What was I thinking?


Monday, May 22, 2006

Mental Monday

We had a nice, quiet, relaxing weekend. Pretty much got nothing accomplished on our list of important things to do except for the sleeping in part. We were able to check that off our list. We putzed around Saturday and got the last of the painting done on the mouldings and knobs for the new bi-fold doors, and the doorbell casing. But, other than that and a shopping trip to BJ's, we pretty much just took it easy. We watched Jarhead and The Money Pit that we TiVo'd off PPV, some recorded CSI programming that we'd not gotten to see last week, and that about did us for the weekend. Hardly nothing accomplished, and damned proud of it!

Found some interesting questions that would make me really have to think before I answer, and decided they'd be good to post here. And, watch for the tag at the end.

If you could only repent for one thing when you die, what one thing would you choose?

Having lived more than 40 years of my life as a lie.

If you could talk to anyone in the world by phone, who would you choose?

Hillary Clinton. After having read her book, I found her to be a fascinating woman. I give her a lot of credit for brains and strength.

If the Ambassador from Venus requested you to visit Venus but wasn't able to guarantee your return to Earth, would you go?

Absolutely not. I love my life, and I love my family. Not being able to see them would take something away from me that could never be replaced.

What hobbies did you have 10 years ago that you no longer have?

Following the kids around to all their sporting events, being a team Mom, sitting in drizzling rain and snow and wind watching them play or perform. They're grown and gone now and, as much as I bitched about it back then, I really miss it now.

What are some of the things in your life that you feel you honestly deserve?

Happiness. Equality. Respect and dignity.

What is the best gift you've ever received?

My kids. My partner. Love. No material gift has ever compared.

When was the time when you had to search most deeply for your own inner strength?

There have been a lot of times in my life that I've had to search for that strength. Between the ages of 10-16 I had to search a lot for it. When I became a single parent I looked for it a lot. When my oldest daughter ran away I desperately searched for it. I searched deeply for it when I began the "transitional" relationship that finally caused me to begin to live my life with integrity and, when that relationship ended, I needed that strength to get through it and move on and know that there were good/better things for me in the future. Even now, with all that's going on with my family and father, I have had to search deeply for strength.

If you found a magic wand, what would you do first?

Look for an owner's manual to see how it works, and what it's "shelf life" is. If there was unlimited use, I'd probably first wave it over my house and make it *poof* sided, roof repaired, lawn treated, and interior clean, new and sparkling. If there was only one use, I'd wave it over the air and make the world one where everyone could live freely, without persecution or discrimination.

If you could say one thing to any religious leader (just one), what would you say to whom?

Pope Benedict -- I'd tell him to shut the fuck up about what other people are doing and fix what's broken in his own front yard.

Finish this sentence: "I never leave home without...."

...saying "I love you" to my family, and my cell phone in my hands.

What do you think life's greatest adventure is?

Living each day.

What two flavors of ice cream would you get on a double-dip cone?

Death by Chocolate and Chocolate Panda Paws.

What is the most difficult subject for you to talk about?

My relationship (or lack thereof) with my mother.

At what point in your life did you first experience total trust in someone or something?

With Kim. Unfortunately, that trust was totally misplaced. I trusted what she said, and it all turned out to be a scam.

Is there anyone you've ever known whom you've honestly felt morally superior to?

I don't know if I've ever felt morally superior to anyone, but I know I have judged others based on their behavior or looks, when I shouldn't have. I don't think anyone should feel morally superior to anyone.

How would you finish this sentence? "My destiny has always been _____________."

Lisa

What one thing always speaks deeply to you, to your spirit, no matter your mood or what else is going on in your life?

Music. Music has always spoken to me in ways that I cannot truly articulate. It doesn't need lyrics, necessarily, because often it's the melody, or a specific instrument or section of a musical piece that truly touches me.

What is the one experience in your life that has caused the most pain?

Being a parent. I've always said it was my greatest source of pain, but always my greatest source of joy as well.

Now, I tag Michelle, Michele, Jenn, Sandra, and Lisa.

4 Comments:

  • At 5/22/2006 7:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    If you could only repent for one thing when you die, what one thing would you choose?

    Not telling my family sooner about who I am, so I could have lived my life open and honestly to the ones I love.

    If you could talk to anyone in the world by phone, who would you choose?

    Tina Turner. Her strenth and spirit has always amazed me and I love to thank her for all the joy she has given me through her music.

    If the Ambassador from Venus requested you to visit Venus but wasn't able to guarantee your return to Earth, would you go?

    Not a chance!

    What hobbies did you have 10 years ago that you no longer have?

    Bowling and Fishing.

    What are some of the things in your life that you feel you honestly deserve?

    Happiness. Equality. Someone besides my mom who truely loves me for who I am instead of what they want me to be.

    What is the best gift you've ever received?

    Pat! I finally found someone that loves me for who I am instead of who they want me to be.

    If you found a magic wand, what would you do first?

    Unlike Pat, I would actually read the owners manual. If I had more than one option, I would definitely waive it towards our neighbor Mary and make her,happier. That wouldn't use up much power. I think I would try to make the sun shine more in Rochester so we could all be happier and healthier, plus it would make my Pat smile a lot more!

    If you could say one thing to any religious leader (just one), what would you say to whom?

    I honestly do not know.

    Finish this sentence: "I never leave home without...."

    ...saying "I love you".

    What do you think life's greatest adventure is?

    Making a difference in someone's life.

    What two flavors of ice cream would you get on a double-dip cone?

    Plain chocolate, sometimes it's the simple things that are the "sweetest".

    What is the most difficult subject for you to talk about?

    Myself and my emotions. This may explain a lot of my brief answers to these questions. I am a woman of few words, but a lot of emotions.

    At what point in your life did you first experience total trust in someone or something?

    With Pat. She will always make decisions based on fairness and what will be the best for "us" in the long term. I love that about her!

    Is there anyone you've ever known whom you've honestly felt morally superior to?

    No


    How would you finish this sentence? "My destiny has always been _____________."

    unknown

    What one thing always speaks deeply to you, to your spirit, no matter your mood or what else is going on in your life?

    I guess the one thing I always think of is my family, which includes Pat. I think about how much I love them and how blessed I have been all of my life to have such wonderful people in my life. I am one of the lucky ones!



    What is the one experience in your life that has caused the most pain?

    The LOSS of my sister-in-law Helen. I have never gotten over her death. I no longer mourn her, but I miss her very much. I honestly thought that she would be the one to say to me, "So, are you ever going to tell us you're gay, or are we suppose to just keep guessing?"

     
  • At 5/24/2006 1:34 PM, Blogger Hotflash said…

    If you could only repent for one thing when you die, what one thing would you choose?
    The fact that I broke every covenant I made with God. I’d lump them all into one BIG doozy of an uh-oh and hope that I could get forgiven for the whole enchilada.
    .
    If you could talk to anyone in the world by phone, who would you choose?
    Hmm…It would be Gordon B. Hinckley… president of the mormon church. I have a lot of questions for him.

    If the Ambassador from Venus requested you to visit Venus but wasn't able to guarantee your return to Earth, would you go?
    .no… I only get round trip fares… never one-way.
    What hobbies did you have 10 years ago that you no longer have?
    Cooking, writing, scrap booking, and message boards….. just no time anymore for any of them.

    What are some of the things in your life that you feel you honestly deserve?
    Unconditional love. Happiness. A successful marriage.
    What is the best gift you've ever received?
    Umm… my four kids of course… but if materialistically speaking… my best gift was from my son Brian last year when he gave me the biggest, most beautiful bouquet of flowers and loving card I have ever received on Mother’s Day. It wasn't the gift... it was that it was from HIM and he is my most quiet, shy kid.

    When was the time when you had to search most deeply for your own inner strength?
    That is hard to say….but I can think of 3 times…. First was when I was finally able to put an end to the molestation happening to me. Second, was when I was going through my divorce and right now I am searching pretty deeply because I have had to end a relationship with a man I have incredible passion for…..
    If you found a magic wand, what would you do first?
    I would make 50 lbs disappear off my body and then I would have the motivation to KEEP it off. Getting it off in the first place is proving to be an impossible task.

    If you could say one thing to any religious leader (just one), what would you say to whom?
    Well, I already used my “phone-a-friend” to cover this one…..

    Finish this sentence: "I never leave home without...."
    Closing the garage and locking the doors….

    What do you think life's greatest adventure is?
    Learning why we are here.

    What two flavors of ice cream would you get on a double-dip cone?
    Amaretto and coffee.

    What is the most difficult subject for you to talk about?
    My own inner turmoil. My own hypocrisy. Not living honestly within myself.

    At what point in your life did you first experience total trust in someone or something?
    Unfortunately I have not learned to trust ANYONE completely yet. I’ve been burned far too many times.

    Is there anyone you've ever known whom you've honestly felt morally superior to?
    Hell no. Who am I to judge anybody else’s morals??? Ha! LOL… no freaking way….

    How would you finish this sentence? "My destiny has always been _____________."
    To write…………

     
  • At 5/25/2006 9:13 AM, Blogger Pat said…

    Whoa, hotflash. Ending a relationship? With the hot tamale? WHY? Email me!

     
  • At 5/26/2006 11:25 AM, Blogger Hotflash said…

    I did e-mail ya!

     

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