognition of the legitimacy of those marriages. Typically those marriages are recognized unless they specifically violate US law (as in marriage to close relatives, etc.). Judge Galloway also quotes the Defense of Marriage Act of 1996, specifically “[n]o State, territory, or possession of the United States, or Indian tribe, shall be required to give effect to any public act, record, or judicial
proceeding of any other State, territory, possession or tribe respecting a relationship between persons of the same sex that is treated as a marriage under the laws of such other State, territory, possession, or tribe, or a right or claim arising from such relationship.”

On its face value, DOMA only addresses states, territories and possessions, not other countries (that is, unless the Federal government sees Canada as a possession or territory of its own). Therefore, in my opinion, DOMA doesn’t apply here. And, even if it did, DOMA’s constitutionality has yet to be challenged in the Supreme Court of the US, as it clearly violates the Full Faith and Credit clause of the US constitution.

Judge Galloway also incorrectly states that same-sex marriages are not to be recognized, pursuant to the Hernandez ruling. The Hernandez ruling, in and of itself, only addresses the issue of allowing same-sex couples to marry under the state constitution, not the recognition of marriages entered into outside the jurisdiction of NY State. Only a dissenting judge addressed the issue of comity in recognizing relationships legitimized in other jurisdictions.

So, all that said, here’s the purpose behind this correspondence to you. I would like to hear your thoughts on pursuing an appeal of this decision based on the meeting I had yesterday with the NYC folks. Listed below are their thoughts on the “risks” of appealing the decision – I have added my own dissenting thoughts as well. I ask for your comments on the NYCLU concerns, as well as my own dissenting thoughts – your HONEST reply will be appreciated.

1. It could create “bad law.” Galloway’s ruling, while woefully ignorant and totally off base, doesn’t necessarily create law. It merely creates a ruling that MCC didn’t violate any laws in denying health care benefits to my spouse, based on my marital status. However, an appeals court ruling could set a precedent for the state in all further cases involving the recognition of same-sex marriages entered into in other jurisdictions (Massachusetts, Canada, etc.). The higher the court’s level, the more that court’s ruling is used by lower court judges that are unable/unwilling to “rock the boat” and rule based on law rather than public or personal opinion. This, I believe, creates a “Catch-22” type of situation because the Hernandez decision, as well as Judge Galloway’s ruling, also creates “bad law.”
2. An appeal could go forward with the “theme” that MCC did not provide me with the same compensation as it did a married heterosexual and that would violate NYS Human Rights laws. Benefits are part of any compensation package and the NYCLU folks believe that the case is stronger going at it from this angle.
My own feeling is that if we appeal in this manner, then it makes the case about money rather than basic civil rights. While it started out with wanting the health insurance benefits for Lisa because of financial considerations, it was never really about the money. As I told the NYC folks yesterday, that amount of money (roughly $1,400) is minutiae compared to the “big picture.”
3. The current political climate is such that this might not be a good time for an “all or nothing” approach. The recent filing of a suit against Alan Hevesi to stop the practice of recognizing same-sex relationships for the purposes of state retirement benefits illustrates the power behind private organizations that fund these sorts of suits. It is this very issue that makes me feel very strongly that we must press forward with an appeal precisely because of these well-funded organizations. The longer we sit back and wring our hands deciding what course to take, the more time we give these organizations to muddy the waters all over the country and, as they spread their cancer throughout the nation, more “bad law” is created.

I also strongly feel that Judge Galloway’s decision is based less on law and more on the current political climate in an election year. An appeal would not reach any court before this year’s elections in November and, therefore, would be less likely to be subject to perceived voter influence.

When Jeff pressed the NYCLU for a response on whether they were “with us” if we decided to pursue the appeal, Mr. Eisenberg responded that he would have to see our legal arguments, first. While he hasn’t presented one legal argument for NOT pursuing the appeal, presenting theory and some presumption only.
It should be noted that the local ACLU legal team believes that the appeal should go forward, even though the state folks do not.

I expressed to these people the thought that, while we currently have the “domestic partner” benefit, four years from now when that contract expires, there are no guarantees that the “domestic partner” benefit will continue to be offered. It is, therefore, imperative that we work toward forcing recognition of our marriages.

While ultimately this is “our” case (Lisa’s and mine), this case is about all of us in many ways. However, Lisa and I both strongly feel that this isn’t just about us. Rather, it’s about an entire community of people in and around Monroe County and New York State (as well as throughout the country). And, since it’s our (collective) case, we want to hear from all of you. We would like this decision to be made by all of us based on all of our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs regarding this case.

=====================

Finally, we've decided selfish time is in order for the weekend. We're going to go down to Hemlock Lake and go to the 1812 Store (one of my favorite places) and then take the trip 20 miles east of there to go to the Naples Grape Festival. This is something I used to love to do back when the kids were still at home, but I was never really able to enjoy it because other than myself, nobody else was interested in the artsy-craftsy things on display. If there aren't any rides that go fast and far enough to make you puke, it's no fun, I guess.

Anyway, the selfish part is that we're not telling anyone we're going -- we're going alone. No Michelle and the kids. No Aunt Wanda. No Mary. Just Pat and Lisa enjoying time together -- something we've not been able to do all summer long.

Of course, we'll go tomorrow because Pat doesn't go anywhere on Sundays during football season, other than the north end of the couch, recliner up, knitting in hand.

Selfish bitch that I am...

Got memories?

2006-09-19T21:53:00.000-04:00

I was downstairs reclaiming the room that will become our home office, and found this:

I figure it to be circa 1987, right about the time my XH and I split. My oldest daughter, on the right (my left in the picture) is now 30 with three girls of her own, the younger daughter on the left (my right in the picture) is now 27 with two boys of her own, and that handsome little man is now 23.

Good looking kids...

I was 45 lbs. lighter in those days.

I had not one gray hair on my head.

I didn't wear glasses.

Of course, I was 20 years younger...and about to set out on a journey not unlike the caterpillar.

I wrapped myself up in a cocoon for a dozen or so years, but then I emerged a butterfly.

Reminiscing, rambling and reading

2006-09-19T09:08:00.000-04:00

I picked up Tigga's "cremains" yesterday. At the vet's office, they handed me a little decorative square tin container with "Tigga [last name]" inside a heart taped to it. I was surprised at how small the container was (3½"x3½") but also by how heavy it felt in my hand. I walked out the door with my jumbled emotions ready to spill over.

I got in the car, and set her on the seat next to me, and felt the tears well up in and the thickness in my throat rise to the surface. I put the car in gear and headed for the house, not quite a mile away. I couldn't fight off the vision of the last time I'd had Tigga in my vehicle, alone with me. She was in the kennel and I'd put my hand to the screen and she'd nudge up against it, loving on me, even as scared as she was. I began to think about how fast she'd gone downhill and about how we lost her, only a scant 3 days after her diagnosis. She had to have been in pain, but never showed any signs that anything was amiss until she'd stopped eating that week.

As I drove, I spoke "I'm sorry, Tig" and was overcome by sobs. I rarely sob, but I was heartbroken at the thought that we'd let her suffer and were too oblivious to know. I got home, and let loose and, for the first time since we lost her, I let myself finally grieve. I hadn't realized I'd not let myself do that, so that Lisa wouldn't be so upset. I stupidly thought I had to stay strong for her, because Tigga was HER cat for 10 years before they ever moved into my home.

I still miss Tigga something fierce. I find myself putting off getting out my knitting in the evenings, because Tigga's not there to "help." There's no chatty kitty greeting me in the morning when I come out of our room, nor is she there to greet me when I come home from work. I'm left to put my shoes on in the morning by myself, without a purring machine laying next to me insisting that I pet her as I put on my socks and shoes and tie the laces. It's amazing how much of our lives our pets are involved in. And it's those little things that make such a big difference.

I found a really nice "urn" to keep her in. The woman who sells them will engrave her name into it, just below the "Beloved Pet" inscription.

I love the fact that the kitty is laying down, sleeping -- that was the essence of Tigga in her life with us together in the past 6 years. And I love the angel wings. Tigga WAS an angel -- with her, it was always about YOU, not her. She gave and gave and gave, and only ever expected a scritch behind the ear or a stroke on her head in return.

Idgie sure helps take some of the sting out of losing Tigga, but she'll never replace her. But, she brings us smiles and laughter, as does Simba.

Simba seems to be relishing his role as "big brother." They play constantly and sometimes he's a bit too rough with her, making her cry. Yesterday morning, he had her sort of trapped under himself, with his front paws encircling her, and he was grooming her. She just lay there and took it. It was sweet.

==========================

Bad news, good news...

Jake Plummer is no longer in last place for QB rating in the NFL. He's moved up two notches, ahead of Kerry Collins and Andrew Walter (R). That's the bad news. The good news is that he's only ONE TENTH OF A POINT behind Big Ben Roethlisberger.

It's nice to suck in such good company, isn't it?

The Manning brothers are in the top 5 for passing yards for the league, with big brother Peyton on pace for a 5,000 yard season (mathematically). They also are among the eight quarterbacks with passer ratings over 100. Of course, big brother Peyton leads in those stats, too. What's interesting is that they both have a "longest pass" of 37 yards and they've both completed 51 passes.

The really BIG surprise is that David Carr, the QB of one of the worse teams in the NFL, carries a current QB rating of just over 126. Clearly the performance of the team as a whole can't be pinned on the quarterback. Of course, it doesn't help that Houston's defense gives up almost 500 yards per game. Oh sure, they went up against Indie and Phillie in their first two games -- teams with quarterbacks that not only LIKE to throw the ball, but do it very well. And, given that 350 of the 486 yards per game that they give up is in PASSING yards, it would seem to me that maybe they should focus on pass defense in practice for the next few weeks. Just a thought.

And poor T.O. hurt is fingie. Let's hear a big, sentimental "AWWWW" for the little tyke. *Putz*

==========================

Finally, I stole this from Melissa's blog.

A book I've read more than once? This is something I love to do. I've read so many books more than once, I couldn't count them. I always feel like I get something more out of a book, each time I read it. My all time favorites to read, over and over, are Roots (Alex Haley), The Stand (Stephen King), Strangers (Dean Koontz), and the timeless Heidi, (Johanna Spyri). I love a book that weaves numerous characters into the story, and brings them all together, either over time or through happenstance.

What book would I want on a desert Island? Robinson Crusoe (Daniel Defoe), so I could learn something about survival, I suppose.

A book that made me laugh? The Grass Is Always Greener over the Septic Tank (Erma Bombeck) Erma's views on weight loss and self-image are something that every woman should read.

A book that made me cry? Sophie's Choice (William Styron), True Crime (Andrew Klavan) When "Sophie" has to make her choice between her children, well, it just makes me sob, and sob, and sob. When Frank Beechum writes a farewell letter to his daughter, well, that made me sob, too.

A book I wish I'd written? Mommie Dearest (Christina Crawford) Christina Crawford articulates what many survivors of childhood abuse wished they could say.

A book I wish had never been written? Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care (original version) Parents of the 60s and 70s clearly only read PART of this book because they taught their children that everything about them was okay, even their actions (or lack thereof). This begat a generation of enabling parents whose kids don't know how to take accountability for themselves.

A book I'm currently reading? Quickbooks for Dummies (Stephen L. Nelson), Conservatives Without Conscience (John Dean).

A book I've meant to read? A Tale of Two Cities (Charles Dickens) "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." Really, I've never read it.

A book that changed my life? The Psychology of Winning (Denis Waitley) Pick any Waitley book, and it made a difference in my life. Perhaps I read them at a time when I was most receptive to self-introspection and change. Be that as it may, it gave me a whole new way of looking at life, and how I react to it.

I QUIT!

2006-09-18T09:06:00.000-04:00

Yup, that's right, eight years ago today, I quit smoking.

That's more than 58 THOUSAND cigarettes I have not smoked. And, at today's prices, that's roughly $150 per month I don't suck into my lungs.

I'm not one of those folks huddled in a doorway on a freezing winter afternoon, puffing away on a cigarette. I'm not one of those folks standing in the rain for a nictoine fix. I am a non-smoker.

I used Zyban to help me quit. Since then, I've read a lot of "testimonials" from folks who used Zyban who said that they still wanted a cigarette after taking Zyban. As if it was some sort of magic wand. Zyban never was marketed to make people quit smoking -- it was marketed to mask the withdrawal symptoms while in the process of quitting. I responded very well to Zyban. I was very energetic, my mood was way up, and I felt really, really good! The kids kept saying they were going to ask the doctor to keep me on it permanently. To this day, I would sing the loudest praises from the highest mountains for Zyban. It truly got me through that time.

Of course, I can't not give myself credit. You can't stop smoking unless you really WANT to, and you have to want to quit for the right reasons. You can't want to quit because you should, or because it's too expensive, or because the kids or your spouse rag you to quit. It has to be your terms, in your time, and for your own reasons.

I'm proud to say that I have not had any occasions where I have fallen off the wagon. That's not to say that I haven't been tempted a time or two but, in the end, I've stayed off them and feel that I am healthier for it.

The day I quit smoking, I weighed 138 lbs. Today I weigh 175 lbs. This is the drawback to smoking cessation and I know some folks that have actually gone back to smoking because of the weight gain. While I realize that my weight is not healthy, I still cannot comprehend the thinking that smoking is desirable over weight gain. While my weight is unhealthy, I'd still have to believe that I'm healthier than if I hadn't quit smoking. Weight is more easily controlled than a nicotine addiction.

Speaking for myself, and ONLY for myself, I know that my weight gain and current unhealthy weight status is due to laziness and lack of interest in doing anything about it.

So, I've decided that today I need to start working on that weight -- it's time to stop making excuses about quitting smoking, take some accountability, and literally get my ass (all of it) moving - again.

Wish me luck.....

Also, if you get a chance, check out the intellect test. I'm surprised I scored as high as I did -- I always figured I was a dumbass! LOL!

7/9 Intellect
You are 56% knowledgable and 84% intellectual.

Excellent! You have a powerful mind backed by a good amount of knowledge. Keep cracking books and nothing can stop you.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on knowledge

You scored higher than 99% on intellect

Link: The Knowledge vs. Intellect Test written by rattytintinface on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Soapbox

2006-09-13T09:42:00.000-04:00

I'm pissed, outraged, and ready to rant:

Trees ripped from memorial

Two freshly planted trees were uprooted sometime last weekend from the memorial garden of a city nonprofit organization that provides assistance to families coping with childhood cancer.

The Japanese maple trees were planted last week by volunteers and were stolen sometime between Saturday and noon on Sunday, said Marynell Noonan, executive director of the CURE Childhood Cancer Association, at 200 Westfall Road.

The trees were part of an expansion of the Julie Roberts Memorial Garden and were taken just before an annual remembrance service that was still held on Sunday.

In the first place, what kind of asshat steals someone's trees -- anyone's trees? But to rip out trees in a memorial built for childhood cancer is even more despicable.

I'm sure that some of you reading this heard the story of Alyssa Bruno, who suffered from a form of brain cancer, and whose teacher solicited mail for her for her birthday. Alyssa got more than 20,000 cards and letters and some gifts and was delighted with it. Sadly, she died on August 24th, just a few days after her sixth birthday.

Having just had this sort of tragedy in the community makes it exceptionally outrageous that someone would stoop so low.

In the event you're interested in a donation to replace the trees and the memorial, you can send your donations to Marynell Noonan, CURE Childhood Cancer Association, 200 Westfall Road, Rochester, NY 14623

This just makes my blood boil....

Monday, already?

2006-09-11T08:29:00.000-04:00

It's been five years since 9/11 and, while it may be safer to fly, I'd have to say that our country has changed, and not for the better, in these five years. Simple freedoms are no longer simple and we face the "If you're not with us, you're against us" mentality of those who seem to have no problem at all with usurping those simple freedoms.

We didn't just lose family members, friends and co-workers, we lost the very essence of what this country stood for on that day. And, while new structures emerge from the ashes of what once stood tall and proud at Ground Zero, a darker, more sinister birth is taking place as well.

We find ourselves entrenched in a "war on terrorism" against everyone BUT the people responsible for the WTC attacks. Osama bin Laden remains at learge in a country OTHER THAN where we've lost the lives of 2,666 American servicemembers in this so-called war. We invaded a country that was not involved in the WTC attacks, have caused the deaths of thousands of innocent Iraqi civilians, have put on a show of just how badly we can treat prisoners, have encouraged thousands of sympathizers to join forces with al Qaeda and, for what?

I've heard the argument "to liberate the people of Iraq from oppression." OK, so when do we go into the Sudan? When do we de-throne Chimpy to liberate US from oppression? We can't clean up someone else's back yard when our own front yard is a wreck.

Moxie Grrrl has a graphic on her web site that contains the caption "I would rather someone was wrapped in the Constitution burning the flag than wrapped in the flag burning the Constitution." I echo those sentiments.

It is not only our right but our responsibility as citizens of this country to offer dissenting opinions, and to hold our government accountable for its actions. To sit back in silence is dangerous and offers a breeding ground for dictatorship and what we're supposedly fighting against over in the middle east.

Chimpy is supposed to give a speech at 9:00 tonight and supposedly has promised not to make it a political speech. No calls to action or crap like that. I'll believe that if/when I see/hear it. Although, frankly, I'd rather watch the football game than the George W. Bush comedy hour.

As Forrest Gump said, "That's all I have to say about that."

============ ====== ======

In week one of the NFL, Jake Plummer ended up dead last in quarterback rankings with an anemic 26.3. Seems that Denver really needed someone to install a handle on the ball yesterday, as they couldn't seem to hang onto it.

And, as I've said all along, all Charlie Batch needed was a good offense around him. Filling in for the now appendix-less Ben Roethlisberger, Charlie lead the NFL in quarterback ratings with a whopping 126.3, throwing three touchdown passes, no picks, and just generally getting the job done in an efficient manner. Daunte Culpepper, on the other hand, looks like he needs to settle into Miami's offense a bit better.

In the battle of the Manning brothers, little brother Eli out-generaled older brother Peyton, with a 88.7 QB rating compared to Peyton's 78.9. But, alas, QB ratings don't win games. Points win games and older brother Peyton's team scored more of them. It was a really good game, though.

Yeah, sure, Buffalo was ahead 17-7 going into the half but, as I told Joe, Buffalo's greatest skill is at blowing leads and losing games and, true to form, they lost by the safety scored against them. And the critics thought that Jim Kelly was a schmuck? Hey, he took them to the superbowl 4 years in a row. Sure, they didn't win, but they at least showed up. Life after Kelly hasn't been any better to Buffalo than life after Elway in Denver or life after Marino in Miami.

On the other hand, Green Bay may actually look better in their life after Favre years, given Favre's performance in the past couple of years. Shut out yesterday for the first time in his career, and only 170 passing yards for the whole game. This just goes to prove what I've said all along -- a quarterback is only as good as the receivers on the other end. And, when you've got great receivers, they make a quarterback look great. Look at Charlie Batch up in Detroit -- he had no decent receivers and had no running game (after the great one retired) and looked mediocre at best. Then look at his performance Thursday night with excellent receivers like Heath Miller, Hines Ward, and even Willie Parker.

Don't think I'll be staying up late to watch the San Diego/Oakland game tonight, as it doesn't even start until 10:15. Minnesota and Washington play tonight at 7:00 so we might actually get to see all of that game.

==========================

My Aunt Wanda verified this weekend that Le and Vanessa have "disappeared." Their trailer is empty, and the neighbor said that they'd been moving out for a couple of weeks. I think they're in Corning or Elmira and I'm pretty sure that Le will still be taking classes. Poor Vanessa, taken away from everyone that she knew, her friends, her family, neighbors, classmates.

I'm so angry with Le I could spit nails.

==========================

How rich are you? >>

I'm loaded.
It's official.
I'm the 183,530,435 richest person on earth!

Awwwwwwww.......

2006-09-10T21:26:00.000-04:00

Simba just loves to sit and cuddle with Lisa and, since we've gotten the new baby, she loves to cuddle with Simba. So, you hafta see this.....

If you can't see the video, here are some stills:

How can you NOT just say "AWWWWW?"

Sunday...without the sun

2006-09-10T08:51:00.000-04:00

It's pretty gray and gloomy out today. The forecast had called for sun and cool temperatures (high 60s) but all we've got thus far is the cool temperatures. With the very cool temperatures we've been having at night, the trees have begun to color in earnest. Time to think about winterizing again.

I woke up this morning to find this. Yes, that's most of the soil from a plant that got knocked off the countertop last night. Now, given that I found Idgie laying IN one of the plants, nibbling on the greens, I'd have to say that it's a fair assumption that she's the culprit. Especially when the other cats have never bothered the plants. I told her she's damned lucky she's cute...

She and Simba were wound up like eight day clocks this morning. She'd chase him out of the bedroom, he'd chase her back in. He'd get up on the bed and swat at her while she buzzed by him. He's been a good big brother -- such a sweet love. They've brought a lot of smiles to us in the past week since we've had Idgie.

The vet, after examining her, seems to think that she's closer to 16 weeks than 10 weeks, because of the growth of new teeth. That probably explains why she's so lanky. I wish I could get her to stand still long enough to get a picture of her! LOL!

I haven't slept well the past couple of nights, partly because Lisa's been gone, partly because I've let the "kids" into our room, partly because my allergies have been bothering me, and partly because I can't seem to regulate my body temperature. I'm either too damned hot or too damned cold -- can't seem to get it in the middle. I was cold most of last night, where the night before I kept waking up sweating.

Joe and Taylor went out last night and celebrated Taylor's 21st birthday (which is officially today). He just got home about a half hour ago. Lately they've taken to spending the night together, either at our house or at her house. I think Taylor has mellowed a bit in the relationship and Joe really seems quite taken with her. I'm glad to see him with someone that he enjoys so much. They do a lot together, not just have sex. (Mom covering eyes, ears and screaming LALALALALA). They go to movies, dinner, pubs, concerts, and often just spend the evening in, watching a video or some program that they both like. They're good friends, and good companions. That's good.

The police caught "Bucky" Phillips. Here's what I don't get: The guy was in jail on a "minor parole violation" and was expected to be released within a week when he escaped. Why escape with such little time left? I don't get it. All I know is that I'm glad it's all over because a lot of people were victimized by this guy, directly or indirectly. First you have the families of the cops that he shot, one fatally. My heart goes out to those people. Then you have the people whose homes he broke into and cars he stole. Then you have the people that were ordered evacuated from their homes when it was suspected that he was in their area.

What I also don't get is some of his friends, prior to the shooting of the two cops in Chemung County, saying "It's not like anyone DIED." Give those people their signs....

Mary and I went to BJ's yesterday where I picked up a HP Photosmart 3210xi All-in-One printer/scanner/copier/fax for the new business. It's a sweet ride, I don't mind telling you. It's all color, all digital, and delivers an excellent quality document. I'm quite pleased with it, since we plan on doing our "catalog" ourselves initially. We're STILL waiting on the documentation for our merchant account so we can collect credit cards, and then we can open the online store. It's all set and ready to rock and roll, I just can't accept any PAYMENTS yet. We originally had a target start date of September 1st, but that's just not going to happen now, obviously.

Speaking of payments, Lisa got a check from the New York State Comptroller for just over $500 yesterday. What for, you ask? It was unclaimed funds. I check the sites frequently and have found $95 for myself, just under $600 for my brother, an unknown amount for my paternal grandmother, and now this for Lisa. Check the site and see if you have any money out there. And don't EVER pay anyone for this information -- it's free either at this site, or at each state's individual site (this site links you to those state sites). G'head! What are you waiting for? Happy Hunting!

They're BA-ACK!

2006-09-08T12:39:00.000-04:00

And they're back with a vengeance.

Classes started this week and that means that the faculty is back. I can only shake my head in amazement during the first week of classes when I observe the faculty.

The copier room is right next door to my office. The Tuesday after Labor Day always starts with a huge, long line outside the copier room door, full of faculty members who need to make copies of syllabi for their 8:30 classes. They piss and moan to each other about how long someone in front of them is taking to get their copying done, and sometimes almost come to blows with each other.

Joe had an 8:30 literature class Tuesday morning. His professor got to class almost 20 minutes late, huffing and puffing when he came into the classroom bemoaning the fact that he'd had to wait in a long line to use the copier because someone in front of him was copying a 39 page course outline. One student asked the professor why he'd waited until that morning to make his copies. Dead silence was the response.

Exactly.

He wouldn't accept that sort of behavior from his students, so what makes it okay for him to wait until the 11th hour to prepare himself for class?

It would be one thing if he was the only one but, sadly, it's a phenomenon that occurs every single semester on the first day of classes. And, it's not just that day, either. During the course of the Labor Day holiday weekend, more than 15 cases of paper are used while the faculty comes in over that weekend to produce syllabi for the first day of class. I just don't get why they'd want that much stress to start off the semester.

I had one faculty member bring me her syllabi on THURSDAY afternoon, wanting all six of them produced, sent down for copy, and returned prior to the start of classes on Tuesday morning. I simply told her I'd left my magic wand at home and she'd have to make her own copies if she wanted them returned before Tuesday morning. I have a two-day turnaround, and Printing Services also has a two-day turnaround.

I once did a write-up of sorts about that copy room -- I'd read an article by a guy who thought that stupid people should wear signs, and my write-up was along those lines:

We recently had a thread on another list of mine about how stupid people should wear signs around their necks so you know what they are and don't get hurt, and so the expression has taken hold "Give that man/woman a sign." So, without further adieu, here are some of my honest-to-God-I-wouldn't-lie-about-this," give that person a sign" stories.

"The copier says 'lift cover and remove paper.' What should I do?" Give that woman a sign! "Well, I would suppose that you lift the cover up and take the paper out!"

"There's a problem with the paper in the copier." Give that woman a sign! "The problem is that you need to PUT PAPER IN IT!"

"My transparency didn't come out, so I ran some extra paper through the machine to force the transparency out. Now the machine won't run!" Give that man a sign! "Hold on, let me call the fire department to put out the fire you started when you used the thermographic transparency and it melted to the fuser and set the EXTRA paper that you fed through there on fire."

When the copier is BADLY out of whack, we turn it off and unplug it. I did this once when it had a "burning" smell, but within an hour heard the machine running (and smelled it smoking). When I went into the copy room to find out why, I was met with "There was nothing wrong with the machine. It was just unplugged. So, I took the out of order sign off it and turned it back on." Give that man a sign!

"Why won't that machine feed the individual pages through the top feeder like it's supposed to?" Give that woman a sign! "I suppose it's because they're still bound to the book?"

"I tried several times, but my original still comes out the same size." "You mean you want the text larger?" "No, it says it will enlarge it, and I want the paper and everything enlarged, but it still comes out the same size it went in." Give that woman a sign! "[Sigh!]"

Yes, they're THAT stupid! I've said for a long time now that stupid should hurt and, based on that, some of these folks should be in excruciating pain.

=======================

A local 19-year veteran of the sheriff's department was arrested for DWI last night after he collided with, and killed, a motorcyclist.

Nothing like serving the public trust, eh?

======================

As of about an hour ago, NY State Police seem to think they've got "Bucky" Phillips cornered. I hope they do because I'm sick of this idiot running around the state causing all of these headaches and grief for whomever crosses his path. Now, he's promised "suicide by cop" and, with that in mind, I think all the cops should be warned to just knee-cap the sucker, and not give him what he wants. But that's just my mean streak talking, I guess.

======================

Idgie has adjusted quite well and how has a bit more trust for us. We still can't approach her from a standing position (must look scary to that little munchkin) but if we get down on the floor with her, she comes to us, nuzzles us, and will lay right next to us. She's still very skiddish about being picked up, too, but tolerates it quite well.

At about 4:30 this morning she buzzed us. She was apparently playing with Simba and ran laps around our bed, with us in it, running over and around us. Damned lucky she's cute. Simba knew better, and stayed at the foot of the bed. If that lard-ass had buzzed us the way Idgie did, he'd have hurt us for sure. After all, he weighs 18½ lbs. Can you imagine THAT running over you while you're sound asleep!?! LOL!

=======================

Lisa's heading out for Pennsylvania this afternoon so she can attend a baby shower for her nephew's wife. It'll be Lisa's parents' first great-grandchild. I'm just not up for the trip -- my hips have been bothering me badly this week (probably from all the rain) and I just don't think I can handle a 4 hour automobile ride. She's really disappointed that I'm not going, but she's okay with it too, I think. I hope.

So I'll probably just lay low for the weekend. I'll mow the lawns tonight after work and tomorrow I'll get some of the furniture moved back to where it belongs now that we're done with the flooring and painting.

Sunday starts my 17 weeks of I-don't-go-anywhere-on-Sundays-because-of-footbal syndrome. I'll get out the knitting needles, oil up the recliner so it works effortlessly, and settle in for the season. Of course, I always have 4 televisions set up so I can see 4 different games (thanks to DirectTV's NFL Sunday Ticket). Yes...I'm a freak!

Speaking of football games, it seems that Lisa and I were the only ones in our weekly pool that thought that Pittsburgh could still pull off a win against Miami without Big Ben Roethlisberger (who had an emergency appendectomy this week). Joe was pissed when he heard the news because he has Roethlisberger on his fantasy team, and couldn't start him.

Sunday night's entertainment will pit the two Manning brothers against each other. Of course big brother Peyton will win the day, but little brother Eli isn't going to make it easy for him.

=======================

Oh Damn. Another faculty member needing instructions on how to push buttons on the copier...

*sigh*

It's PAYDAY!

2006-09-07T08:56:00.000-04:00

It's been a long, long time since I(we) have had a bank balance as low as it got last week -- it was down to $25. I always panic when it gets below $500 so you can imagine the stress of seeing that $25 balance. We spent just a little under $800 in vet bills for Tigga and still owe for the cremation. Then there was the adoption of little Idgie and her vet's visit yesterday to get her sutures removed. But, all the bills are paid!

I manage all the money in the household and I have to say that I do it very well. We live well within our means but still have the resources to meet unexpected emergencies, and to spend on ourselves once in a while.

I honestly don't get the folks who get so deep into debt that they file bankruptcy and then, after filing bankruptcy, they continue to piss away money on trips and extraneous bullshit items that they don't need.

My brother has his paycheck tagged in a major sort of way by the IRS, to the point where he brings home less than $700 per month from his primary job. He works part-time, and shares a house with his wife and her boyfriend. (Yes, you saw that right, his wife and her boyfriend.) After his first wife passed away two or three years ago, he lost their house (it was a multi-family) in foreclosure and had to put almost all of his crap in storage. He's now so far behind on his storage facility payments, he'll likely lose that stuff.

He can't afford to pay his bills, yet he has every technological toy one can have, along with such a vast array of video game platforms and games to go with them, you'd think he owned his own store. He owns several computers as well. And he's a tool junkie. When he sees a tool he doesn't have, he buys it. Not because he needs it, but because he thinks he should have it.

My ex filed bankruptcy. Yet he and his wife continue to take trips to Vegas while I'm unable to collect $3500 in arrears for child support. By law, I can't collect the arrears until he comes out of bankruptcy in 2-3 years. But he can still take those trips and buy extravagant gifts for his wife and our daughter who lives out in Colorado near him.

Some friends of mine filed bankruptcy and were in such a bad state of affairs, they couldn't make their payment on the trailer they bought -- and, of course, if they couldn't make the trailer payment they certainly weren't making the lot rental payment in the trailer court. Yet, at least once a month they traveled to Philadelphia to visit their son. Eventually they got evicted from the trailer court, and they lost the trailer not long after that.

An ex-girlfriend of mine pissed and moaned about how broke she was after she left her husband, and was talking about filing bankruptcy but turned around and bought a $500 ring and put it on her credit card. I don't know if she ever did file bankruptcy but it sure as hell seems irresponsible to me to be unable to pay your bills and then get yourself deeper into the shit buying an expensive item that you don't need.

I don't get it. Why would anyone bring this kind of stress on themselves? But then again, we live in a "me, gimmie, mine" society so I suppose that money management is a lost art, having been completely consumed by the sense of entitlement that so many people seem to have these days.

*-*-*-*-*-*

We're waiting on some paperwork on our business banking account so that we can get a merchant account which will allow us to accept credit cards, and then we're rolling on the business. We've already had some limited success on a cash basis with some of the health products and we're very excited about everything in general. These products have been received much better than we originally anticipated so it's hard not to get excited.

We also have to submit an application for a permit for "conditional use" of our house as a home office (otherwise the town can zap us a fine), but it won't be discussed by the zoning board until mid-October and the application isn't due until later this month. We've got it filled out and ready to submit, but can't make the process work any faster than it does. Hopefully the town won't zap us while we're operating until then. Heck, all we're doing is using a room in the house for a desk, computer, and limited inventory to mail out following online sales. It's not like we'll have customers coming to the house at all times of the day. But, we'll get the permit just the same, to make everything all nice and legal.

*-*-*-*-*-*

My daughter Michelle called me yesterday and told me that Vanessa (Le's daughter, not her own Vanessa) wasn't present on the first day of school. The two Vanessas have a class together and our Vanessa told us that when they called out the other Vanessa, she wasn't there. I always suspected that Le would move on without any word to anyone, and it looks like that might have happened. Not much we can do about that, I guess.

It's really too bad. Nobody has seen nor heard from Le since June 6 when my father was sentenced. It was like she just fell off the planet. But, I guess that's what she needed to do...

Meet Idgie!

2006-09-05T09:01:00.000-04:00

Idgie is the little brown tabby in the middle. She's two months old and we adopted her from Lollypop Farm, the local animal shelter. Lollypop Farm is phenomenal -- it's a "no kill" facility that brings in people from all around the area, as well as out-of-state. I visited it twice last week and both times it was chock full of people. Check out the site, as it has wonderful information on pets and their care and training.

The adoption fee was $110 but included in that price is the worming, spaying, FELV testing, first series of shots, microchip implantation (for identifying the animal), a free month of pet health insurance, and a free month's worth of food. It's a great value!

Anyway, Idgie is a little piss-and-vinegar munchkin who is a tad skiddish but every bit a kitten. Yes, she looks similar to our beloved Tigga, but we chose the tabby because they are typically known for their sweet dispositions.

I suppose that, if you're a kitten, having an adult human stand next to you seems quite scary and when that happens, she tends to bolt. But, if we get down on our knees or sit on the floor, she comes to us and nuzzles and lets us love on her. The first night we couldn't really get anywhere near her -- she wanted nothing to do with us and spent the night under the nightstand in our bedroom. But since then, she's been exploring every inch of the house.

Cedar, as expected, wants nothing to do with her. Or us, for that matter. But like she did with Tigga, she'll eventually just ignore Idgie and they'll steer clear of each other.

Simba, on the other hand, has been wonderful with the little munchkin. Now, keep in mind that he's HUGE -- not just weight-wise, but in every aspect. His paws are huge (and they say that's an indicator of the size of the animal's frame), and he weighs 18½ lbs. We think there may be a bit of Maine Coon in him because of the way his fur is. So just believe me when I say he's HUGE.

At first he and the kitten sniffed at each other and while she arched her back a bit, he was somewhat inquisitive, but not overly so. He did, however, lay next to her hiding spot all night long that first night, as if to stand guard over her. We've had her for five days now and the two of them ram throughout the house, playing. He chases her downstairs, and she chases him back up the stairs. He thumps her pretty good on the head when she hides and pretends she's a "whack-a-mole" but his claws stay retracted. He's a good big brother.

Idgie has brought a lot of laughter and smiles back into our home. Lisa and I both tend to have moments when we get teary-eyed at the thought of the loss of Tigga, but little Idgie has taken some of the sting away. I told Lisa that maybe Tigga had to leave so that we could rescue this little one.

We have a new nightly routine now -- we go outside after dark and look for Tigga's star. We found this quote on the web, and took great comfort from it.

"Perhaps they are not stars in the sky but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy."

And, if that's the case, Tigga's happy and has lots of friends.

Tigga (1990-2006)

2006-08-26T15:07:00.000-04:00

We said goodbye to Tigga this morning. This picture was taken this morning as she sat outside in the sun for the last time. She was purring away, almost to the very end.

We knew she was in pain and, as much as we didn't want to have to do it, we took her in to the vet and had her put to sleep. It took less than 30 seconds and she was gone.

Sleep well, Tigga. We miss you already. And we love you so much!

Saying goodbye

2006-08-25T09:47:00.000-04:00

Six years ago, when Lisa moved into my home and my life, she brought her cat, Tigga with her. Tigga was a 10½ year old, overweight (20 lbs.) tabby who was afraid of her own shadow.

Lisa's former roommates had endlessly tormented her by chasing her with plastic bags, taking perverse pleasure in her terror.

When Tigga first came to our home, she hid under the covers on the bed in the spare bedroom for weeks on end, only coming out long enough to eat and then go back to the dark sanctuary she'd found under the covers.

After some time, I told Lisa that we needed to stop letting her hide out like that because it would become her way of life and I wanted her to have more of a life than that. Besides, I wasn't all that nuts about the fact that the spare bedroom was "occupied" in such a way and that bed was going to be so full of cat fur and god-knows-what-else that it would take enormous effort to clean it up if we ever had a guest. So, we started closing the doors to the three bedrooms upstairs so that she had noplace in there to hide.

She took to hanging out on the bench seat of the kitchen set. Still staying hidden, but beginning to come out a bit at night. I tried to make her comfortable and unafraid, but it was clearly going to be a monumental task.

As time went by, she began to come out more frequently in the evening and actually sit in/on the recliner with Lisa -- a familiar piece of furniture (Lisa brought it with her) from the "old days."

In six years, this cat morphed from that frightened feline who couldn't bear to come out into the light or where anyone else was to a prominent member of the household. As old as she is (and having no claws) somehow she became the "alpha" cat, commanding the respect (and a bit of leariness) from Cedar, a 7 year old fiesty female, complete with claws. Cedar steers wide berth around Tigga, which endlessly amused us because Tigga is so old and gentle and completely unable to defend herself.

We introduced Simba in 2001, a year after Tigga came to live with us. He was a piss-and-vinegar kitten who, most likely because Tigga had no claws to hurt him with, took a shine to Tigga and played with her constantly, to her endless irritation. Because Tigga is a "talker," her talk-growling at him always made me laugh because she sounded like something out of The Exorcist when she fussed at Simba. But, while she talked a mean game, she could be seen laying back-to-back or butt-to-butt with him during the cold weather. Simba just loves Tigga.

Simba "herds" Tigga to the food dish each morning. When he's ready to flop down for a nap, he seeks out Tigga and flops right up against her, sometimes causing her to get up and move, but often she'd just stay where she was, yapping at him most likely about the fact that she'd gotten there first and wasn't moving for him.

About three years ago, the vet told us that Tigga really needed to lose weight because, at her advanced age, there was always a concern about diabetes and other weight related problems. She was at 22½ lbs. We began a weight loss program for her, putting all the cat food dishes and the litter box downstairs, so she'd get that little bit of exercise each time she wanted to eat or toilet.

Over the course of the next few months, Tigga got down to a svelte 18 lbs., which is still overweight for a cat, but considerably healthier. She was more energetic and could get up on the furniture with ease.

Tigga also began going outside on the patio with Lisa in the mornings (while Lisa has her morning cigarette before driving to work -- she doesn't smoke in her vehicle). She'd lounge in the sun, or "graze" at the grass line that came up to the patio. She'd stopped hiding and had begun living, and she seemed to be really loving life.

I often commented to Lisa about how Tigga's personality mirrors Lisa's -- they were both very introverted and withdrawn when they moved in with us. I also often commented that, when Tigga's time came, I was glad to know that her life had been so much happier with us and that her last years were good, happy, loving years. Lisa always enthusiastically agreed.

Each morning when I put on my shoes, I sit at the top of the stairs that go down to the entryway and, as soon as Tigga sees those shoes in my hands, she meets me at the top of the stairs and, as I put on my shoes and socks, I put a lovin' on her. I'm not sure who trained who there.

A year ago May, I took up knitting. Because I'm off on Fridays during the summer, I'd spend my Fridays sitting on the couch working on my knitting. Tigga would get up on the couch beside me and sometimes bat at the knitting needles, sometimes doing "pushie-pushie" on the yarn or my leg, but always stayed right there next to me. She'd become my knitting buddy.

As the cold weather set in last year, she got a bit stiffer and had difficulty getting up onto the couch, so we got a stool for her to help her get up. If the knitting needles came out, Tigga magically appeared on the couch next to me. In the evenings, Lisa sits on one end of the couch, I sit on the other, and Tigga occupies the middle. We're three lumps on the couch each night, watching television or doing whatever.

About three months ago, we weighed Tigga and saw that she was down to 16 lbs. We were pleased with her weight loss. 6½ lbs. is a lot of weight for a cat -- and it represented a loss of almost 30% of her starting body weight. For me, today, a 30% loss of body weight would equate to more than 50 lbs.

We'd begun to give her glucosamine tablets for joint health, so that she wasn't as stiff and sore during the cold or damp weather. She seemed to slow down more last winter but, as the spring broke, she perked up and was more active.

In recent weeks, Lisa had commented a couple of times about how thin Tigga was looking, but we didn't really think much of it. But then we noticed that she didn't seem all that interested in eating very much and, when she turned down her treats, we became alarmed.

We weighed her and were astonished to see that she was down to 13½ lbs. Over the last weekend, she stopped eating completely and did nothing but lay on our bed (something we normally don't allow) and sleep the days away. But always she purred when we petted her or talked to her.

We took Tigga to the vet on Wednesday. By then, Tigga had lost another 1½ lbs, and was down to 12 lbs. That's too much weight too fast. On examination, the vet thought there might be an enlarged liver and possibly a mass in the abdomen. They kept her overnight so they could do an ultrasound. When they admitted her to the hospital, they found her to be dehydrated as well.

The ultrasound yesterday revealed masses in the abdomen and possible masses in the liver. The results of the ultrasound were emailed to a specialist and and the results were expected in late yesterday. They asked to keep Tigga overnight again to continue hydration therapy.

This morning, I spoke to the vet and was told that it is believed that Tigga has one of two forms of cancer that they suspect. One form (a lymphoma) responds well to steroids and, I was told, we can take her home and treat her with the steroids and see how she fares over the weekend. If she seems to improve, then we'd take her back in a week or so for another exam. It's possible we could have Tigga with us a bit longer if this is the form of cancer she has. And, the treatment isn't worse than the disease.

The other form, well, let's just say that euthanasia is the recommended course of action.

We don't want Tigga to suffer, whether it be physically or psychologically. Certainly I think it's important to bring Tigga home for the weekend so that Lisa has time to wrap her head around this, to process the potential loss of this beloved pet whom she's had her entire adult life. Through all of the trials and hardships that Lisa has undergone, Tigga has been her best friend. Tigga seems to have a sense for a troubled spirit -- she's always right up against me or Lisa if we're upset or sick.

I've missed her terribly the past two mornings -- the world is terribly unsettled when your routine is disturbed. I sat at the top of the steps to put my shoes on, but there was no Tigga. I started to put a shoe on before I put a sock on -- nothing seems right. Simba came over to me, nudging against me. He knew what was missing and I think tried to give me what I needed.

So, I'll pick Tigga up this afternoon and take her home and get out the knitting needles so she can stay with me and have "normal" back, until Lisa gets home. Then we can spend the weekend with her -- we've canceled plans to go to a festival with my aunt. We'll spend the weekend at home with Tigga, and work on saying goodbye.

It's hard enough to lose a pet that you love so much, but the part that sucks the most is playing God -- putting them to sleep.

But I keep reminding myself that it's an act of love.

Are you shittin' me?

2006-08-23T09:23:00.000-04:00

Sunday night, my throat started getting sore. And my ear hurt, too. I felt like I had a huge lump on the side of my throat and that was what hurt the most. Sinuses acting up? It's the right time of year for it and more than likely that's exactly what's wrong. All sorts of allergens floating around, as summer perennials begin to shed their beautiful flowers and go to seed. I took a Sudafed and figured that would take care of business.

I woke up Monday morning and my throat was really sore and my ear felt like it wanted to explode. I took some Tylenol Sinus Headache medication and went to work. I was miserable all day and, as the day progressed, I felt more and more wiped out. The Tylenol Sinus barely took the edge off it and, by the end of the day, I knew I needed the big guns.

So, I called in sick yesterday and made an appointment at the doctor's office. They took one look in my throat and grabbed the culture swabs. Wha'? I've been around strep so much in my life it's not funny -- my ex and my son used to get strep every month during the winter. My younger daughter used to carry the germ. I never got strep, or anything near it. So then the doctor comes in, looks in my ear(s) and tells me there's nothing wrong with my ears. Then why the hell does that one hurt so bad? He looks in my throat -- I mean really LOOKS in my throat, and tells me that my left tonsil is swollen and inflamed.

Wha'fuck?

Now, as a child, I never had tonsillitis. Never had strep, not even as an adult. A few years back, a doctor looked in my throat and said "Hmph, no tonsils." I replied "Well, unless someone came and snagged them when I wasn't looking, I still have tonsils!" He looked in my mouth again and said "Oh yeah, you do. It's just that they're so small, they look like roots." They're that small because they've never EVER had a problem.

Now, all of a sudden, at the age of 51 I'm going to have tonsillitis for the first time in my life?

And who the hell gets tonsillitis during the summer, anyway?

What next? Chicken pox?

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I love the way Moxie Grrrl expresses herself. Check her out!

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Our city is "testing" a new curfew for minors. This pilot program will run for 90 days and then undergo evaluation.

The curfew ordinance, which was amended Tuesday by Councilman Adam McFadden, will prohibit youths in the city 16 and under from being unsupervised at a public place from 11 p.m. to 5 a.m., Sunday through Thursday; and midnight to 5 a.m. Friday and Saturday.

One man who spoke out against the curfew said that the right to public assembly isn't age dependent.

Public assembly? A gang of kids is a public assembly?

And let's just touch on the unstated here. Where are the parents of these kids who are under 16 and out after 11:00 on a school night -- or any night for that matter?

Big thumbs up for the city council for passing this curfew. Big thumbs down and a huge raspberry for any idiot who thinks that kids should have a "right" to be out on the streets getting shot or committing crimes.

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Here's something that should stick in your craw...

The Oatmans are still trying to cope with the loss of Bear, their 6-year-old black Labrador, after he was shot by an off-duty Rochester police officer in their front yard last week.

The Monroe County Sheriff's Office has concluded that Christopher Muscato, 28, a six-year veteran of the city police department, was justified when he shot the dog for allegedly lunging at him and his wife Aug. 9.

"I can tell you that if any citizen were approached by a dog in the manner this guy said he was, he would be as justified as he is," said Capt. Donald Bergman.

But Brian Oatman can't believe Muscato had any reason to shoot his dog, especially not in front of his son, Nicholas, 10.

Oatman's two sons, including Troy, 13, and wife, Judy, are staying with relatives because their house is still covered in blood from Bear's futile attempt to get help after the shooting, said Oatman.

"There's blood over every carpet, in all four bedrooms," said Oatman.

Meanwhile, the city police department has launched an investigation by the internal affairs unit, a routine procedure whenever a police weapon is discharged, said Officer Deidre Taccone, the department's spokeswoman.

Bergman said deputies determined there was no basis for criminal charges. He said the officer told deputies he and his pregnant wife were walking their dog down Summertime Trail shortly before 8 p.m. when a black Labrador retriever from 10 Summertime Trail left the property and tried to attack them. Muscato said he shot the dog once, and that Bear continued to act aggressively so he shot him a second time, Bergman said.

According to Bergman, Bear retreated into the Oatman's home and later died. The officer asked his wife to go to their home and call 911, Bergman said. He waited at the scene for deputies to arrive and provided a full statement. Deputies interviewed several neighbors, some of whom reported that the dog was known to leave its property and bark. Others said the dog was known to be friendly, Bergman said.

State agriculture and markets law, which regulates the treatment of dogs, states a person can destroy a dog if there is a perceived threat, Bergman said.

"It's not like any of us don't sympathize with this family," said Bergman, a dog owner. "But the deputies did a thorough investigation."

Oatman said he plans to sue Muscato and provide evidence that the officer acted inappropriately and gave authorities conflicting statements.

"My son had to witness this," said Oatman, "I'm not after any money; my main focus is what he did to Nicholas and how he is going to have to carry that for the rest of his life."

What's an off-duty officer, out walking his dog with his wife, carry a gun for?

Wouldn't a dog owner know that a dog seeing another dog pass by would become territorial or, at least want to play? According to neighbors, "Bear" was a gentle, loving dog who would have helped burglars carry stuff out of the house if they just stopped and petted him first.

I think this idiot cop had been by the house before with his dog and, because the dog may have barked at his own dog or acted territorial, he made sure to have the gun with him so he could eliminate that small irritation.

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Anyone else besides me really, really curious what John Mark Karr has to say about how JonBenet Ramsey died?

According to CNN, this guy made "unsolicited comments" to law enforcement officials on his trip back to the US. This should prove interesting, as far as the legal wrangling.

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Here's a list schools can be proud of making. According to the news last night, parents have the option to move their children to another school because of this dubious distinction in their own school district.

Two Rochester high schools — Charlotte and Thomas Jefferson — are among the
state's 17 "persistently dangerous," the state Education Department said
Tuesday.

The designation stems from an audit of 92 public schools
statewide, and is based on data on violent incidents from school years 2004-05
and 2005-06.

Thomas Jefferson High School showed a drop in the number of
violent incidents from 87 to 58 in those years. During the same period, the
number of violent incidents at Charlotte High School increased from 65 to 68.

Makes you want to run right out and enroll your kid in one of these fine schools, eh?

He's Here!

2006-08-22T07:54:00.000-04:00

Ethan Michael entered this world yesterday evening, weighing in at 6 lbs. 8 oz. and measuring 18½ inches. Big brother, Brandon, got to see him before anyone else in the family and then was allowed to go down the hall and get the rest of the family so they could see too.

Welcome, Ethan!

Monday Mumblings

2006-08-21T09:55:00.000-04:00

I went to see my father Friday at the hospital in Buffalo. It's a long story about how he got there, and I won't bore you with it. Let it suffice to say that even though he was born in 1935, he's 100 years old now. Two months in prison have aged him that much. He has tremendous pain in his foot (where he has no circulation) and his foot feels like an ice cube. They were supposed to do an angioplasty on him, but haven't yet for some reason. They did a doppler and a stress test and he'll know something hopefully today. My father won't survive his incarceration -- I'm sure of that now.

His half-brother, Jerry, is still missing, too. He's been MIA for 3 weeks now and, even though the state police have conducted massive searches in the woods surrounding Jerry's house and found nothing, we all still believe that eventually he'll turn up dead in those very woods.

_____________________________

Linda, my younger daughter (middle child) called this morning to let me know that she's at the hospital, dilated to 3 cm and almost completely effaced (sp?). Looks like we'll have us a baby today. They're planning to name him Ethan Michael. Ethan is the second son born to Linda and Brandon -- his older brother Brandon Jr. was born in February of 2003 and is excited about having a baby brother so he can "...teach him to pee standing up!"

I guess I'd better get the ends woven in on that blanket and get it sent off tomorrow!

I'm tickled to death that she called -- our relationship tends to be turbulent, at best. But I think in the end, she wants her Mom. I think we all tend to. Let's keep our fingers crossed that he's healthy and there's no complications in the delivery process.

_______________________________

Things are really falling into place with our new business. We got our federal EIN on Friday and expect notification within the next day or two for our state sales tax ID. After that, we need to get a merchant account with a local bank (so we can accept credit cards) and we'll be open for business. We already have a job lined up which will be an excellent start to Lisa's handiwork portion of the business. Our online store is almost ready to open -- just need to finish "loading in" the products and get that merchant account. We're very excited about this and I truly believe that, because our products will, for the most part, be unique and out-of-the-ordinary, we should have some success with this online store.

Of course, we still have to apply for our "conditional use" permit for the town (so that we can use a room in the house as a home office), and that will go before the zoning board in mid-September.
____________________________________

It's that time of year again, and I've started my Christmas shopping. I got some really cute little read-along books for little Brandon, who will be 4 in February. They contain CD/DVD material so that it can be played on a DVD player, CD player or a PC and he can read along with the stories. They're actually useful stories for small children -- they teach them about themselves and emotions and consequences.

Vanessa, who will be TWELVE in February will be difficult to figure out. Last year I gave her a $50 bill that was trapped inside a puzzle cube. Everyone (including her 6 year old sister) could solve the puzzle, but Vanessa didn't want to put the effort into solving it. But, after everyone told her that they wanted some of the money if they solved it and gave it to her, she decided she was on her own and spent almost two months trying to get that $50 out of that puzzle. That was the most she'd played with anything I've bought her to date. Anyway, I hate to always give kids money but she's a "tween" now and just really hard to figure out as far as what she likes and doesn't like.

Annie, who will be eight in March, is a bit easier. She's still a little girl, still loves "yadybugs" and still loves her unicorns and fairies. I'm looking for stuff for her room along these lines. I've already gotten her some stuff from Old Navy.

Cher, who will be six in March, isn't too hard to get stuff for, either. She loves frogs -- anything frogs, like her mother.

Michelle, my oldest daughter, is pretty easy, too. I got her a sweatshirt (like Lisa's apron) that says "Step away from my tools," and a nice warm up jacket from the college I work at. I'm also going to get her the mini-saw attachment for her Dremel tool, along with some other smaller things.

I ordered the new version of Madden NFL Football for Joe, an annual tradition. I also got the complete series of Into the West for Lisa, along with an order for season 3 of The L Word. I got her a router table for her birthday (which is September 2) and will begin to look for things that I think would be useful for her as she does her handiwork for the company. Having wholesale purchase authority, I'm pretty sure I can get her some good stuff through the company, and write it off as business operating expenses. Best of all worlds.
________________________________________

Only 18 more days until the NFL season starts. And it will open with a special edition of Monday Night Football on Thursday, September 7th -- featuring the Indianapolis Colts against the New York Giants. Peyton Manning against his brother, Eli. This should be a good game.

I decided that I'm no longer going to be a team fan, but instead will be a player fan. And I just love Peyton, have since he first entered the NFL. There's a lot of characteristics reminiscent of John Elway in that guy and I think that's why I like him. It's hard to NOT want to see him succeed, and hopefully this will be his year.

Of course, I'll remain somewhat of a Broncos fan, but it really hasn't been the same since John Elway retired. Along with his retirement, the loss of Ed McCaffrey, Trevor Pryce, Shannon Sharpe and now the offensive coordinator Gary Kubiak, the team just doesn't have the same spark. Their 10,000 points of light have dwindled to half that number, if you ask me.
____________________________________

A news article about our case against my employer came out Friday -- nothing like being behind the times. The ruling came out about 3 or 4 weeks ago now. Slow news is good news?

OK, Michelle, I'll play!

2006-08-16T14:47:00.000-04:00

What language would you like to speak fluently?
Spanish

Sharpies or Bics?
Sharpies

Worst health scare?
precancerous cervix

Title of last book you read?
HTML for Dummies

Green thumb or grim reaper?
Green Thumb!

Organized or disorganized?
Mentally or physically? Both the same, WAY disorganized!

Stick shift or automatic?
Depends -- I love driving a stick but often I find the automatic relaxing and effortless, especially when I'm feeling tired. I own an automatic.

Last time you threw up?
The last time one of the cats yakked on the carpet.

Is there anybody you are really afraid of?
Nuns, drill sergeants, and my mother.

Look to the left of your monitor… what do you see?
My travel coffee mug, a sign that says "If you can keep your head about you when all else are losing theirs, it's just possible that you don't have a good grasp of the situation," and the chaos that is my desktop while I unpack my office.

Do you do your own taxes?
Absolutely

Lights on or off?
At night, every light in the area I'm in is on, even if I'm just sitting and watching television. I like it either way when we...uh...y'know.

Name one thing under your bed right now.
There is no under my bed -- I have a water bed.

Ever had a sexual relationship with a co-worker?
Nope

Favorite candy?
Ferraro Rocher

Any phobias?
Mildly claustrophobic, mildly phobic about mosquitos, and highly phobic about anyone messing around with my face or head.

Shamelessly stolen from another site

2006-08-15T09:54:00.000-04:00

When the divorce was final, she spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house.

The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local Realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house.

She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the former husband and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...

...including the curtain rods.

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?

What was I thinking?

Enough Is ENOUGH!

Random thoughts and stuff

February 2, 2007

Rants

Thievery

Drowning

Fatigued Friday Frought with Frenzy

And oldie, but always a goodie!

Thursday, 1/11

Back to the old grind

It's Spring!

Weight loss

Pat Robertson is an Idiot (and other random thoughts)

Holiday recap

2006 in review

Sugar Hangover

Help me, I'm drowning!

Devil-Man Speak With Forked Tongue

More fun stuff

Dyke the Halls extra

Dyke the Halls

Random

Interesting Meme

Post-Thanksgiving Post

Culture Club

Time Passages

Post Election

What's in a word?

Take this job and shove it...

Monster Mash

Wrapping up the week

This is gonna be a long one...

Bouncing back

Code id by doze

Just for Jenn!

Friday around the web

New Tread on Me

ROWWWWR!

10/17/2006 *Updated*

A day late...

OUCH!

Team Hoyt

TGIT

Tuesday rant -- and it's a long one

Just Another Manic Monday

Holy Matrimony, Batman!

Friday Funnies

Reflections

No snappy title here

A wonderful weekend

Prattle

Got memories?

Reminiscing, rambling and reading

I QUIT!

Soapbox

Monday, already?

Awwwwwwww.......

Sunday...without the sun

They're BA-ACK!

It's PAYDAY!

Meet Idgie!

Tigga (1990-2006)

Saying goodbye

Are you shittin' me?

He's Here!

Monday Mumblings

OK, Michelle, I'll play!

Shamelessly stolen from another site

10/17/2006 Updated